I was reading through some psychology articles (personality patterns etc) and stumbled across one that sounded exactly like my ex boyfriend. I anonymously emailed it to him this is what i wrote:
RE: its a bit long(the article), but it might be of some help, or at least an insightful read
and the email message was: "this isn't an attack on you.."
I also attached the article. I honestly, sincerely only meant to help, but now i'm worried that i did the wrong thing. What do you think?
2007-10-14 06:37:28 · 7 answers · asked by ambience212 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It depends. I'm sure you felt that you were doing the right thing at the time, and IMO you're completely justified in trying to help an ex with their psychological problems, but you never know how someone will react to a suggestion that they're "different" or disturbed.
For now, I wouldn't worry about it - you're trying to do the right thing by helping this person, and you won't know what his reaction will be (it could be anything from deeply insulted to immensely grateful!) until he responds.
2007-10-14 06:52:39 · answer #1 · answered by Tunesmith 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's difficult to say with precision whether your attempt at "helping" your ex was right or not, because a good deal of determining the rightness of that gesture depends upon how he typically handles unsolicited advice. Some folks accept things of this nature in the spirit in which it is intended, while others read any number of personal attacks into the gesture. (The anonymity angle was a nice touch as far as it went, but if he's accustomed to your writing style it's easy enough to figure out its source through your verbage). Still others dismiss anything said to them at all times because they resent the presumptuousness of being analyzed by lay-psychologists.
Ultimately I think your heart was in the right place or you probably wouldn't be bothered with second-guessing that decision, but personally I would much rather not be critiqued by an ex...anonymously or otherwise.
2007-10-14 13:58:52 · answer #2 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can attack , thats Ok , people have a built in defence mechonism that kicks when you hit close to home , it's hard to penitrate , the less the attack the more likely it will be heard , gentle words are more easily heard , shout and they'll shout you down
2007-10-14 14:10:04 · answer #3 · answered by darkcloud 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I would write to you: "Your question is not stupid", you first response would probably be: "Does he mean that, or is he saying that it is stupid?"
If would get an anonimous article in my mailbox I would be upset, and ask: "Who is this? Why so indirect and secretive?
It says that it isn't an attack, but it probably is."
I would hardly check whether the article could be useful for me".
For me it would be the wrong way to "help" me.
2007-10-14 13:53:17 · answer #4 · answered by rruloff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh pleese...Save the Little Miss Innocent bit for daddy.
"I sent my ex an article that explained why he is a rat. But I wasn't trying to hurt him. I just wanted to help."
Yeah, right.
Don't sweat it. As he is your ex-he won't care what you thinks.
Only girls fret over exes.
2007-10-14 15:30:33 · answer #5 · answered by Joseph G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont see anything bad in this its ok to want to know something and find something out but if it gets out of control then you might need to cut off and quit
2007-10-14 13:59:59 · answer #6 · answered by loverofChrist 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should have just given it to him-- but since he is an ex-- oh well
2007-10-14 13:53:04 · answer #7 · answered by Sweety_8513(Brooke H) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋