I was told just over a month ago that my partner of nearly 10 years,of who i have 3 children to,had been cheating on me.I was told this by someone who my partner had to sack,(as he was causing trouble at work) This man is a horrible person and a born liar and has threatened us so much after losing his job that we had to involve the police as we were literally in fear of our life!.Which..I know..Theres no way i should believe him about the cheating,and i dont.My partner swore none of it were true,he had put his self in the position of doubt for 1 reason or another but that this man was just trying to cause trouble.However,after having this hanging over me for a month now..did he/didnt he?..i just cant cope.I love my partner dearly and could never face leaving him but im so tired of what this man keeps saying & doing,im making myself ill,i dont trust a word my partner says,i always presume he's lying to me,i cant sleep,im hardly eating a thing,i cant get medication to help as im...
2007-10-13 20:49:54 · 13 answers · asked by mel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
..breastfeeding etc.I cant bare to get close to my partner thinking someone may have been there before me,i darent even walk my child to school as this mans so sick he even threatened my 62yr old mum & 85yr gran!..im so desperately unhappy i feel everything i loved and placed my trust in,(apart from my 3 young girls!) has been blown away and i just dont know how to cope or what to do next,any kind advice????
2007-10-13 20:53:14 · update #1
DONT let this guy ruin your happy marriage and life. If you sort of reached your limits, which ofcourse YEs. Call the police, and tell me them that this guy is threatining us, and we cant get any rest because of his stupid actions. Just do anything to save your life from this loser. DONT ever belive this loser, his aim is to ruin your life . And he probably shows some envy against your partner, thats why, he wants to ruin your partner's life like his. ACT mature and believe your husband, hand by hand heart by heart you can overcome his problem, just by being undersstanding and cooperative. USE your power, I am sure you can do it,,GOOD LUCK dear, hope you can settle down just before thanks giving- :)
2007-10-13 21:02:43 · answer #1 · answered by sunkissedskin 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I guess it's natural to feel the way you do but you are starting to get obsessed.
Has your hubby given you reason to not trust him? I mean are the serious red flags like catching him in major lies or cheating in the past?
Otherwise, the fired guy who you guys have a history of trouble with...this is exactly what he wants to destroy the man who fired him. Remember the book we have to read in college Othello? The best friend was really a jealus enemy that destroyed by putting doubt in peoples heads.
Try natural remedies like some Valerian or try talking to a therapist. Exercise and meditation are always great.
Talk to hubby how it's eating you up and ask for extra cuddle time.
*You yourself said if worst came to worst you can't think about leaving your hubby, so the .1% chance it were true, it is a big karmic lesson in forgiveness. Your hubby sounds pretty decent but we don't know his past with you...
so can't tell if he deserves you thinking he might be guilty or if you have an anxiety problem.
Good luck,
P.S. It really does sound like you got a crazy man trying to destroy your happiness...misery loves company...you got to be the bigger person RATIONALIZE AND LET GOD/THE DIVINE/! Call on your higher power and spirit guides!
2007-10-13 20:58:51 · answer #2 · answered by Lil Blousou 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My question to you would be this. Before that horrid man said anything, did you have any reason to doubt your husband's fidelity? Did you have a "feeling" that something was off in your relationship? Did your husband act differently, treat you differently, work odd hours, and not have the pay match up? If the answer to these questions is no then don't let that wicked man ruin your marriage with doubts.
Did you ever think that that man knew where to hurt your husband the most, to interfere in his marriage, which was the most important thing to him?
Unless you had solid reasons to doubt BEFORE this happened, I would try to get it out of my head by accepting it as the rantings of a disgruntled employee.
2007-10-13 21:34:23 · answer #3 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I am a little confused. You seem to know the answer to this question already. This employee obviously wants to create trouble in your marriage and guess what it is working because you are falling for it. My question to you is why are you believing a crazy man over your husband? Has your husband ever done anything for you to believe that this story could be true? If not you better straighten up before you lose your marraige. My goodness dear do you know what signals you are sending your husband? You are showing him a couple of things: 1. that you do not believe in him and 2. that when things go wierd or wrong that you don't have his back (meaning you do not stand by him). Can you imagine what your husband is going through? You need to stand strong by your man or you will lose him and that crazy employee will claim "VICTORY". Keep focused!!!!!! and EAT something will you. Your husband will need you to stand by him on this one. This is when you and your husband need to become one and send this crazy person to the mental establishment he belongs to!
2007-10-13 21:16:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry. it has to be hard, but considering the source I would just let it go. This will destroy you relationship even if you don't know what to believe. You need to forget about what you were told. Trust in your partner and of course from now on you will notice things more and if you ever have hard evidence then move from that but someone your other fired is most likely causing problems. Just let this go for now anyway.
2007-10-13 20:55:47 · answer #5 · answered by blueeyd_princess 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first trust your partner or your heading to a divorce
second getting a restraining order to get this nut out of your life
third If your partner is a man tell him it's time to be a man and take care of business with this guy. legaly or otherwise
2007-10-13 21:26:35 · answer #6 · answered by Mike C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey!! u poor thing. This is grounds for SUEING that bastard. I am SERIOUS. You need to get straight into counselling with ur husband NOW and document everything u just said, and keep documenting it and show it to a lawyer. This man needs to take responibility 4 what hes done.
2007-10-13 20:56:57 · answer #7 · answered by Renesme 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lady, you need to get over it. Trust your partner or destroy your marriage. Those are your choices. Don't let the crazy man play with your head. If you become obsessed with this you WILL need to talk to someone about it..... pastor, priest, rabbi, etc. They can give you some guidance.
You can decide how you want to live.
2007-10-13 20:55:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
This man only gets away with what you let him. The reaction you have is just what he wanted. You should also get checked for possible post natal depression. There is no reason to mistrust your partner.
2007-10-13 21:03:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
psssh no deal i favor my £10,000 hiya do you imagine there actual is a banker on deal or no deal? or is noel purely speaking on the phone to himself? or something stupid like that
2016-10-09 04:53:21 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋