My ex and I split almost two years ago after a fairly long releationship. Other than to followup with her about financial matters that needed to be resolved - I have pretty much left her alone.
The last time we talked (via email), she told me she was moving into a new house and had a new boyfriend. To me... I figured whatever chance I thought I might have ever had of getting back with her, at this point was now gone. (Yes, I still have very strong feelings for her).
So... just out of the blue... she's emailed me a couple of times, in the last month, just to say "Hi" and ask how my family is and how I am doing in school? (and she never signs it....)
She's freaking me out because I don't know if she is interested in rekindling the old flame or just being nice.
I've played all of the "what if?" games in my head a million times, but I still come full circle to the belief that if she was truly happy... why would she even bother with staying in contact with me?
Some of my lady co-workers tell me to just answer her questions and don't add anything. That way (supposedly) I'll know if she's just fishing, or really serious. (which I have done) But, there's that part of me that wants to send an email back and just ask her how she is and what's going on in her life. But on the other hand, I don't want to appear to her as needy and give her the impression that "Oh yea, I could get him back anytime"
So ladies... what do you think I should do?
Thanks in advance for any advice/comments!
-R
2007-10-14 03:53:20 · 12 answers · asked by Ronnie B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she isn't as happy as u think she is, and has had plenty of time to rethink her life, and sees that perhaps she was at her happiest with u, but since she told u she was with someone else, she doesn't want to appear needy so she asked silly questions about school and family, because she can't just start it out by telling u what is really on her mind. seems if she is contacting u, that she may miss u, i can't think of any reason why a truly happy woman would contact an ex unless she wanted him back.
2007-10-14 04:03:05 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
as a matter of courtesy, just get back to her with a neutral tone as a friend. Whether you two will get back together is something in the future, at the meantime, treat her as an ordinary friend. It paves the way for a friendship or a relationship.
The first email is probably the most difficult one, but when you know what is the comfort zone between you two (via email communication), you will be able to respond more naturally.
If, one of you wanted to rekindle the flame, you will notice that later on. It gives you sometime to consider your options.
Why she wanted to keep in touch? well some girls like to keep relationship with people who admired her. I guess if you didn't break up in a hurtful way, there is always a chance for her to love you again. She may also realise how much she thought of you (not necessarily in love with you) - it always happens to couples few months after a peaceful breakup.
Even if she is fishing, be a gentleman and forgive her.
Good luck and take care.
2007-10-14 04:15:45 · answer #2 · answered by Ruth 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained! Why are you scared? Life is about living... having fun... being in love! Take a chance instead of wondering. If this has gone on for a while, then there is a reason behind it. If you cannot bear to have your heart broken then you are not living. The soul needs both love & hurt to grow. People deserve second chances & as long as you have learned something by the way things went before & vow never to go back into old patterns that never changed, then I say - go for it! Live life! and LOVE!
2007-10-14 04:04:25 · answer #3 · answered by T. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't add anything emotional to the email answers; she may just be thinking about you as a friend and wondering how you are doing. Now asking a friend how she is doing and what is going on in their life is a normal question; see nothing wrong with that.
2007-10-14 04:28:13 · answer #4 · answered by pussycat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I too agree with your co-workers and with the first three ladies that responded here. Just do the basics - answer the questions and keep it simple. Be courteous but not curt. Polite but not cold. Don't be coy and don't play games. Your objective is simply to make her show her hand. She will soon enough.
Hannah J Paul
2007-10-14 04:11:11 · answer #5 · answered by Hannah J Paul 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she wants you back!!! i still think about my ex sometimes. I think about emailing him on his birthday just to say "hi" also. i think that if she was over this, she would not want anything to do with you maybe on occasions such as your birthday or christmas. but if it came up out of the blue with the emails just to say "hi", she's into you. but play it cool b/c like you said you do not want to come off looking needy and vulnerable. play it cool. send back emails but don't get into it too much, let it play out but be cool about it. I think you should send emails back, but talk about other stuff like how shes doing, don't ever talk about the relationship you once had unless she brings it up. and even though she brings it up, delve in and delve out right beck, or else she's got you right where she wants you. trust me, im a girl and I play these littlie tricks also. But at the end of the day, you still have strong feelings for her, don't be a donkey hole about it, be nice and cool.
2007-10-14 04:25:44 · answer #6 · answered by bambamm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, ask him. Ask what ever occurred with that pal he was asked to help out with migration stuff. Ask him if his ex ever acquired in contact with him once more about that. Ask him the way it works for those who support any person out with things like migration.(what did SHE ask HIM to do?) on the grounds that you are not asking principally about HER he should be capable to answer you and explain. If he doesnt wish to talk about some thing , well, would be nothing wrong
2016-08-05 21:07:57 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ohh, why did you split up?
I agree with your co-workers, you should just answer her questions out of politeness. You will see in no time, why shes asking you. She wont hold it for long, if she has other intentions with u.
Give her time, let her be for now.
2007-10-14 04:01:17 · answer #8 · answered by Meloa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be nice and cordial.....Your ex could be doing the same...or perhaps things are not going so great with her "new boyfriend" and is trying very methodically to get back into your life.....
2007-10-14 04:00:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
E-mail back your answers everyone is fine...How are you? Don't give her any personal information about having or not having a girlfriend. Just keep it on the up and up....Friends only
2007-10-14 03:59:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋