We stated out as friends
We’ll make I to the end
But then I fell for you
And you broke my heart in two
I saw you kissing him
And now I have no whim.
To keep living
Became such a hard thing
But what I want to be
Is your one and only.
No, matter how much I got to pay
I’ll love you all the way.
My heart breaks in half when I see you kissing
And now I know you is all I’m missing.
I don’t want revenge
And I don’t want amend.
Now I’m sitting here
And my heart full of fear.
I don’t know what to do
I haven’t got a clue.
But now I’ll take a shot
With all I got.
I’ll say I love you
And write this poem for you
And hopefully that’s all I got to do
2007-10-14 06:40:44 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
omg thats an amazing poem i cant believe you wrote that well if i was that girl and you gave that to me i'd be like crying (happy tears) =]
2007-10-14 06:44:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like the plot because many peole can relate to it. However I do not like the following:
That you said broke my heart in two because that is used a lot in poems and this one should be original.
I also do not the ending two lines: And write this poem for you and hopefully thats all I got to do. I dont like it because I'll say I love you is so simple yet so powerful. Its a great ending and it sounds a little too much extra.
2007-10-14 13:50:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to always rhyme in a poem <3
2007-10-14 13:44:15 · answer #3 · answered by xxfun2lovexx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you in 9th std ? I wrote such poems when I was in 9th and I wrote even when I had no crush .Everybody , including, myself was sick of my love ballads ! But my attempts on poems on Wars were appreciated , or may I say tolerated !
2007-10-14 13:45:26 · answer #4 · answered by HimJoy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's really nice. You should start like a poem book or something cuz that's really good. =)
2007-10-14 13:46:31 · answer #5 · answered by Animals2223 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely heartfelt.
2007-10-14 13:45:22 · answer #6 · answered by TX Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's good but revised some words on the 2nd line
2007-10-14 13:44:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that's a good poem. I like it.
2007-10-14 13:44:11 · answer #8 · answered by VWJ05 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nice, sounds like whats going on im my head CONSTANTLY...well maybe not but still nice work, publish it.
2007-10-14 13:44:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That poem is beautiful. Sad but beautiful!!!
2007-10-14 13:44:42 · answer #10 · answered by That girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋