I haven't been with my husband intimatley since march; What do u think is wrong?

Question

We moved from one place to where we live now he stayed behind to close on the house and tie up loose ends the house thing was done in two weeks; first part of Jan, he didn't move here until march. He only came he on weekends and he told me when I wanted to go see him that under no circumstances was I to come see him (3 hours away). Since he has moved here we haven't slept in the same bed. I went on vacation w/my kids(OURS) I told him I had enough. He was remorseful then. After I came back home (6week later) still no intimacy. Then I had a horrible thing happen to me (my intestines burst in my abdomen) and he still treats me as a room mate. He says he still loves me but I think he is not in LOVE with me. I want to stayed married but not sure what to do. My religion does not allow divorce. So I guess I am stuck. Any Opinons?

Okay if anyone wants to seriously help me with this let me know and I will somehow IM you or add me to your list and we will discuss this further.

My mother in law came and took the kids for a night in may and when it was bed time he patted me on the back and see you in the morning. I asked him if we were going to bed together and watch a movie or just talk he said goodnight and slept on the couch. I have tried believe me he won't even lip kiss me. He kisses me on my forhead.

Answer 1

There are so many variables and you haven't given enough info. Man is fragile and there are many reasons that can cause that result. Some physical, but most mental.

Even if he did cheat, that's not the beginning.
It could have been as simple as him reaching for you when you didn't feel well or didn't want to be bothered. Rejection is one of the main reasons.

Do you initiate sex ever? there comes a time when he might feel that you don't enjoy it.

Please understand , I'm on a fishing expedition.
No one can tell you what the cure is , if they can't find the cause.

Many years ago , I worked with a group that tackled such problems. Please feel free to email me and I might be able to help.

In the mean time, smile and be pleasant. reach for his hand. keep the talk lite. See a comedy and laugh together. Keep yourself well groomed and perfumed, Until you figure things out.

Some problems can make him impotent and pride might stop him from saying. the variables are many. Pray together and for each other.

Answer 2

I would not be worried if having no sex was based on some sort of open or silent agreement between you and your husband. But your husband refusing to even touch you beyond a kiss on the forehead tells me that there is something seriously wrong. Either he has a medical problem (and therefore avoids anything that might lead to an intimate situation), or your marriage does not mean much to him any more. The first type of problem you could try to resolve together, but this looks more like the second type of problem to me (especially the fact that he prevented you from visiting him). If you want to stay married all you can do is try to make him talk about where you all stand. I know this is difficult, and he may be afraid to be honest with you if he did something wrong. Try to be as non-frightening as possible, tell him that your marriage is very important for you, that yu love him, and that you are ready to forgive but want a new start as a married couple. If that doesn't work and he keeps telling you that everything is fine you might want to see your religious counsellor and ask him for help.

Best of luck - I very much feel for you.

Answer 3

wow that's a thought. No intimacy at all. Maybe he was fooling around and caught a disease and he still loves you but cannot find it in his heart to tell you what he did. Ask him why you could not go visit him when he was away, and why he doesn't want to be intimate with you. See if he will go with you to talk to someone at the church. Is he involved in your religion? I am so sorry that some guys do not openly express their feeling in a way that make a wife feel more secure in their relationship. I hope things work out for the two of you. Remember communication is key.

Answer 4

Believe me, if he's not getting it at home, he's getting it from somewhere else. Thats a long time to not be intimate with your mate. In fact, you should be very worried and you should try to find some loop hole in your religion that say something about divorcing in cases where your husband ain't giving you any! Actually, I'm worried about you...thats too long for a woman to go without when she's suppose to have a husband by her side. Maybe you should invest in some toys or try to talk to your husband about going to a marriage counselor if you really want to make it work.

Answer 5

I can't really thing of him to be cheating on you but perhaps the best thing is to find out if he is suffering from any STD which he might be afraid to pass to you. Take the precaution and have him tasted. If he will be health, then something would be behind his behavior more likely seeing someone else beside you and perhaps plans to leave you for her. He perhaps might be contamplating his best interest eith to stay or move out. The best way is to communicate politely with him let him explain to you about his change of habits and know what next from there.

Answer 6

Why were you and your kids not able to visit him? That seems very odd. Maybe you could have someone watch the kids and the two of you have a romantic night together. Or just ask him if anything is wrong. Sorry you are going through this.

Answer 7

ok in my opinion i know that is your religion does not allow divorce but you need to think of your kids
i know they know you dont sleep in the same bed and believe me they will be affected by this they may not tell you but it does not hurt them my parents were divorced at a young age at that did not hurt me as bad as when my mom and her second husband stoped sleeping in the same bed (and i was not living there and it still hurt me) i dont want to see your children hurt i love them too much(i know anyone who reads this is gonna be like i hope they know each other lol) but i do love your children and i can only think of them in all this your happiness is important too but your kids need a mom and dad who can show them what a marriage should be like or thier marriage will fail too

now im not saying divorce but you should try to work it out b4 it comes to that for the kids sake
i love you as my friend and i dont want to see you hurting

Answer 8

Unless your husband is in his 80's I can see the no sex thing. But he's probably getting it somewhere else.

Both of you need to go see a marriage counselor. Why wouldn't he let you go see him??

As for your religion, Do you think your God wants you to be unhappy in your life?

Answer 9

You need to ask him what the problem is. It is unusual for a male to go that long so something is definitely up. Only the two of you can work it out though.

Answer 10

why do so many ppl think divorce 1st thing instead of looking internally for the answer?if u feel something is wrong...which i do too...then u need to re-evaluate things...do u really love him or just infatuated with him? do u trust him? and if not...*** him!! are u as trustworthy as u want him to be? and if not...*** u!! are u in love with him? and who really cares about ur religion? do u ? or is it cause u care wat everyone in the church will think of u?

no offense but, if my man stayed "behind" to tie up loose ends...he better be taking care of me when he gets here!! and if not...get outta here man!!

if it's u feeling insecure...he should be there to help u outta that...if not, *** him...find someone better..someone who cares about u!!