We were out with some friends watching football yesterday, and at halftime, I began surfing the net on his iphone. I was looking at youtube to find a certain video, clicked on his history (cause I knew he had watched the video recently), and found at least 6 xxx videos he had watched. So, not to cause a scene, I left and watched the rest of the game at home. I have not confronted him about it yet, as friends came over last night, and I did not want to ruin his good time. Although, he knew I was upset over something.
It makes me feel like I am not good enough. Right now, I am 16 weeks pregnant with our 1st baby and we have only had sex about once every 2 weeks, as I have been so tired. My body has only changed in the fact I have larger breasts and I have gained 3 lbs. I am already freaking about how unsexy I will look....but I have still continued running 3-4 times weekly and lifting 2x a week--I even ran a 5k yesterday. So, is it about me? Should I talk to him about it?
2007-10-14
02:42:29
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21 answers
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asked by
fitgalmel1
2
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
No please dont worry about how unsexy you think you may be
Your husband loves you the way you are
Do not try change
It is completely fine if he feels he has to watch porn
Its just the way men are
Please put this out of your mind =] and hope all goes well in the birth of your child =]
2007-10-14 02:47:31
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answer #1
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answered by Hanarr x] 4
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2016-07-19 22:10:47
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answer #2
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answered by Sherry 3
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*hugs* I can feel for you.
I'm pregnant and having marriage problems due to the net as well.
As for porn it doesn't bother me, as long as he is at home looking at it and not talking to other women or requesting pictures from women (which is my problem) its fine and since I've not felt like sex lately the porn well it might be a feel in but only till I start feeling better.
What I've done was sent my husband an email (an email b/c my daughter and three of her friends have been here all weekend and there is no reason to fight in front of the kids) about it and even though he hasn't read it yet, I felt a million times better. .. Not sure what will happen when he reads it b/c I did go into his myspace, but I had my reasons to. Anyway I suggest talking to him about it.
Also this has nothing to do with it but did you doctor tell you it was okay to be exercising so much. I was told by my doctor to not run or do anything high impact.
Good luck.
2007-10-14 03:20:13
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answer #3
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answered by his wife 4
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ok i would say educate yourself, and educate him on the following: Alright, so I want to tell you that its helpful for you to recognize when you come across potentially phenomenal information, so you don't overlook empowering knowledge. You are lucky to get this info. Many people are hurting silently, so mention the true Nature of the Problem (below) & the Website (Mentioned after my answer, includes numerous Youtube videos to be watched in order). I used to be intensely into watching porn, and I overcame it. If I can, anyone can overcome it. Nature of Problem: Manipulation of the mind through trickery: Various sexual presentations expose the viewer to numerous impactful mind altering manipulations. The viewer having little to no chance to defend themselves is virtually powerless against these intrusions. The viewer is delivered a powerful mental high, which is experienced as a powerful sexual high. The book a) Reveals the Manipulations, b) Explaining How the Mind Works, 3) Details How to Nullify the Tricks & Free the Mind from these cunning deceptions.
2016-05-22 09:27:32
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answer #4
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answered by ? 3
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Due to your pregnant situation, I advise that you don't stress yourself too much because of the baby. If you and your husband have a very loving relationship, you should kindly ask him about why he is watching porn. Tell him that you are not comfortable with it.
Watching porn is an addictive bad habit. It could lead a person into many acts of perversion. It could lead to unfaithfulness in a relationship. For those that say that it is ok, its only but a matter of time before the heinous repercussions will begin to manifest.
I am of the opinion that you have a heart-to-heart discussion with your husband and air your opinion about what you found on his phone. Tell him how you feel and ask him lovingly why he is into it. Resolve and relate, relate and resolve. Don't throw a tantrum, let the discussion be loving and peaceful. I wish you all the best.
2007-10-14 03:12:50
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answer #5
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answered by OGB 2
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I feel this way sometimes too. I am not against porn. My husband and I have watched it together. No big deal. What does bother me is when my husband turns to porn instead of me. He doesn't seem to understand this. He thinks I should be all for or against porn. I have a feeling my hubby uses porn because he gets too lazy sometimes to do what needs to be done to make sure I enjoy the sex also. That is what ticks me off. Hubby said he doesn't try to hide it, but he erases history and the like after viewing on the computer. I know men like variety, but when viewing is done to cover their own needs and leaves the partner out, I look at it as selfishness. Don't beat yourself up over your appearance...that is not what this is all about. I am sure your man has probably changed a little over the years and is not the 18 year old stud he once was.
The only way to clear this up is talk. You have motivated me to chat with my hubby today...I am going to tell hubby that I don't mind that he looks at porn, but he has to be willing to do what I need in order to be fulfilled also or I am pulling the plug! Good luck to you!
2007-10-14 03:00:11
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answer #6
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answered by Really now 4
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It has nothing to do with you! I let my fiance watch porn all the time, and it has not affected our sex life. (And I know he's not thinking of someone else...) Pregnancy often triggers these types of emotions, so don't feel guilty about your changing body. I'm sure he doesn't mind, otherwise he wouldn't have sex with you at all. And don't push yourself to the limit to stay in shape. Exercise often, but not too much as it can put a strain on your body and your unborn child.
Don't take it to heart. When you talk to him about it, don't "confront" him. Just ask him casually. "Honey, do you really need to watch all that porn in one sitting?" Make it funny and light-hearted, and you'll get an answer.
Good luck, and congrats!
2007-10-14 02:51:25
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answer #7
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answered by Stephy B. 3
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The fact that you are writing this shows that this is a legitimate problem and that your fears are warrented. This is about respect and you should confront him because it is bothering you. He is infact looking at other women. Ask yourself how much he would like it if you were watching raunchy videos with men in them? It would probably make him feel as sexually inadequate.
My advice to you would be to confront him calmly when you are collected and tell him how it makes u feel. If he respects you that he should understand.
The excuse that men are men and somehow their sexual appetite is natural is just not a good enough excuse.
Good luck! I'm sure he will respect you enough to stop.
2007-10-14 02:55:03
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answer #8
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answered by •ºJen•º 1
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if your husband is looking at porn, he is no different from most men in the world.. it doesn't have anything to do with YOU as a woman or wife. men are visual creatures and they like looking.
if he is doing it all the time, then it can be a problem, but if he isn't then i wouldn't worry.
take care of your pregnant body, and please don't do anything which would jeopardize your pregnancy... talk to the doctor if you aren't sure of what you can do. normally, when a person is active as you are at the onset of pregnancy, it's ok to continue.
NO it's not about you. Please don't be jealous or worried over some dumb videos and pictures.
you are NOT unsexy, either.
sending hugs
2007-10-14 02:59:48
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answer #9
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answered by letterstoheather 7
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No,no it's not about you, I promise...I am sure he loves you and still finds you very sexy, I found my wife sexy when she was pregnant. when I was younger my wife thought she was not good enough when I looked at porn. I told her they was just pic, I only wanted her..I just liked to look, I don't really look at pic that much anymore but what I love is about once a month or so the wife comes up to me and says hey want to watch a dirty movie..and we do together and we both get super horny...Just be honest and talk to him, Thats what helps make a marriage work, is communication and honesty...ok
2007-10-14 03:08:36
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answer #10
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answered by hononegah1988 4
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