please help i dont know what to do?

Question

my son is 13months old and no-one can believe how he is behaving, he has just started hitting,biting,grabbing stuff and throwing it, touching plug sockets and tv's he knows all these things are wrong and i know hes doing it for attention but its the disiplin side of things i need help with, i have had so much advise from everyone but nothing works he just laughs and gggles and hits again. he is at nursery 5 days a week so this could be the problem but i just dont know what to do anymore and im also scared he might hurt his self when hes in these moods as he goes crazy theres no calming him down. i have tried everything that you hear on the net,tv and from health visitors, everyone said most one yr olds are not like this. so if anyone out there can tell me something else i can try, i need to do something soon. :)

Answer 1

try speaking to your gp as in my expereince our health visitor have done nothing for us.... our daughter was very much like your son so it isnt un heard of and we actually took it upon our selves to trial and error her food substances etc as well as naughty step/chair etc. i t was getting to the point where she was getting embarrassing with her tantrums then we discoverd tht it was fruit shoots tht were sending her over the edge. so we stopped her from having them. we soon notice the difference if she had the ODD one shes changes like a light switch so now she never has them...best of luck it should get better

Answer 2

Can you take a day off to monitor him at the nursery? Babies are amazing and they learn so fast by imitating others. Maybe the caregivers are not giving all kids enough attention and the older kids are behaving this way. That is why your baby is imitating them. You should talk to the caregiver about it. If it persist, you should change your daycare provider.
The caregivers can't give so much disciplinary actions anyway which would be conflict with the law. The only thing they should do is how to teach all kids and introduce them to good manners like parents.
I believe in positive reinforcement. Tell him no and ignore him for a minute when he does something wrong. When he is behaving, tell him good boy and give him a kiss. That will teach him to learn to behave cause he gets rewarded for it.

Answer 3

Talk to the nursery about how the deal with unacceptable behaviour. It's helpful if you and the nursery deal with it in the same way.

The nursery my daughter goes to gives time outs so we use that method too. If she carries on doing something after being told not to she has to go sit on a step outside the kitchen where she doesn't get any attention for a minute or so.

She's a bit older than your boy and also gets put in her room for repeating bad behaviour occasionally, but he's probably too young for that.

Answer 4

A lot of that sounds like learned behavior. What's happening at the "nursery" are they consistent in their discipline? Or do they laugh when he does stuff like that. Might want to try a different one see if it helps. The other possibility is that he's entering the "terrible twos" early.

There is nothing you can do unless your care provider is consistent in dealing with the issues the same way you do at home. If they are over taxed or unwilling to give the same discipline you do, you are going to send a confusing message to your child.

Additionally things aren't going to improve unless he gets the attention he needs.

If he is getting the attention he needs and consistent discipline and the situation does not improve, you may want to consider seeking professional help.

Good luck

Answer 5

I think it is to do with the nursery he goes to from reading your description. Do you know what food they give him? My friend has her 2 boys in nursery most days, the oldest is 3 & youngest 1.They are wonderful boys but absolubtely crackers, the oldest is uncontrollable, when they've been to our house he runs riot, smashing & banging things, rolling on the floor wrestling with toys & shouting.The younger one is almost as bad himself & she says they've picked it up from nursery. I have no personal experience as im a stay at home mum.Is there no way to cut back your hours & spend more time taking him out just you & him, showing him the world around you, like parks & museums.Point out the most boring things but make them seem fascinating & play on the swings & slides, take him swimming.You may already do this but i find its the only way i cope with my 11 month old who is so full of energy. Also try getting him some soft play mats from toys r us, lay them in your living room & let him go crazy to let off steam, you do it with him & make it fun.
Good luck, i hope you find the answer.

Answer 6

Take your son to a health professional and get him a complete physical, then an intellectual evaluation.
He may be expressing his frustration at not being able to communicate to you want he wants you to hear.
A lot of unusually intelligent kids exhibit this behaviour.
Then go to rewarding good behaviour and punishing bad.
Not smacking but time out in the bedroom and if any noise no dessert.. that type of thing.
Speak to him normally.. kids of that age understand language better than they speak it. Dont think because he can't recite Shakespeare that he can't understand any of it.
I hope this puts a positive spin on obviously a very trying time for you... remember it will all be worth it in the end.

Answer 7

First, take him to the pediatrician. You need to see if there is something physical going on with him. I don't know what it could be, but it's always important to rule out the physical side of things before you think he's being unruly. I knew someone who kept hitting his child because she wouldn't obey. When she was 6 they finally discovered she was deaf!!!!! Obviously these were very poor parents, but it certainly makes a point!

Sometimes at day school kids pick up behaviors. They often have to act up to get attention because there are so many of them. If he has no physical problem, you may want to check out other nursery schools. Maybe he is being mistreated there.

I would also be praying for him. God cares about him and obviously something is stirring him up. Ask God to help you find a solution. Pray and ask God to remove anything that is bothering him. I don't know how anyone can be a parent without needing God's help. It is a huge job to raise a child. Jesus cares about you and your son, ask him to come into your life and help.

Where is your son's father? Is he helping you? If he lives with you, are you guys fighting?(no offense meant) That can really bother a child, sometimes they just react to tension in the home.

As much as possible, try to distract your son rather than yelling of swatting his diaper when he does the wrong thing. Its easy to get into a habit of saying NO 1000 times a day :)

Ask around and find a mother's group. It helps to have other moms to ask questions of and to share the stories of motherhood and its tough times. Also, if you have any older moms around, they can sometimes advise and encourage you. They remember what it was like being a young mom with insecurities and fears.

You are going to be alright. Your son is going to be alright. You will get through this tough time and you'll be smarter and stronger in the end. Be patient with yourself and your baby and hang in there!! :) (: God Bless you both!

Just one more thought, at the library there are books that will help you know what is normal and that will help you with suggestions on how to manage each stage of growth in your baby's life.

Answer 8

Speak to your health visitor, but my four year old recently started school, and as a result has picked up some awful habits after just one month. It is really quite alarming to think all the work I put in to make her poite and well behaved can be spoilt somewhat coz some other people don't give a crap how their kids behave.

Answer 9

my 8months old is the same. i don't know when is the right time to start disciplining. but yesterday i was trying to watch a film with two other people in the room. he was acting the same way as your son. i observed him and concluded that he wanted attention.
i would suggest you observe him. if you are panicky when he acts like that, he maybe is picking that up from you, and thus will act more. its is good to read and get advice. but i have learnt that you learn a lot from yourself and your experience. since you have tried everything form health visitor to books, then the only solution is yourself.
observe him and see what his reaction is when you shout or when you walk away or when you ignore...

Answer 10

I've seen lots of children do these things - mine also did it. I think it's completely normal at sometime or other. Don't stress so much, speak to other parents at the park or nursery and you will find they probably say the same thing. Mine grew out of it as I didn't pay him too much attention when exhibiting this behaviour.