Need some honesty please. I'm 30, we have 4 small children. Husband used to have great paying job, but a lot of stuff happened, and we moved back home anyway, so now the job he has is just above min. wage. He has got good raises, and he seems comfortable with it, but it's a convienient store. My opinion, you can't support a family working at the local 7-11. He gets angry if I mention finding a better job with insurance. I have my associates degree and currently work retail. Been stay home mom for 6 years ( I was able to) but it's hard for me to find something. I look everyday though. I want something better. I'm looking into banking. I try to explain to him that we will never be comfortable financially. I can't afford to give my kids money for the book fair, buy their school pictures, buy new clothes, have to budget for 2 months to afford winter jackets. He feels we'll be fine once we catch up with bills. Well, there will still be no money for anything other than bills.
2007-10-14 03:04:28 · 7 answers · asked by trcyddy 2 in Business & Finance ➔ Personal Finance
We have food stamps and medicaid for the kids, so that's one less worry. I have no problem with that. Except that I want to make things better so as not get stuck in the system and have to always have it to provide food for my family.
I am not a material person, I do shop goodwill, yard sales, etc. Even if I was a millionaire, I still would. I love good deals, and would rather buy something used for a great price than new for outrageous prices.
My associates is Business administration. I am currently looking into a relationship banker job opening. Just need to make my resume look a little better.
He lost the good job due to alcohol. Fine now, but we live in a small town and WV and good jobs are hard to come by. Especially if you have no degree or experience.
2007-10-14 03:55:15 · update #1
You are right, and no most men don't feel that way. When the kids get older and become more aware of social castes and not getting things their friends have, being teased for it, they will be very unhappy with the home financial situation, which will cause stress in the household. I can relate to your frustration though, because my father was a truck driver, and never really made a lot of money. My mom, however, is a Nurse, with a Master's Degree, so she always made very good money. Have you tried temporary agencies? Often, if you can get in at a company on a trial basis, prove you're a good worker, they often will hire you for more than the agency pays you, that was how I got started.
It sounds like your husband either really likes what he does, or really doesn't want to deal with the psychological aspect of job hunting: rejection, stress about interviews, etc. Depression could also be a factor. That's probably not helpful, but it might trigger a different way for you to discuss this with him that might not get his defenses up.
Good luck!
2007-10-14 03:17:20 · answer #1 · answered by jedimorgana 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why he lost the good paying job is open to interpretation here since now he works minimum wage. For the sake of the children, they may be eligible for health care and food stamps, so apply. Leave pride out of it. Care for your kids.
As for a job for you, you don't mention what your associate's is in but since you are in retail, I'll assume it has something to do with that. Prepare a resume and look for jobs you qualify for. Check with the local county or state governent to see if there are any tests you can take for employment, even if they are not what you have your degree in. Apply for those tests, take them and get your background checks done. It will take time, but as long as you are on a list, you have an opportunity for a job with benefits.
Consider what your skills are aside from retail. Perhaps you can sell real estate or manage a supermarket. Either way, good luck.
2007-10-14 10:13:45 · answer #2 · answered by Tellin' U Da Truth! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be assertive in telling him you are legitimately concerned and tell him to start thinking of the children and the implications that this will have on them for the future.
Ask him why he wants to stay at his current job and then try to let him know that his reasons are legit but another job can provide something positive for him too. Tell him he has options and a lot of employers would be happy to hire him. He may just feel really burned from not having a high-paying job anymore.
Suggest different ways he can go about looking for work. Maybe he just simply doesn't know where to start. Maybe help him work on his resume and set up appointments at different employment agencies.
2007-10-14 10:18:47 · answer #3 · answered by •ºJen•º 1 · 1⤊ 3⤋
He may not have the best job in the world, but at least he is working and trying to support you and the kids. He's not a dead beat. Welcome to the real world. There are ALOT of families who have to budget to buy things. I am one of those families. Do you insist on everything being new? You can save $$$ by buying gently used clothing and going to yard sales, etc for stuff you need or want. You can cut back in other ways too. As far as school pictures go, buy the cheapest package and then get copies someplace. You don't have to buy the most expensive package just to get enough pictures. Once you get caught up on your bills maybe then you will have more money for other things. I go to alot of yard sales, flea markets, etc, to get stuff we want or need. I also buy store brand items as opposed to name brand. Just as good most of the time, but cheaper.
2007-10-14 10:29:24 · answer #4 · answered by dalbax2 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
No all husbands/fathers are that way. It sounds like he has some issues and is using the 'comfortable' easy job so he doesn't have to face them. It sounds like some counseling may help. Talk to your local minister/priest and see if he/she can assist. Good luck!
2007-10-14 10:12:14 · answer #5 · answered by magnolia 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, do all husbands, fathers feel this way?
No, This answer applies to ANY additional information you supply.
As I read your additional information, this guy is NOT a father in any sense beyond biology. He sounds more like a 30 year old CHILD than a husband.
2007-10-14 11:58:16 · answer #6 · answered by STEVEN F 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
An increase in minimum wage would fix that. The eternal dilemna: when people make new babies. The fairness of celibacy, even married celibacy vs more traditional married life; and many don't believe in birth control-of course that shouldn't mean all sex should create new babies. Rely on the truthful intuition of others in positions of charital authority.
2007-10-14 10:17:39 · answer #7 · answered by isis 4 · 0⤊ 5⤋