Do Other Guys have these Issues? If So, What Do You Do?

Question

I do not like the way my wife does the laundry, using softener, folding clothes so that they have to be ironed, putting socks together so that you can't see if they match without undoing them, folding my pants and jeans with creases.

I do not like her eating/cooking habits. She buys frozen dinners, junk stuff, always using hot spices..

House cleaning is another subject. I share the responsibility and am more thorough.

I always race to do my own laundry, am always bringing in food, or doing the shopping and cooking, cleaning. I do a LOT of other things too where she thinks those are her responsibility, doesn't mind doing them. I have told her a few times in the past about 'my' issues where she just gets mad and doesn't talk to me for a few days.

She caught me this morning re-folding my clothes after she just folded them. She was super mad at me.

Should I just take it, wear the clothes, eat the junk, look at the dirt, so that she doesn't get mad at me? No other problems

I have mentioned my issues to her many times in the past, tell her i'll do my own stuff, not to worry about it. It just pisses her off, makes her feel inadequate, but she doesn't change anything either.

when i first met her she was really happy about everything, i'm ex military, had my own home for years, i'm not compulsive, just used to taking care of my things the way i like them, never expected anything from her, like her changing her ways....

Answer 1

Sounds reasonable, if you want it different and are willing to do it yourself.

Sounds like her insecurity, unless you have an attitude of dissatisfaction and criticism.

Perhaps you could really praise the things you love about her. But when it comes to those things you dislike, ask her to "forgive your idiosyncrasies" that you retain from being in the military and please to allow you to do some things yourself. Play it off as your flaw and not hers. Not that it is any flaw at all, you two are just different.

Answer 2

Let me give you some pointers from a woman. It sounds really hard, but it's gotta be give and take with both people. Make stuff like that a time you spend together. Instead of one person being responsible for everything, make it a shared time. Work together to cook a meal, fold laundry together while sharing a conversation, do the grocery shopping together and plan your meals together so it fits both tastes. Take some time every day to do the small chores together, too, like dishes and picking up around the house. It will not only help you both work together to make things bearable, but it will build a bond between you and you might actually look forward to the time you spend together doing these things. Talk to your wife about doing this or just one day start doing it without even bringing up the subject. Maybe it's what she wants, too. Good luck and I hope you guys work this out so you can BOTH be happy!

Answer 3

Since this is your wife and not your girlfriend, you can try this:

Don't ever show her that you are upset...you can't be upset with the woman you love, right? Of course she's going to do something that you don't like, so you make an attempt to get her to change patterns in the most calm, courteous and gentle way. Continue with what you are doing. You start doing things the way you want them done, like the socks and shirts unfolding, then when she "gets into that mode" on you, then you just smile and be politely sarcastic with whatever she says, like you don't know what she's talking about. If you confuse her, that's a good thing. Kid around with her, to see how she takes It. You're looking for her reaction, If she gives you any. After several weeks of doing this, she might decide to just altogether let you do the things that she's terrible at! You got nothing to lose, and It sure beats the heartaches of the doing the big "D!"

Answer 4

Why don't you do those things instead. Then things will be "JUST PERFECT." Other than the food, it sounds like you have some REALLY silly hang ups about your wife dude.

You should be more worried about her cheating on you, wasting every dime the two of you earn or becoming overweight or underweight.

Sounds like you have a good woman and one that will walk away from you if you aren't careful.

Answer 5

Woah, you sound like my Dad! He is very particular about his stuff. That is okay, he has a right to be. Don't know what to tell you about your wife if she gets upset when you do it yourself, most women would be ever so happy to have their husband help out around the house!

Answer 6

Since you ignored the obvious signs of her "deficiencies" before you married her, I guess you are stuck with her. Just keep doing what you are. Keep taking the initiative.

Also, work some more on your ability to be honest with yourself. You may then find where the problems really are.

Good luck.

Answer 7

You just need to get over it, if there are no other problems as you say, then be happy she does it. You sound a bit anal-retentive and need to get over yourself. I would see your "re-doing" things she has done and nitpicking the way she does things the same way I would your saying "You don't cook like Mommy." That would be highly insulting. She has her ways of doing things, if you don't like it, get over it. There are other much more important things to worry about. Like they say, "don't sweat the small stuff..... and it's ALL small stuff."

Answer 8

LOL.. if u dont like the way she did, then just tell her.. from now on, u can do all the house work.. she can go to shopping..
what do u think..lol????. ..

Answer 9

people have there own ways of doing things, think of it like this she could do nothing? shes at least trying.

Answer 10

it happens...
people have their ways of doin things....
you two should talk and if she can change some things and you some others you ll be fine.... compromise a little....both off you.... and if you can t......there are other ways....(the frozen food part killed me though.....betr shoot me!!)