This is my plan. I'm 24 now. I've had a few little "flings" in my life, dated around and had one BIG relationship that lasted nearly 4 yrs.
In recent yrs tho, I have found myself up a brick wall with the guys I tend to meet.
No, really... they drive me crazy. All they want is sex and I mean sex only. Don't get me wrong, I'm quite the tiggress once settled & happy but... I am just not into random sex.
Well, I have set it in my mind that when I reach bout 28-34 if I haven't found someone suitable & serious, I'm going to save up, get well settled, find a good doc and do Artificial Insemanation.
I just don't want to go my whole life without having at least 1 child.
I'll take him/her to museums & librarys & art galleries & broadway shows. Make sure he or she will get THE best in education & life.
Oppz! Was I going off into dream land there for a moment?
My question is, what is the risk and drawbacks i'm not seeing? Only an outsider can answer this. I'm too involved maybe to see.
2007-10-14 02:17:36 · 8 answers · asked by Virgo's Eternal Reign 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
Why is it when u ask a simple question on here ppl insist on being rude?
I DO want a husband in my life & a Father figure for my child.
I thought that I had made it clear that I just can't find the right kinda guy.
I DON'T think of men as just sperm.
lol... I didnt say anything bout picking the hottest one or lining up the pictures of them like a herd of cattle to make my choice.
I simply asked for advice, KIND advice and of course...I should of known I'd get my head bit off.
Give me your opinion but don't act like a big beast about.
Its not an easy thing to decide...why do you think I even asked?
I WANT different points of view and your insight but please.... if you want me to listen to you and take you seriously....be a bit kinder and calm down.
Just because you stubbed your toe this morning or ran into a wall doesn't give you the right to take it out on me.
lol
I'm sorry, but it doesn't.
So... just chill... pop ya a pill, have a cup of tea. Do something just chill out.
2007-10-14 02:35:33 · update #1
I think it is a great thing. The drawbacks are that the child wouldn't have a daddy, which is important. It isn't neccessary but it could cause the child some pain... all children desire two parents especially when they see other children who have two parents.
But I don't think it is a bad thing at all!
Keep looking for someone. You can go to singles parties and go on blind dates. Don't be so picky that no one can please you.
2007-10-14 03:02:07 · answer #1 · answered by ϑennaß 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, I'm not against sperm donation or AI, however, I believe it should be used for those couples that have been trying for a long time and CAN'T conceive. Or for those that simple don't have the physical ability to conceive. I think you're young, and you have a lot of time to find the right guy. And I agree with the idea that if you're relationships are all ending up with the same kind of losers, then you may be advertising yourself the wrong way.
You stated you're going to save up for the AI. Who's going to donate the sperm? Have you thought ahead about how you're going to afford to raise the child? Going to museums, art galleries, and broadway shows cost a lot of money. Plus putting away money every month for a college education... all on top of monthly living expenses. That adds up. Things don't always go as planned. What if these things aren't affordable for you...... are you going to give up? These are all things to think about. I'm not downing you, or raining on your parade.
Children wonder where they came from. I was raised by my two adoptive parents, I knew my biological mother, but not my father. I always wondered where I came from. How are you going to explain that? A turkey bastor? Or will it be an open relationship where he/she knows the sperm donor? Is it going to be pre-arranged? If not, then you're going to have to live with constantly shielding him/her from your future relationships. You won't want to let them get too close from fear of getting hurt in case it doesn't work out again. These are all things you need to consider before just going out and getting this done b/c you're scared of having a child at an old age. Life doesn't end at 34. A lot of women have children later in life. You may want to consider waiting until the time is really right, and you're really with someone that matters.
2007-10-14 11:04:37 · answer #2 · answered by Crystal D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive got nothing against sperm donation nor artificial insemination.. but who would you ask to donate?isnt the whole process too complicated? from a viewpoint of someone who was raised without a dad..your child would always look for one and ask you when she grows up.. you might be able to give her everything but can you complete her?what would your answer be when that time comes. but well if you really opt to go for this procedure, based from the books we read in med school there is about 80-90 percent probability that you would conceive, it is usually hard to get pregnant with this method because of the short life span of the sperm and because of the environment involved..well the best of luck you still have a few years i hope youd be able to find the man for you!
2007-10-14 09:27:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Traditional society knew how to handle these issues.
This is where religious nuts have an advantage. The guys know they are SUPPOSED to start a family. The gals know where to find the guys who know they are supposed to start a family.
I grew up in a traditional family. My Dad eked out a living in the Depression. He served in WWII and resumed his college education on the GI Bill.
We didn't go to Broadway shows, museums or libraries.
Believe me when I say I seriously don't give a S*** about any of that stuff.
I must have missed out on a lot of stuff you consider important, but I think it is all pitiful drivel.
Next time you go to a museum, imagine that everyone you see is superficial, shallow, and living meaningless lives because they didn't grow up in a traditional 2-parent family.
2007-10-14 10:05:48 · answer #4 · answered by tolstoi1 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Iam more concerned with the fact that you're dating repeats of the same man, ending up with the same result, and convinced that thats all the world has to offer.
If you're dating is resulting in the same thing each time, its because you're advertising for the wrong kind of man, and finding the wrong kind of man by looking in the wrong place.
Beyond that, an inability to commit to someone is not a good sign, especially for someone who wants to tie themselves to a child. If you cannot commit to someone and love them by choice, you certainly wont do it because you have to. Having kids isnt about fun times at the park and museum. Kids dont always like what you want to share with them, and then what? Then your stuck with a child you thought you'd love because you wanted them, but instead you're realizing you have ot be the PARENT,
Children need certain things to be well rounded and well grounded and confident in themselves. You provide what a child needs because you're living for the child, not because its something you feel like doing. Kids need two parents, YOU need a partner in raising them. Its how they learn about relationships and their self worth, and how to be healthy adults.
I think you need to put that on the back burner, and focus more on here and now. Here you are, probably in your early 20's, convinced that there are no men worth your time, unwilling to change where and how you find them, and ready already to write them off. Now's the time to change yourself. If you want kids some day you plan for them now. Raising and having kids is about 10% money and housing and things, and 90% mental anguish and endurance, and moulding their personalities and wills. You have to become a person who can do those things, who can have that resolve. And you start by preparing to find and commit to their father.
Sperm banks and AI are great options for many people, but they have to be in the right purpose and context.
2007-10-14 09:29:05 · answer #5 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are only 24. You have plenty of time to find a guy you like. Getting artificially inseminated is about the biggest statement that says "I am a loser" you could ever imagine. Besides, wouldn't your child want to have a father? We actually have more to offer than just sperm...
2007-10-14 09:23:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Sperm donation and egg donation are against my religion. So is surrogacy. Artifical insemination is allowed in my religion as long as it is the husband's sperm and the wife's egg.
2007-10-14 09:31:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is rather selfish of you to bring a human into this world without the benefit of having both parents, or even knowing who the father is.
2007-10-14 09:22:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 4⤋