I have a friend...she just recently started dating a guy who lives more than 1,000 miles away. About a month ago they agreed to get married when he comes to visit (which is only a month from 10/14/07). He's in the army and if they get married he get's money every month.
But here's the catcher...he moves back to his home that's thousands of miles away...without her.
I don't want to see her do this!!! I know that it may not work out like she wants it to and sometimes I think she's just doing it because she gets money from this! What do I do? What should I tell her? She is moving too fast for someone she only talks to via text or phone!
2007-10-13 19:18:28 · 9 answers · asked by Na 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would tell her that this is not acceptable. Marriage is supposed to be forever, and if the only way that you have ever gotten to know someone is over text message you have no Idea what you are getting yourself into. And people take marriage to lightly now a days. It is not supposed to be something that you can just "call off" when things aren't working out. Ask her if she can honestly say that she will be there for better or for worse?
2007-10-13 19:31:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 19. I married a 26 year old Marine after a very short period of dating. And after the wedding I too stayed home because he was deploying to Iraq. He came back I moved down with him and now he's back in Iraq.
Let me tell you something I am the happiest I have ever been. I was happy form the moment I met my now husband. I feel the same way now that I felt when I married him.
I would never regret our relationship. If it had failed or if it still fails at least I know I tried and followed my heart. I had alot of friends like you question me about my choices. Honestly the best thing you can do for her as a friend is talk to her.
Tell her you want to be able to support her but you have to understand where she is coming from. Ask her questions get her point of view. The conversation should not be one sided. And when it comes down to it after that conversation, if you agree with her or not, get up give her a hug and tell her you support her because she is your friend and that you will be there for her!
2007-10-18 02:33:03 · answer #2 · answered by Lauren B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could pull your friend aside and voice your concerns? However there is a very fine line between telling her what you think and appearing genuinely concerned for her, and telling her what you think and appearing nosy, judgmental and pushy. Unfortunately in situations like these, the majority of the time we have to sit back and let our loved ones make there own mistakes and find there own way through things. We can certainly be there to offer our opinions and support but in the end, its not really any of our business who they marry. And if no-one is getting hurt, and it is beneficial for both parties then what the heck? I'm sure your friend is aware of the short time frame this is happening in. Trust that she knows what she's doing and can take care of herself. And just be there for her. All the best :)
2007-10-14 02:39:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What concerns me more is that they've never been together in person for any amount of time. I've dated someone long distance before, and it is WAY different being with them in person for a long time than being on the phone/internet, no matter how well you know them.
I would recommend her moving to live by him before they get married for at least six months. Things can look very different in person, trust me :/
2007-10-14 02:21:40 · answer #4 · answered by Kimberly B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't stop her from doing this, but you CAN advise her against it.
Make her look at the bigger picture and point out that they barely even know each other enough to get married. Also, question her about the possible increase of money and his motives.
This sounds really suspicious to me...He seems like one of those guys who is only looking to get married for the benefits of money and having someone waiting for him.
2007-10-14 02:27:07 · answer #5 · answered by darkening_hope 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I almost got married to a marine that was stationed 2 states away, when I was 19. I am so glad that I didn't! I mean I still love him, and we are still friends, but I am SO happy that I never went through with that! I feel like my life is so much fuller now!
2007-10-14 02:23:48 · answer #6 · answered by foxxy_snow_bunny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Live your own life. If you are truly her friend, you will be there to help her pick up the pieces when this goes bad. But for now, you need only to worry about your own life.
Good luck.
2007-10-14 02:24:14 · answer #7 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's marrying too stupid. Do they have any plans to actually live together at any point?
2007-10-14 02:22:36 · answer #8 · answered by kttphoenix 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it. She's going to do what she wants to do, and if she hasn't asked for your opinion, she doesn't want to hear it.
2007-10-14 02:33:13 · answer #9 · answered by kyliekissesx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋