Why are we drawn to the questions that make us recount bad times?

Question

You know those questions that bring up memories of abuse, or dark period in our lives, the ones that cause us grief. Is it that we are trying to reach out to another human being? To share those times that we can't get out of our head? Or are we trying to remind ourselves that no matter how bad it was for us, someone else had it worse? What do you think?

Answer 1

A person can't keep everything inside. Everyone needs to speak out, whether about good periods of life and even more about bad peripds of life. We need to share our tragedies, to find out if someone else has such an experience as we.
Even in psychology, psychoanalyst tell his patients to speak out, if a pesron can't do that, they even use hypnosis to treat. Speaking about your problems helps you to feel better and to take a little easy your problems. If you keep everything inside you will soon get very nervous, you will think only about that thing.

Answer 2

Yes, maybe it's the old cliche - misery loves company.
Also, maybe it's a kind of catharsis - a release, a purging.
Also, it can be a way of connecting - of feeling we are not alone in whatever we went through.
Or maybe it can be a way of understanding - getting a new perspective on our situations.

However, I think people are also drawn to questions about the good times as well.

Answer 3

We find comfort in empathizing with others who have had similar experiences. As with support groups, there is less pain when the experience is shared.

We might feel that some good has resulted from our pain in that we are able to help another.

And finally, you are right: indeed, we are trying to believe that others have it worse, while perhaps trying to keep this motive hidden, possibly even from our own conscience.

Answer 4

I think it is a matter of finding someone else who has had a similar experience, so we don't feel so alone. I think it helps to know that others have shared these feelings, and we can share ours. I'm no phsycologist, but these are my feelings. I can more easily relate to something in your life that I may have experienced in my own.

Answer 5

i have wondered about this too and i have a tendency to rehash bad stuff and have to constantly remind myself of the good too. although, i would not say i am a negative person - i just think when i'm hurt i'm very hurt.

i think we are drawn to the negative experiences as a sort of evolutionary defence mechanism. we have to really remember the negative and how to avoid it in order to survive.