I was just wondering if people consider it molestation for a 16 year old guy to touch an 11 year old even if she goes along with it but she realizes it wasnt right nd felt ashamed later in life.
2007-10-13 19:55:45 · 30 answers · asked by Alix 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ok for ppl thinkin it s me no im a girl im 15 nd im the 11 year old so pleez stop callin me names im not the guy and actually at 11 ur not always pre pubesant i was an early bloomer i was already in the stages of puberty but the thing is, most of u will think its wrong but my bf now is 20 i met him wen he was 17 but hes still a kid inside nd if u met him ud think hes 16 , gettin off the subject but i thought id inform u
2007-10-13 20:18:08 · update #1
Ok so updating again lol well for the person that told me not to let my bf touch me that ship sailed off a long time ago, i kno its statutory rape weve had sex for awhile now (been with him for over a year) but i dont agree with the statutory laws, and also i dont know if i need counceling cuz it didnt traumatize me much to my knowledge.
2007-10-13 21:09:28 · update #2
Okay ive known that its illegal im just asking if ppl think its so wrong and at 11 u can have a baby i hit puberty wen i turned 11 sorry bout all the updates
2007-10-13 22:07:26 · update #3
Yes. Not just the people but the law as well because there is more than a 4-year difference in age. If it happened within the last 10 years he could be prosecuted.
Edit: OK, if you want to file a complaint, the guy, now 20 would be in trouble. But there are things you should be aware of. The seriousness of the event will swing on whether or not there was vaginal penetration by him, either with part of his body or an object. That would make it a rape. Whether or not you allowed it does not matter. If it was a matter of fondling without penetration it is considered a much less serious matter by the law. Laws often are strange and old fashioned.
You will be asked why you waited so long to tell about it and you motives may be questioned. If he admits to it, no problem. If he denies doing anything then it is your word against his but you will have the emotional advantage with most people (true even if the claim isn't). If you participated in the same sort of activities with other people, and he is aware of it, that will be brought up.
Because it was four years ago, there will be no physical evidence that means anything.
If this is one on those suddenly regained repressed memories, it will probably be disregarded because that has been proven to be a scam in almost all cases, and a lot of innocent people have suffered as a result. In any case your motives will be called into question and he may say that you tried to blackmail him over something that he did not do.
It could get messy if he decides to deny it.
If none of that applies, and you are just looking to mitigate feelings of shame, then as others have said here you should know that there is no shame in what you did. You were too young to know better, it sounds like hormones were probably impacting your thought processes and you had no control over that. It would probably help to talk to an older woman about it if you know of someone who would understand, an older friend or grand parent for example. I can't recommend "professional help" because I doubt the motives and abilities of such people.
2007-10-13 19:59:38 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Yes that is absolutely molestation. It is perfectly natural for an 11 year old to be curious but even so I think you must have been uncomfortable because you mention trying to tell him no. Even if you had been completely into the idea, you were a child. At 16 he should have known better. I don't know how it stands elsewhere (though I am pretty damn sure that it's still considered wrong) but in the UK, sexual contact with a child who is 12 or younger is considered pedophilia, with a kid under the age of 16 it's statutory rape, even if it was 'just' touching. What this boy did was wrong and I am sorry that you had to go through it. I hope you are dealing with it OK now. The important thing to remember is that you were an innocent kid, so it wasn't your fault in any way at all. If you are struggling with this now I would suggest getting yourself some counseling.
2016-05-22 08:24:28 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not about what people think. Legally it WAS molestation for a 16 year old to touch an 11 year old sexually. It is illegal. It is immoral. It is damaging.
An 11 year old never has consensual sex. The older person is always at fault.
At some time you will need to get some help. There are consequences that happen from being molested. It tends to mess up relationships between men and women even when they are grown up. In fact you are proving that right now, your boyfriend is 20 and you're 15, this is still statutory rape. Can't you see you are already repeating the past. A 20 year old guy is supposed to be out of high school and into college or a job. You are still a sophomore in high school. This is wrong. Also I would be totally surprized if there is no sexual activity going on in this relationship. The fact that you are writing in shows that somewhere inside you know something is wrong!
I am not just quoting facts and laws at you. I know. I was molested many times in childhood. I've gotten help and I'm doing OK, but the scars are still there.
The thing that has helped me most is having a relationship with Jesus Christ. He's helped my heart and mind to heal. He loves me purely and means everything to me. He's one male who will always do what is best for me. He loves you also. When the pain gets too bad just talk to HIm and ask Him to help you and heal your pain.
If you can find a trustworthy woman who can help you and listen to you it will help a lot. You need a woman counselor or someone who can listen, (Not a guy)
2007-10-13 20:31:26 · answer #3 · answered by LeslieAnn 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
YES. It is still molestation. The sixteen year-old was at fault. The eleven year-old was probably traumatized for many years after that.
**EDIT**
The shame you felt was the fact that, though your body was an "early bloomer," your mind was still a child and "prepubescent." You were molested by that 16 year old, whether you "consented" or not. The 16 year old knew better. Why did he choose to touch you and not someone his own age? Because you were younger and more vulnerable... and easy target.
There is no justification for what that young man did to you. If you are 15, do not let your 20 year old boyfriend touch you, either, as that would be statutory rape.
Best find a nice hobby and wait until you are 18. Get counseling for any shame you are suffering with from that childhood experience.
2007-10-13 19:59:56 · answer #4 · answered by scruffycat 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to know why it is wrong?
It is because there is a huge difference in the brain's maturity level. An 11 year olds brain maturity levels differ greatly between a 16 year olds. Kind of like a 2 year olds brain maturity level differs greatly from a 5 year olds. Get it. They are on two really different levels. That's why it's wrong.
As to why it is not wrong for a 21 year old to be with a 50 year old...both of thier brains have fully matured so there is no difference.
I am not talking about if the person ACTS mature...as some never grow up...It's more about the when your brain and body grows up....did you know that the soft spot on a baby's head is not fully gone until baby turns 12...things like that. The difference between a 11 year old and 16 year old are monumental. A 16 year old can give birth to a child...an 11 year old wouldn't be able to. The differences between those few years that young are monumental.
That's why it's wrong...even though you or whoever agreed in full to doing this. Nothing to do with court..laws..or consent...it has to do with the brain and bodies maturity levels being so different.
2007-10-13 22:00:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes this is child abuse for a 16 year old lad to interfere with a girl of 11 is wrong .she is just starting puberty and may think she wants to experience things beyond her age but she is venerable and needs protecting not exploiting . Because of her youth and the hormones surging round their bodies it is easy for things to go too far but when she grows up she knows what happened was wrong . So the boy being older and supposedly wiser should not put himself in this situation .16 year old lads {yr11} dont usually associate with 11 year old girls {yr7} or date them.
2007-10-13 20:27:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes it deffinatly is. My friend who was 15 hooked up with a 12 year old and her mom pressed charges on him. Later when you go out with a guy who is 24 and your 29 its not bad at all but 11 and 16 is not good.
2007-10-13 20:03:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Molestation consists of taking unfair advantage of someone who is unable to realize what he/she is doing.
That includes those you are younger, those who are feeble-minded, those who are incapacitated with alcohol or other drugs, and possibly even those who are incapacitated with grief.
It's effectively "rape by force of will" instead of rape by physical force. And yes, a 16-year-old taking advantage of an 11-year-old is molesting her, no matter what the legal definition is in your state.
Which you already knew before you posted the question. Right?
2007-10-13 20:00:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Yes. If anyone over the age of consent sexually touches someone under the age of consent it is molestation. It is considered predator behavior if the child is under 12.
In the USA the age of consent is 16 in 36 states.
2007-10-13 20:07:18 · answer #9 · answered by Poppet 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes in some cases it is. Cause an 11 year old will still act like a child cause in all aspects she really is. They will yearn for comfort and for someone to hang out with and go along with things.
2007-10-13 19:58:43 · answer #10 · answered by TechGirl 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋