Im not liking my second year at university?

Question

Its been three weeks, sinced i went back for my second year and I just dont like it, my course is more difficult, its scares me as well knowing this year counts, last year I didnt make that many friends only friends through friends, who I didnt really click with to be honest, I had to rely on one friend who i knew from back home at the same uni for social stimulation, his friends I didnt really click with due to them being uncaring, rude, selfish, manipulative and bullyish, the reason i didnt make friends was due to introversion and shyness and I want to make friends with people i get along with, but me being friends with the sort of people I just mentioned, has shattered my confidence and i feel everyone will be the same. since going to uni i've changed a lot, I drink a lot, smoke and have gone out of shape whereas before I was completely healthy.

So Im worreid its going to be like last year or maybe even worse. What should i do?

I just feel everyone else can make friends right away accept me and that Im the only one without friends.

Answer 1

Then get a bloody Job

Answer 2

It's time to bite the bullet and take your own initiative. The friend from back home clearly isn't right for you, so you do need to make the effort to make friends. It's not so hard - you're not stupid, you did, after all, not only get into university, you have made it past your first year. And clearly by coming to this conclusion, that certain changes need to be made in your social environment, you have reached another level of maturity, so kudos to you!

So, you know what you want, now how to go about achieving this.

Make a list of things you like doing socially. For example, do you like sports? Chess? Music? Drama? Dance? Then look into the university clubs or societies that are involved in these (for me personally the drama society was brilliant), sign up for workshops or training sessions or whatever, and start talking to people. And so what if they comment on your lack of fitness, the fact that you're a second year, let them have their say - the important thing is that you are making changes in your life. Only THEY don't need to know this, just smile and say nothing, ask them what they did last year, what they want to do this year, etc.

The various university/clubs are a marvellous way of meeting people, much better than classes, and certainly much better than non-stop partying. You do NOT have to be studying drama or English literarture to join the drama group, nor do you need to be into acting to participate - they need people with other abilities also, remember, to build sets, organise the lights and other technical things, set up the lights, make the costumes, do the make-up, design things ... I knew a lot of law students in my college drama club, and engineers, and even a few medical students (but not many, their schedules were very full), as well as the usual arts, social science, psychology, etc.

Don't worry too much that people will, as you put it, be the same. What counts is that you have changed inside and want to change other aspects of your life too - so go to it. And have a great time!

Answer 3

It has only been three weeks so it might improve. Do not allow the friends (or lack of) on the course to influence you, it is more important how well you can do and enjoy the work. I suggest you speak to someone in the University, they will have guidance people, course organisers, and careers advisers you can speak to. If you are not coping with the course, they will try and shift you onto another course that is more suitable, and the earlier you do this the better, as it reduces the amount of catching up you will need to do, and you may not need to repeat a year that way. Remember there will always be people dropping out so there will most likely not be a problem fitting you into a different course. If it is mainly the social aspects that are bothering you, then try joining a society, then you will make friends with people who are not necessarily on the same course.
Do not drop out! There are probably tons of people feeling the same way as you are.

Answer 4

I'm also in my second year and finding it harder and very different from last year.

It sounds as if you are maturing at a different rate from this other 'friend' and have come to a natural break. Are you living in halls or have you got private accommodation for this year? Possibly looking for somewhere to live with different students would help. Have you got enough time to try a part time job to get to know more people? It is hard trying to make friends when you are shy - I find it difficult to do small talk and make friends as well but give yourself time. Go to lectures and use this time to work so that when you do feel ready, you have time to enjoy yourself without work being too much of a problem.

Keep in mind that you are at uni for your benefit not theirs. Stay friendly but do not feel that you have to 'rely' on these people - you need to learn how to rely on yourself now. If possible, stop the smoking and drinking and see if there is a uni gym you can join to get yourself healthy again. Please don't give up. This is a hickup in your life and you will regret it if you do not go for your degree.

Good luck and keep going.

Answer 5

I'm sorry that you are having such a difficult time. Perhaps as someone else suggested, you can transfer to the county community college for the remainder of your time earning an associate's degree and join in some of the school's activities coming into your own at that location. There is no pressure to go to a 4-year college (at all, but) just yet, and if you're not comfortable with your living situation including being on campus, you won't get the utmost benefit from the education that you receive.

Answer 6

Don't worry about it buddy. Check this out I'm in my first semester of college right now as well, and don't got no friends like you for the same above reasons. You will obviously meet people eventually, so don't worry about it. Your right if you don't like bullies and mean people; that is your right, and you shouldn't change it for nobody; why go making friends , if your just gonna end up fighting with them.

Go running and start working out if your worried about your shape bro. There has got to be a pretty decent gym in that school. Do like an hour of running a week; thats sure to get you back in shape.

I'm pretty shy myself, but you would know the people you would probably kick it off with well man. Good luck with that. " friends come and go" when it all boils down let the friends come to you, and focus on your school work bro

Answer 7

Perhaps you're not at the right university. Have you ever thought of working a year before going back to school or taking a year and volunteering. You might also consider going to a community college and then transfer. If you don't like any of those options, how about joining some school organizations or clubs that you might be interested in. You have to be open, available and interested in other people to make new friends.

Answer 8

Im in the same position and dont really know a lot of people at university and i dont really care, because im there to get my degree. Do you think you are going to see these people again when you leave? No.

Your work is more important than making friends. Lets get this into perspective. If you carry on fretting about this, you can seriously mess up your degree.

Answer 9

University is scary because it is new and you may not know anyone there. The people you were talking to who turned out to be quite horrible were not your friends, and you should be glad u have realised this and have seperated yourself from them, be proud of yourself for this.
Just be yourself and you will make friends. Be confident in yourself and you will make friends. Do not worry about it and it will happen.
you may have changed alot last year becuase you are growinf up and adapting to uni life.
You should concentrate on your studies and don't worry!!

Answer 10

Sounds like you are a very picky person

"I didnt really click with them due to them being uncaring, rude, selfish, manipulative and bullyish"

5 insults in one sentence. Maybe you should look for the good in people instead of the bad.

Answer 11

attempt to no longer hardship guy, i've got in basic terms began my first 3 hundred and sixty 5 days of uni and that i'd wanna change my substantial! i do no longer understand, i think all and sundry has hurdles to climb over. i'm adjusting to life at uni too: i discover it complicated to fulfill people and that i'm additionally shy. i do no longer understand what i would be like in 2nd 3 hundred and sixty 5 days, yet i think my suggestion to you is in basic terms attempt to contain your self interior the uni extra: consistent with probability play some activities. additionally, once you're shy, in basic terms initiate conversing to people at college. i'm fairly shy yet i've got accomplished it some situations and function fairly met some acquaintances that way. desire it fairly works out for ya.