well my period is 9 days late and i had sex with my bf without a condom so now im scared... what should i do ... and there is no way i can tell my mom no matter what...
2007-10-13 18:55:51 · 91 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
NO, you will regret your decision later in life
2007-10-13 18:58:22 · answer #1 · answered by Frank Y 1 · 17⤊ 13⤋
DO NOT LISTEN TO ANYONE ON THIS BOARD WHO HAS AN OBVIOUS AGENDA.
Firstly, you will have to tell your mother (or another supportive adult, say an aunt or a teacher) if you are pregnant, and particularly if you intend to get an abortion. This is not something you should go through by yourself, you will probably have to have someone sign and pick you up after the procedure, and given your age, you might need an adults consent anyway. You may also need money for the procedure.
Secondly, a fifteen year old who has unprotected sex is probably not mature enough to be a responsible parent. Keeping the baby at your age would almost certainly be a mistake: You would have a three year old child as your friends finish high school - your baby would be nearly 8 years old before you can legally drink! Your options (if you really are pregnant) are either an abortion, or adoption. Of course, if you were going to have the baby, you would really have to tell your mother at this point, then organise adoption.
There is nothing wrong with having an abortion if you think it is the right thing to do. Do not let people tell you that you should "learn from your mistake" by having a baby - that would be punishing an innocent child for a choice you made when you yourself were still a child. If you genuinely think abortion is wrong, then adoption is another thing you can consider.
Go to your nearest women's health clinic, or your school counsellor and they will help you sort it out - they are professionals who have dealt with cases like yours many times. If anyone knows the "right" thing for you, how to make your choice, and if you are "ready", it will be these people.
You will also need to have a pregnancy test asap, obviously, and you should get tested for STDs as you had unprotected sex. A womens health clinic should be able to provide this service.
And finally - do not EVER have unprotected sex! It is never, ever worth the risk. It takes one mistake, in just a short time you may have contracted a life-threatening disease. Would you be willing to die just for that one moment with your boyfriend? This is a risk you take when you have unprotected sex - aside from the risk of becoming pregnant.
Hope this helps
El
2007-10-15 02:13:02 · answer #2 · answered by Ella Rouge of the distant Empyre 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you find out you are truly pregnant, than you need to think about the pros and cons of each decision. Don't just have an abortion on impulse. You need to do what feels right for you. 15 is defenetly too young to have a child. No child should have to deal with the stresses of raising another child. You're not mature enough yet. Having an abortion may be a good thing, your not ready yet for this child. Some people may say "don't abort put it up for adoption." But do you know how many babys there are in this world who are in orphanages and cannot find a loving supportive home? Why add to that. Having a child a putting up for adoption is probably not the best thing for the child. However, if you are against abortion for any reason or just don't feel comfortable with it, than carry the baby to term and put it up for adoption. The choice is yours. I think you should tell your parents. You're going through a tough time. You need so guidance and support.
2007-10-14 14:37:28 · answer #3 · answered by Tamsin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
But you were ready for sex, or apparently you thought you were. YOU made the ADULT decision to engage in sex and now you need to be responsible and deal with the consequences. Every time you have sex there's a chance of pregnancy occurring, even if you use a condom or birth control. So if you're not ready for a pregnancy possibly occuring, you probably shouldn't be having sex. Keep your legs closed from now on!
So now I am going to tell you a little about your baby. At this point in time, it's gender has been determined, it already has a primitive circulatory system and heart, and the basic foundations for it to think, sense, and feel later in life have formed. Within 2 weeks the babies heart will be beating.
So anyways, you've landed yourself in a pretty sucky situation, to be honest. You NEED to tell your mom; she will find out sooner or later anyways and the sooner she knows the better. If you decide to carry this pregnancy to term, you need your mothers support and help. As for the abortion, that is a very difficult situation. This baby has/will alter your life no matter if you choose to have an abortion or not. If you carry the baby to term then (depending on where you live) you might have to stay home and drop out of school (although, you could take online classes if need to be). You won't be able to do some of the things you're friends can, and will have to be very careful about eating the right foods, getting enough rest, etc. It will be tough and life-altering, but you will have a little baby in the end. However if you have an abortion, you will probably feel guilt for the rest of your life. Most women who have abortions regret it and feel an immense amount of guilt. Also, an abortion could have other side-affects for you. It could decrease your chances of becoming pregnant later on when you're TTC or damage your uterus or other organs.
My opinion is that abortion should NEVER be used as a birth control. People need to deal with the consequences of their actions! But ultimately, the decision is yours. There are positive and negative side affects to either choice (due mostly to your age). Keep in mind that if you want to have the baby but feel you can't be a mother right now, you could always give it up for adoption. There are TONS of infertile couples who would love to adopt a child.
2007-10-13 19:30:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
First, go buy a pregnancy test. Then go to your doctor and double check. Then get checked for STD's.
Tell your bf if you're pregnant. Ask if he'll stay with you and if he'll help support the baby. Ask him what he thinks you should do about the baby. You should both decide what to do. Personally, I wouldn't get an abortion because I think it's wrong. You're taking away the baby's life and it doesn't have a choice. Also, abortions can go wrong. Think about the consequences. If you strongly believe that you should get an abortion, then do that. Do what you think is right.
If you are pregnant, I think you should tell your mom. You might be surprised with the reaction that you get. She might even help you through it all. There's no way to know how she will react unless you tell her and you can discuss whether or not to get an abortion with her.
I hope everything works out.
Message me when it all gets sorted out.
If you want to talk, I'm here.
2007-10-13 19:09:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay so pregnancy test first. Are you for sure pregnant. If you don't have the money for the test there are places you can go. Planned parenthood, the dollarstore just to name a few. I had my first child when I was 15. I was not ready. I am so happy that I didn't have an abortion. When I found out that I was pregnant a freind of mine found out that she was pregnant too! She had an abortion. Whenever she sees my little girl she thinks about what her baby would have been like. The baby inside of you is a baby. Your baby. And even if you don't think you are ready God gave you this child. Maybe there is a family sitting somewhere now who just found out that they cannot get pregnant and your baby is their dream come true. Think about it, I am sure that your mother loves you, and you should ask for her support and advice. Let her know that you are scared and confused and that you need her by your side.
2007-10-13 19:04:50 · answer #6 · answered by anyhoo085 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only 15?
I can understand that you are scared and that you wouldn't be ready.
My advice is to go with a friend to a drug store and buy a pregnency test. Take the test and find out if you are pregnant or not. Even if the test says you aren't you still may be and should go to a doctor. If you absoloutley must get an abortion, which I can also understand, and you don't want your mom to find out, go to a Planned Parent Hood; it is 100% confidential. Since you are not 16 yet and obviously cannot drive get an older friend to take you, maybe your boyfriend if he is older. Even if he isn't he should be there too.
People make mistakes, don't be ashamed. Just accept this as a lesson learned. I know this is a really tough situation so if you ever need to talk to someone anonymously you can email me and I will help as much as I can.
Goodluck to you,
and don't let anyone on here get you down for making a mistake, I'm sure they've made mistakes too.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/
2007-10-13 19:04:13 · answer #7 · answered by elemenopee. 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Get a pregnancy test from your local drug store. Test yourself. Then, consult your doctor for a second opinion. Just because you're late does not mean you're probably pregnant.
If you're NOT pregnant, then you have learned a valuable lesson about why everyone's telling you NOT to have sex!
If you ARE pregnant, well, then you did the deed, so you should face the consequences. If you're ready to act like an adult and have sex, then you're ready to BE an adult and raise a baby.
I hate to use the "tough love" advice, but it's the only way a lot of young people are going to learn these days.
2007-10-13 19:05:08 · answer #8 · answered by Danielle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abortion is wrong. If you are pregnant there's a little life growing inside of you. I heard my child's heartbeat around 8 weeks. It's a human being and abortion is soooooo wrong! Do the best thing you could do and give your baby up for adoption. You're too young and why should your mom have to raise it? No matter what the outcome is stop having sex! You're way to young for everything that goes along with it, especially a baby!
2007-10-13 19:01:48 · answer #9 · answered by Carrie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all I want to say that to those who are telling this young girl that her life will be "screwed up", you must not have a child. I am NOT promoting teen pregnancy.. although I did get pregnant with my 1st child when I was 18.. I was a lil bit older than 15 and I was in my last year of highschool....and I did finish school....But a baby does not screw up your life.. it does make things hard (if you keep it at such a young age) but I'm not being mean when I say this: You know what the consequenses are when you are having sex without protection. .... I am against abortions as I see them as murder and I think every baby deserves to live whether their biological parents want them or not as it's not that poor innocent baby's fault they were created.....Give the baby up for adoption.. there are so many couples out there that can't have children that would love to raise your baby... They have programs where you can get all of your medical bills paid for while you are pregnant....And about telling your mom.. I know in some states in order to get an abortion, you have to have your guardian with you....You NEED to tell your mom.. or tell a trusted adult who would tell your mom for you........Also, you may want to take a PG test before you do anything.. you can get them at Walmart for like $4 and they do work.
Good luck and please don't abort this innocent baby.
2007-10-13 19:40:42 · answer #10 · answered by I ♥ my irish twins! 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First take a pregnancy test, there is no since in stressing out over something that may not even be. Now, if you are pregnant you need to know that your mother loves you and yes she will be disappointed. Never mind her disappointment, she signed up for motherhood and no one can love you through this like your mother. Once you tell her you have to give her some space to work it out in her mind. You know that is what we moms do. We always have to figure out how to fix things when they seem to have gone awry. This does not mean that she will react well or have a great solution but honesty with your mom is very important. I urge you with a great big PLEASE, don't have an abortion. This is something that you carry with you for the rest of your life no matter how you resolve it it does not change what you have done once you do it. It is emotionally devastating and you are so young. You can recover from labor and delivery a lot better than you can from an abortion. I am not judging you but I have been there. It is a long road to hall. Adoption is an option but so is raising this child. What ever you decide I am praying for you. I know what it feels like to be where you are.
2007-10-13 19:17:50 · answer #11 · answered by viento 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋