His ex wife has lied numerous times. He hasn't seen his kids in years because she never let him see them and whenever he called her husband made her hang up on him. Then she moved out of state and he didn't know where to get in touch with them. Then she finally got hold of us and said she needed to get in touch with him due to his daughters health. Of course we fell for that and my son met her at the mall and he was served papers that he is due in court Tuesday. The papers had Sept. 7th on he just got them. He has been paying child support on them. He is litterally going crazy not wanting to give them up even if he can't see them. There divorce was in Arkansas and she is filing in Oklahoma where she now lives.
2007-10-14 08:19:20 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He can't find a lawyer in Oklahoma at this late in time and he did have visitation which she wanted to bring them so his house instead of the court. That was his big mistake because then she stopped bringing them. He didn't have any money to hire a lawyer and she had the free lawyer so they wouldn't take him.
2007-10-14 08:29:16 · update #1
He needs to go to court, even if he doesn't have lawyer and ask the judge to continue the matter until he can seek legal counsel because he doesn't want to give up his daughters.
Then he needs to get a lawyer. That is the bottom line, he can call around, talk to people, but he must find a lawyer if he wants to stop this.
Just like with visitation, honestly, if he wanted to see his children he could have gotten a lawyer and fought to get a set visitation by the courts... and if she violated it he could have filed contempt charges until she lost custoday for denying his visitation.
Now he needs a lawyer to make this right.
2007-10-14 08:59:55 · answer #1 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ok I need to correct some people on something. There ARE ways for his ex to terminate his parental rights without his written permission. He NEEDS to go to that hearing and talk to the judge. My husband adopted my son 2 years ago and we had to do what we could to notify my ex (notice in the paper, try to serve him at last known address etc) But had he shown up to the hearing and said no it would've at least put things on hold. That's why it's important that he show up. Because at the first hearing she will be able to tell the judge whatever she wants and the judge could terminate his rights then and there (that's what happened in my case) So even without a lawyer (which really for the termination part isn't really that necessary.....especially if he can prove he's been paying support etc) he needs to be there to give his side of things. Also, if he's serious about being a father he needs to take this opportunity to get visitation restored so he's part of his kids lives.
2007-10-14 09:01:40 · answer #2 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, if he can prove that he's tried to get in touch, wrote letters, or that all his attempts have been rebuked then it is a good thing.
Besides, I didn't think that someone could just adopt your kid without your consent while you were still alive and paying alimony to the ex-partner.
Surely you'll have phone bills to show when he has made contact?
I know that being a dad is more than just the biological father.
So, he has to prove how much he loves his children and resent someone else taking his paternity away from him.
The only thing that can still make him feel that he still counts for them.
All the best, for this court hearing.
2007-10-14 08:29:22 · answer #3 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Firstly he won't be giving his kids up as he does not have them in his life in the first place. He will always be their father no matter what. If the husband is sincere in wanting to adopt them then I'd say to go ahead. The children will be able to make their own mind up about their real father once they are grown. Think it is time your son moved on rebuilding his own life as it sounds as he has put it on hold for the past few years. If he is paying child support then I wouldn't think new husband could file for adoption - wouldn't the support payments have to stop after that? Better talk to a lawyer.
2007-10-14 08:28:34 · answer #4 · answered by curiouscanadian 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Unless he was an abusive father his parental rights cannot be severed without his permission. She would have to prove in court that he had abused them in some way. They will ask him to sign but he can always say no.
The fact that he has not seen them so long may hurt his case. The court may assume lack of interest or wonder why he did not go to court to try and force the issue. It will be bad for him as well if he is behind in his child support payments.
I recommend he get an attorney accompany him to court so his rights are fully covered. If all is well they cannot force him to allow someone else to adopt them.
If he has not seen them so long he should be aware that if he allows them to be adopted they cannot make him pay child support anymore. It then becomes the responsibility of the adopted father to support them. I am not suggesting he do this but if he can't see them anyway he might want to lessen his financial responsibility.
Good luck to him
2007-10-14 08:29:06 · answer #5 · answered by mn lady 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him that even though he doesn't have a lawyer still appear in court, and let the judge know that he wasn't given enough time to get a lawyer, and that she served him with the papers late on purpose. Tell him to tell the judge all the lies she has told, about her moving away, and the judge should give him a chance to get it together. No one can adopt his kids unless he signs them away, so he doesn't have to worry about that. He is the father period, and if he doesn't want to give them up, then he shouldn't have too. Tell him to go to court, and hopefully the judge will get him a pro bono lawyer. just because she has a free one, doesn't mean he can't have a free one too. Good Luck
2007-10-14 08:40:38 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he needs a lawyer. First of all no one can adopt them without the parents consent. If he has been stopped from seeing his kids by the courts then there must be a good reason.
2007-10-14 08:25:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
He shouldn't have been paying the child support if he had no visitation rights and her new husband was supporting them in a different state. He should be able to get a free consultation from any attorney there and if she is getting a free attorney in Oklahoma where she is presently living he may be able to get one in Arkansas because the case may have to referred back to Arkansas where the original divorce took place. I don't think the new husband can adopt the children without his consent unless they show that he has neglected them, which they may try to say he did by not visiting and such, but she may not have had the right to take the children to another state without his permission in the first place, so get the attorney and ask about these things. Hope things work out for him.
2007-10-14 09:05:37 · answer #8 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
the other man cannot adopt the children without him (your son relinquishing his parental rights). he can go to courtroom and tell the judge that he is the natural birth father and does not authorize the other man adopting his children.
it is not too late to get an attorney. from my understanding there are district attorneys inside the courthouse. he walk to their office and ask to speak to one.
never say never. he can prolong the procedure by requesting a blood test to establish paternity. those are his children and he has rights. he needs to stop waddling and feeling sorry for himself and research his resources (there are plenty out there)
contact your local legal aid office and find out what he can do.
2007-10-14 09:20:58 · answer #9 · answered by thick and creamy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would think that he would have to give up his paternal rights in order for another man to adopt his children...especially if he has been paying his child support....If he has visitation rights....she is in contempt of court....that would definitely not be in her favor......
He needs to find the money.....get a lawyer and fight for his kids!
2007-10-14 08:25:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋