Brainstorming thoughts:
So first I have this idea of doing an essay based on how
I went to 4 different schools breaking statistics on how a young black lady presents herself and helping many young ladies with self-esteem issues and things of that sort.
The other is pointing out a personal hardship I went through. That being sophomore year when my close uncle was diagnosed with HIV on Thanksgiving and a week later my aunt being diagnosed with breast cancer. I would explain how this took a toll on me first for the worst. How I went into a depression state and my GPA dropping tremendously. Then explain as time went on this problem increased my relationship with God and how it made me a stronger person and able to deal with the next challenge of close family having cancer the next year. I will also explain the accomplishment I had on bringing my grades up the semester and next year. I went from a 2.3 to 3.0 to a 3.7 GPA
2007-10-14 05:12:03 · 8 answers · asked by classymst08 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Higher Education (University +)
I apologize I was rushing to put this up here so I can get some feedback and didn't spell which and college right. No need to get sarcastic
2007-10-14 05:48:02 · update #1
I would focus on the positive and not the negative. With the hardship it almost sounds like you're trying to make excuses for your GPA drop. It's impressive that you recovered, but try to focus on the positive and the leadership skills.
Colleges get the hardship essay 9/10. It's easy to write as to what went wrong in your life and how you corrected it. Don't make excuses--it's not going to impress anyone, even if it is quite a story.
It's not so easy to say how you inspired others and have become the person you are today. You can even use a bit of your hardship experience to be the reason why you inspired people.
Example: " On Thanksgiving, the day meant to focus on being humble and thankful, my uncle was diagnosed with HIV, and only a week later my aunt followed with a diagnosis of breast cancer. As I watched my loved ones sucuumb to depression and hopelessness (don't know if that's true or not...sorry), like so many others out there, I knew that I could be their strength and their support."
2007-10-14 05:15:40 · answer #1 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the second idea is stronger, because while the first is admirable, everything you say will be based upon your own assessment of what you did, while in the second, you have the hard evidence of your grades to back up what you are saying. I also don't think that talking about your relationship with God will hurt you, even if the person reading the essay isn't religious. I can't imagine an admissions officer who would look down on you just because s/he doesn't share your beliefs, especially since you are saying that the relationship with God helped you to do things, rather than saying that you relied on God to do everything for you (I'm not Christian or religious, but I would recognize that you have every right to your own belief set and I have to respect you for living it).
2007-10-14 05:44:00 · answer #2 · answered by neniaf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well even tho some people told you to pick water cycle because alot of people are going to do the global warming.... who cares how many people do it,,.... i still say you sould pick GLOBAL WARMING because its a metter that is much more important and so with that said and knowing that alot of people are going to do it too just make sure you know your stuff and use hard facts dont put down bullshit comments and other crappy stuff like that.. .... use the people opinions go out and ask different people opinions, your teachers also get a part in the essay the quotes other opinions not just your and i does not matter if their is different than your because that gives great debating subjects you know.... and by doing that your essay will stand out from the otherss........ good luck and if you need any more help you know where to get it
2016-05-22 10:24:21 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My topic would be "Perseverance" and beating the odds. How taking one obstacle at a time and reaching deep within to reach your goals. Highlighting the small steps it takes in the journey of life.
A journey of a 1000 miles starts with the first step!
2007-10-14 05:16:53 · answer #4 · answered by Vernita S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would do the first one. It is AWSOME that you are a Christian, but what if the person grading your essay isn't? It could really drop your grade. I hate how the world is like that.
2007-10-14 05:16:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
pointing out the personal hardship you went thru because it shows how u developed as a person. and i made ur gpa rise and it shows that u are a hardworking and dedicated person
2007-10-14 05:15:04 · answer #6 · answered by samantha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
english
2007-10-14 05:26:31 · answer #7 · answered by lsamplawski 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi,
take a look at this: http://www.ielts-exam.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=section&id=7&Itemid=69
2007-10-17 21:40:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋