I plan on breastfeeding only, but....?

Question

My mother in-law keeps buying me formula. And telling me that I shouldn't limit myself to just breastfeeding. She told me that she doesn't understand why I want to in the first place, and I can get formula free from WIC.
I really don't want to give my child anything but breast milk if I possibly can.
My husband and I have already discussed this issue with her, but it's like she's ignoring everything we say. I'm starting to get upset. I don't want my child to be a formula baby. No offense to anyone. I've always planned on breastfeeding only. I understand if it's an emergency and she has to give him formula. But she's trying to make this a full time feeding option.
I almost don't want to leave the baby to be babysat. I don't know what to say or do. What do you think we should do about it?

Answer 1

Well, back in her time formula-feeding may have been more popular, so she doesn't 'get' breastfeeding like we do now. You're making the BEST POSSIBLE decision for your baby in breastfeeding, and good job making that decision! I exclusively breastfeed my little girl (3 1/2 months), and I love every second of it.

I know that it has to be frustrating...and I, too would have a problem leaving baby with her to babysit. I think all 3 of you need to have a chat about this. Tell her, 'No more formula, breastmilk is BEST for MY baby.' And tell her the benefits of it. She'll get it once you drill it into her head a few times and make her realize your mind is made up.

Answer 2

Formula feeding is an odd development of the early 20th century. Durring this time of so many medical and technological advancements, people seemed to develop a very serious belief that anything nature could do, science and your doctor can do better. Now families are starting to shift back into more "natural" child raising tendencies. Mothers chosing midwives over hospitals, baby slings over strollers, and breast feeding are all signs of this.

As far as breast feeding goes though, good for you for being committed to it. It really is the best thing for your baby, no matter what your mother in law might want to tell you. Formula has a place in certain situations, but if you can raise your baby on breast milk alone then that's awesome.

If you've already made your views very clear to her, then I don't really know what else you can do. It's her money she's wasting, and it's not like your forced to use what she gives you. Maybe you can just donate the formula to some kind of charity, like a battered women's shelter or something. When the baby is born and she is seeing you NOT use the formula, she'll probably stop buying it.

Edited to say: Did you know that breast feeding your baby has also been linked to a faster post-partum weight loss for the mother? This is true because it takes a lot of metabolic energy to produce breast milk. If more women knew that I bet every mother in America would be committed to it ;-)

Answer 3

You decided to breastfeed, so that's what you should do no matter what anyone else says. And breastfeeding IS best - better than formula for your baby - all research shows that. I don't understand why your mother in law is so persistent on you not breastfeeding, I find that odd. Is she going to be babysitting your child? If so, you may want to look into a different babysitter. It sounds like she is stuck in her ways & is going to do what she wants to do no matter what you say (even though it's YOUR child, not hers). I think if you pump & send her breast milk, she will only dump it & give the baby formula. Maybe that makes it easier for her, but it's not right since it's not your wishes. Stand up on your feet, don't let her push you down. Since it's your husbands Mom, he needs to tell her to back off, that you two made the decision together & that's what you're sticking to. She can buy all the formula she wants, but she'll just be wasting her money. When she buys you formula, return it to the store & get something else that you need for the baby.

Answer 4

Good for you for planning to breastfeed! It is the best decision. I have been BFing my little girl for almost 5 months and I LOVE it.

You are in a tough situation with your mother in law, i know it can be hard to be diplomatic. Does your husband support you in this? Make sure he knows is kind of up to him to protect you from his mom or from anyone else that stresses you out when you bring the baby home and while you are adjusting to being a new mom.

You should give her some info on breastfeeding, maybe she really doesn't realize that it is better for the baby (although even the infant formula says 'breast milk is best' in fine print on the label!)
Even if she does come around to your way of thinking, it sounds like she will always have something to say about how you raise your little one.
Is there a reason why she would have to babysit? You probably won't want to leave your little one with anyone for the first year if you can help it anyway ;)
Part of being a mother is being strong and standing up for yourself and your child no matter how awkward it is. Time to start practicing that!
There will always be people telling you that you should do things differently, and sometimes they will be relentless. You and your husband both need to tell her straight up that unless there is a medical reason why you cannot breastfeed you will NOT use formula and it is no longer open for discussion. It will take a lot of guts but it needs to be said even if she gets offended. If she brings it up again or brings more formula then you tell her again, " i realize you are trying to help, but it isn't open for discussion" Be strong mama, you're doing the right thing ((HUGS))

Answer 5

Tell her that if she buys any more formula, or even mentions the word formula she will not be invited back over until she can behave. That is completely ridiculous.

And what "emergency" could that possibly be? Let me tell you if you leave your baby in her care there will be an "emergency" -even if you leave enough pumped milk to feed several babies.

Even if you had to have emergency surgery there are safer things to do than offer formula, and in almost ALL cases as soon as you can safely hold the baby again you can safely breastfeed again. (However most doctors will tell you otherwise because they are ignorant and figure "better safe than sorry" means telling mom to pump and dump for 48 hours. However they are completely ignoring the risks to the breastfeeding relationship and the risks of ANY formula feeds).

Answer 6

Ahh, if you think this is bad now, just wait until your baby is born! It will get worse! She'll probably start bugging you: "your baby is crying because she's hungry, give her a bottle" and so and so. I went through that. My mom "didn't have milk", neither my grandma. My best friend works in a pharmacy and she was asking me ALL THE TIME to give her a list with the bottles and formula that I wanted. All of them would look at me like if I was crazy when I would tell them I wasn't interested whatsoever. My mom is being kinda supportive though, although she doesn't think is normal my baby is breastfed so often (she was feeding me and my brother formula, every 3/4 hours).

Talk to a lactation consultant if you haven't yet, is gonna be great help in those moments when people around make you feel like you're "starving your baby".

Be strong, if she doesn't get it, that's her problem, this is your decision after all.

Ree had a great idea btw, you could make some money out of it!

Good luck :)

Answer 7

print some info on the ENDLESS benifits of breastfeeding and give it to her or ask her to look it over in an email or something I love y family and I had some of the same discouragement they meant well but didn't realize it would be damaging to the b/f relationship! I had a rough start and my family could see that I was upset and stubbon! so they bought the formula and thought I'd use it I got angry and didn't go about things the right way hormones and I felt inadequate! but I stood my ground and things are better now ditch the formula even having it around on a hard day (growth spurt) is too tempting I'm sure she is just uneducated! after she sees the benefits she will be so proud of you for giving her grandbaby the best if not then you need to stand you're ground ! OH CRUD JACKSON'S MOM I ACCIDENTALLY THUMBS DOWNED YOU GOOD ANSWER I WAS TRYING TO T UP SORRY I AGREE WITH YOU!

Answer 8

Congrats on being a strong woman and giving your baby the absolute best. Maybe you could print something out for her to read telling of the many benefits of breastmilk. If that doesn't work, I would just tell her that she is wasting her money. You are not feeding her formula and that's it. Tell her any formula that she gives you will be sold on Ebay and you will use the money to buy your baby something it really needs, like Pampers. Sounds like you have your hands full. I'm sure your husband has told his mother the same thing but maybe he needs to be the one to be firm with her. Good luck and happy breastfeeding. We need more moms like you.

Answer 9

have her over for dinner one night, and you, her and your husband need to have another discussion. Let her know that you understand where shes coming from about formula feedings, but it is your baby and after weighing the benefits of breastfeeding and formula feeding, your husband and you have decided that "breast is best" for your child, and you will not let anyone, no matter how well intending, change your minds on the subject, and will continue to breastfeed unless your doctor or the babies doctor suggests you stop for medical reasons. thank her for her efforts and money spent, and inform her that even though you appreciate the thought, any more formula she buys for you will either be donated to local churches/food pantries, or sold to parents who chose to use it. (please keep in mind that even though you are solely breastfeeding, it is a good idea to keep a few unopened cans around of formula just in case something comes up and you cant breastfeed for a while, like an illness that leaves you on medication longer than you have stored up milk for or other reasons, just pump and discard the milk during those times so you don't lose your milk supply and can resume breastfeeding after it passes, and there may be times when you aren't around and baby is hungry, and lo and behold the last breastmilk bottle had been used hours earlier and no one realized it) i hope this will help you, and please know that she is set in her ways, and this conversation will make her realize you are serious about this decision, and some of her efforts will stop, but chances are she'll still mention it, but will quit jamming formula down your throats. just be ready for the whole "i told you so" speach and attitude if heaven forbid something hinders you from soley breastfeeding in the future, or do a really good job at hiding it from her lol. good luck, im going to have to deal with this same situation from my mother in law, but her reason against breast feeding is that "breasts are for sexual purposes only, its disgusting to put a baby up to your breast and have them suck" she wont listen to my side at all. so i feel for you! i hope this works and helps you out!

Answer 10

Just tell her that she should stop pre-purchasing formula for the baby now... each baby's tummy is different. You have no idea what type of formula the baby can drink.

This will get her off your back for the time being. Once the baby is born, just nurse and don't allow her to babysit until she is respectful of your choice to nurse only.