my bf has been going through a stressful 2 yr divorce. i've been with him for 4 months. it's over this week so i had planned a get a way to the beach this coming weekend. my intention was to celebrate and give him a nice relaxing weekend after all this stress. i didn't book anything but when i mentioned it to him he said "thats the weekend after my court date...i'll prolly be hating women by then" well i asked him a month ago and things have been rocky lately. i haven't talked to him for a week now. should i book it and go by myself or with a friend...so when he calls next weekend i'm at the beach...the trip he could've came on but was too stubborn. sorry i sound bitter...i'm hurting by his actions right now but starting to get a little pissed off with the lack of contact. I don't even know if he plans on pursuing our relationship or not, if i was used, or if he's just being a typical guy wallowing in self pity. he'll have to call sometime if he wants his house key back i guess?
2007-10-14 11:38:16 · 9 answers · asked by Jax 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
From someone who has been through a nasty divorce:
He's hurting. Even if he doesn't love her, he's hurting. He's disappointed in the fact that what he thought was going to be forever just wasn't so. Give him space. He may need a lot of it. This may be the end of your relationship with him.
But don't try to force him to come on this trip- he'll only resent you for it. And this has nothing to do with you, personally.
2007-10-14 11:44:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't break your plans. Go with a friend & try to have a good time. I really don't think this guy is ready for a relationship with you or anyone else. Don't sit around waiting for him to come around, because that'd be such a waste of time. You had good intentions for a relaxing weekend but if he was to go along, he'd probably spoil it for you. Life goes on, so go & have a good time. I'd start putting distance between this guy & you. Don't call him, just let him be & see what happens. Time will tell.
*Prize 45.....nicely said.
2007-10-14 12:02:15 · answer #2 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for him to say he will be hating women then ,is not right. hes putting you in the same place as his ex. go with a friend,have fun,and dont even give him the time of day. if he doesnt try to contact you after the big d,then take his key,put it in the mailbox and find someone else who will not put you on the same level as an ex.for him to avoid you already for a week is bull. i would of wrote him out of my life. he should be wanting to show you how much you mean to him and how much better you are then his ex.
2007-10-14 11:50:35 · answer #3 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but this is one of the reasons people say not to date someone who is seperated...they still have to get divorced and deal with all of that and they're usually not in any position to give a new relationship what it needs because they're too deep inside their own heads. Anyway, I know that's not 100% of the time but since you decided to date a guy who wasn't through it all you should keep that in mind and just try and support him through it all. That's my $.02 anyway...
2007-10-14 11:45:01 · answer #4 · answered by Michael C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's generally true that after a breakup of a long term relationship the first relationship to follow is mostly for therapy. It is rarely for keeps. Just keep that in mind.
2007-10-14 12:05:47 · answer #5 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, go without him. He has issues he needs to deal with and quite frankly, it doesn't sound like he's ready for another committed relationship yet. He needs time to heal. Never allow a man to define who you are; don't hold up your life waiting on him. You have value and worth, and a man will be lucky to have you in his life. Good luck.
2007-10-14 12:00:28 · answer #6 · answered by Prize45 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take ME Take ME... I'll help you have some fun... while having a little myself.. How about Myrtle Beach.. It is closer to where I live... What do you say? You arent CHICKEN are you??? lol
2007-10-14 13:37:44 · answer #7 · answered by fire_chief22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Book it sweetheart. If he can't go with you its ok. It sounds like your kind of stressing out about it too so if he cant go, then you can go and pamper your self.
2007-10-14 11:44:12 · answer #8 · answered by strikexaxpose93 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear,
Live your life as if he was not in it. Enjoy your trip!
You may meet someone there.
2007-10-14 14:12:19 · answer #9 · answered by bahjij6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋