My friend told me this. She found a condom in her her husband's bag when he came back from a business trip. He said it was his friend who bought the whole pack and ask him to keep in his bag.and the 1 condom she found was proberly becuz when the friend took all the packs,he accidentally left one there.
The hubby has always been good to the family and he 's committed to the kids n her.Their love has always been strong and he always does stuffs to show his love for the family.He kept saying he will never leave them
Becuz of these,she don't know what to do as she has no further proof.She won't beleive whatever the friend say cuz she think men always help each other to cover their tracks. I don't know what answer to give her. Any ideas ?
2007-10-13 19:46:17 · 27 answers · asked by beauty guru 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she asked her hubby and he said if he was really cheating, he would have make sure the bag is empty before coming home and would'nt have carelessly left a condom in there. He used to be a player until he met his wife so he said he knows how to cover his tracks if he wants to cheats
2007-10-13 20:42:20 · update #1
Putting aside all these pessimistic people who think everyone's a cheat and who like to think the worst of any situation...
All you have is a condom and a friend who claims it's his - you have no other proof.
Unless more evidence pops up, there is no need to make this bigger than what it really is for now - it very well could be the truth.
Just tell her to keep her *eye open* for more possible signs, that's all that is necessary this point.
I have zero tolerance for adultery (except in cases of physical/mental torment). However, I believe you need reasonable proof before taking decisive action that could ruin a marriage.
2007-10-13 19:53:07 · answer #1 · answered by Infernal Disaster 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why would this friend need to keep the condoms in his bag? It's especially fishy coming back from a business trip - a good place for a married man to score something on the side.
It's possible the condom wasn't his, but I'm not sure what I'd tell her, either. The fact that he routinely shows his love could be altruistic, or he could be doing it out of guilt. I'd be very suspicious, that's for sure. I haven't touched a condom in 6 years... I have no need to, because I've been with the same woman.
She doesn't have definitive proof, but she should definitely keep her eyes open. That's not to say she should let this ruin their relationship, because it could be nothing, and jealousy can tear people apart just as surely as a cheating spouse.
Some men can handle being with one woman. Some can handle going long periods without sex, or do without sexual acts their partners refuse to do or don't do often. Some can't. Every guy is a little different, so ladies, keep your men happy. It gives you better odds at least.
2007-10-13 20:01:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
He's a man. He cheated.
The only thing you can really hold against him is his lack of creativity with the excuse. It was poor, I'd say a .5 on a scale of 1-10.
Anyhow, the reality is that men can separate love from sex and women cannot. Just because he had sex with someone else does not mean that he will leave his family or that he doesn't love his wife, it just means he was horny.
Society is what makes cheating unacceptable, but in reality, it is the choice of a the husband and the wife to decide what they personally can deal with.
I say that it is not the end of the world and that if she really loves him, she should speak openly about it with him. Like it or not, it is an issue the must deal with now. She needs to let him know that she loves him even though this happened. I'd say their time is better spent talking about the issue as opposed to playing the "yes, you did", "no, I didn't" game.
2007-10-13 20:13:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sweetie, he is definitely up to something. Grown men don't hide condoms for one another. That is so lame of an excuse! Tell your friend to keep an eye open for other signs. He may not be willing to break up his family, but it sounds like he is open to a little side action. Once again, no man carries condoms unless he uses them and no grown man asks another to hold them for him. Does he go away on "business trips" often? Does he have a female coworker with him? I would definitely keep eyes and ears open. There is no point in being blind to the situation. He will continue whatever he is doing until he is busted out or forced to stop.
2007-10-14 00:13:42 · answer #4 · answered by Really now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah it does not seem to match why would one guy ask another guy to hold his condoms He could put them in his pocket. And if they are on a business trip his friend is hooking up with people which most people that are friends have a lot in common.I wouldn't trust that bull sh*t . she should get someone to spy on him.
Not that I am trying to split up a marriage.
You need to just be here for her right now. let her know that you are not sure what to tell her but that you are with her all the way no matter what and . let her know if she needs a break from the kids ( cause this kindof stuff can put a lot of stress on a woman and she might need some time to think.) I hope he is not fooling around on her that would be really sad.
My husband cheated on me and It took me two years to really get through all the junk it caused in my brain. No matter what happens just always be there for her.
2007-10-13 20:03:09 · answer #5 · answered by foxy lady 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Simple, can you think of one reason why an adult male couldn't keep his own condoms? Why would anyone have to ask him to put them in your friends husband's bag? I am sorry, but that doesn't sound like common sense, so it probably isn't. Chances are the condom WAS his.
***So he used to be a player and knows how to cover his tracks? Well then maybe the "friend" who took out the condoms and left one behind, was not as good at covering his tracks as he thought!
2007-10-13 19:56:00 · answer #6 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is rather complicated. He may be telling the truth and at the same time not the truth. Just coz the hubby is loving to his family doesnt mean he is not cheating on his wife. So the best solution is get to the bottom of this matter coz it concerns the welfare of the wife and the kids. Go check him out personally or get a private detective to solve this insecurity.
2007-10-13 20:22:30 · answer #7 · answered by Mermaid 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes. His excuse is lame. Hubby needs to get real and get honest. He's cheating and she knows it. He needs to realize she won't tolerate him sleeping with other women. I don't think she needs any further proof. I am glad he's a good dad and a good husband (except for sleeping with other women when out of town), but he is either married or not and needs to act like it. I am sorry for your friend, but this is something she and hubby need to get real about and make a plan. If he plans to stay married, he needs to keep his zipper up. Commitment doesn't mean just when she's looking. It means trust all the time.
2007-10-13 19:53:30 · answer #8 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why would his friend ask him to hold a box of condoms in your friend's husband's bag???? He's an adult.
To be honest, that just sounds like a funny story to me. Tell her to ask him why he had him hold it for him. Normally in those types of situations a woman's intuition should be a little more trusted. If he had never done anything to make her suspicious in the first place, she wouldn't be suspicious now even after his explanation.
Grown men don't need to have friend's hide condoms for them. Even my bf said that doesn't sound right.
Hey box of rain....you should of used the word advice instead, not advise.
2007-10-13 19:51:05 · answer #9 · answered by Konjo Nashi Pirate™ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First why not believe him. Second what if he purchased one condom and never used it. Maybe he had thoughts but he decided he loved his wife to much to go the extra step. "Thank God he was smart of enough to think of a condom" even if he did nothing.
He might be telling the truth. If he has never lied before then why try to prove he has this time. Wife needs to tell husband how she feels with out fighting.
Work it out. Why go to deep when it might be the truth??
2007-10-13 20:43:04 · answer #10 · answered by Mit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋