It all started 9 years ago, when my mom first married this man. He started out having very little money, no house, and the only thing he had was green card. He took advantage of my mom because she was a successful woman who ran a restaurant partnership.
When he moved in, he caused a lot of grief to my grandparents that lived with us so they moved out. Then awhile later, he brings his nephew to live with us. I ended leaving for college so he brought another person from China to live in the house. From what I understand my mom didn't get any sort of payment to take care of these boys, but my stepdad apparently accepted payment but kept and used the money for himself. He also forced my mom to quit her work to create a separate restaurant. By doing so, he had access to all the money and stole money. He also had 2 kids with my mom and he never takes care of them. I am currently commuting to my college so I can come home and take care of my brothers. They got a divorce last year.
2007-10-14 10:59:21 · 17 answers · asked by rurah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
(This is the continuation of my last detail)
In the divorce papers he got the other house that we own and he owes $250 a month for child support. He violated that rule because he want back to China for vacation for a couple months and did not pay child support. Now he is back and demands that he wants my mothers retaurant shares. My mom is too afraid to confront him because hes psychotic and threatens that he needs the money or else something bad will happen. From what I understand, he did something bad during that time he was in China and cannot go back to NY..gangs, triad? I recorded an argument between them that said that they will chop off his hands etc.
-- I am bringing this up because yesterday I confronted him because he tried to throw away my tv stand which I was going to bring to my girlfriends house.
Because of the our confrontation, he got piss and confronted my mom that he wants the shares now.
2007-10-14 11:07:23 · update #1
Sorry if I didnt specifiy a question. I guess I was trying to relieve my anger.
But I wanted my mom to kick him out of the house but she does not want to for the sake of the kids. She's afraid he might kidnap the kids or something because my mom seen stuff like that done to one of her friends before at work.
I mean what should I do as the oldest son? Should I report him to the police?
2007-10-14 11:10:42 · update #2
He's not an illegal immigrant anymore because my mom helped him become a U.S. citizen.
2007-10-14 11:18:13 · update #3
she has to go back to court and get a court ordered settlement. As part of the settlement she can get a restraining order keeping him out of whatever she gets, ie the house and or the restaurant.
the tricky part is she has to ENFORCE her part.
It's pretty simple, but will require an attorney to do.
2007-10-14 11:04:44 · answer #1 · answered by Sarge1572 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your pain - I had problems like this with my father when I was 14, over silly things too like make up and high heels, he called me horrible words that I don't want to write here. He hit me once and then my mother sent him out. He was horrible to my siblings too, Evan and Triana. I'd hate to think what he'd say when he found out I got pregnant last year. Perhaps you could wait until your mum is in a good mood and sober, and tell her your feelings? She may react badly to this and get angry, but it's worth a shot, isn't it? Another solution I'd always thought of when I fought with dad is running away, and then returning just to see how worried he got, and if he wasn't worried I would know he truly didn't love me. I don't recomend this as it could be so upsetting and hurtful. Keep your head up and keep smiling, you'll be the strongest person ever once you're old enough to move out because of your upbringing. You have no idea how useful that will be in later life :-) xx ~ Gabrielle
2016-05-22 13:07:38 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get your mom some help. Maybe this is a self esteem issue. She needs to believe that she is better than to have to deal with this, and she doesn't. She conforms to what he wants, while accepting that he takes advantage of her. She doesn't want to be alone- and to accept this situation as what it is, and do something about it- she'll lose him- maybe the divorce was a way to show him that she was serious about not putting up with his behavior anymore- but can't actually put the divorce into real life- and have him move out too- so she can move on. There isn';t much you can do about this- and if you're an adult- I urge you to move out. Try and get her some help so that this man doesn't destroy whatever self-esteem and strength she has left as a woman- and continue to alienate the people in her life that do mean something- and do care......
good luck.
2007-10-14 11:09:20 · answer #3 · answered by **leigh** 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well first let me say i am glad that your mom no longer lives with this man.secondly there really is nothing you can do to make your mom stay away from him,just be there for her and keep telling her what you see looking in from the outside. unfortunately we sometimes choose the wrong person and feel that we cant live without them,but i hope your mom is past that stage by now. this man is a user and will never benefit your mom,so you help her wtih your siblings and try to open a line of communication with her that lets her know that you are there for her. and will help her in anyway you can. let her know that she doesnt need him to define who she is and frankly they're are better fish in the sea.
2007-10-14 11:20:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to get a restraining order. Then call the cops and they will remove him from HER home. Life is too short to be putting up with his immature ways. Help your mom---since this is new to her and support decisions that are smart on her part. Tell her to let the emotions go and get him out. If he is an illegal alien that will really make it easy for him---send him back where he came from---loser--- Good luck to you and your mom.
2007-10-14 11:12:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
these are points that your mother must talk to her lawyer about. immediately if not sooner. her lawyer will advise her as to what legal steps she can and should take regarding this leech. if he is an illegal alien then I would also see about calling the immigration department. Sorry to say but this is going to get nasty. your mom needs legal counsel right now.
2007-10-14 11:05:19 · answer #6 · answered by dances with cats 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't really see a question here, but it sounds like this guy is a real jerk and your mom is being taking advantage of. Why on earth is he still living with your mother, she needs to kick him out yesterday! He sounds like a slime ball, I hope your mother gets her head on straight and REALLY gets rid of him!
2007-10-14 11:02:56 · answer #7 · answered by Ca 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me as if she needs to talk to her lawyer, somethings not right. When someone get divorced there is to be a separation, meaning he needs to go,
2007-10-14 11:11:35 · answer #8 · answered by Linn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow sounds like you're family is in a real sticky situation! Sorry to hear. but exactly what is your question?
2007-10-14 11:03:25 · answer #9 · answered by snip_from_mars 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your mom to throw the whole bunch of them out. if she won't then just move on wiht your own life.
2007-10-14 11:02:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋