SHould I have a baby?

Question

I have been married for two years and I really love my husband but he is making me sick and I want to have a baby I'm not sure if I should considerning when I look at him I want to smack him in his face. We met in college and he was my dream man he was a star football player and great friend. Well now that we are older and married he has gained almost 100 pounds {It happened so slowly i really didn't notice till one day i just looked around and was like what the hell , who are you} Every time i metion it he gets upset and tells me he will go to the gym on his own time and he recently has been having bad back problems the doctor told him it was because of his weight and he still won't do anthing about it. This man drinks a 2 liter of soda and bottle of juice a day. I told him if he love me and wanted to be there for us and our future family he would take care of his self and he says he does love me but he is just not ready I think that is a bunch of crap he is affecting other people beside himself by having all this weight. I feel like he is just being lazy and sloppy he will sit in front of the TV four hours he could take an hour and go the gym. I even paid for one and he never used it. He was a football player i don't understand it and i'm finding it hard to be patient and supportive. He was a sexy in shape big guy about 300 but toned and sexy and now he is 400 pounds and his stomach pushes right through his shirts. Also his teeth are starting to get some stuff on the bottom and I asked him to go the dentist and once again he says I will but in my own time this has been a year i have been saying this and I am so frustrated I'm tired of argueing about his appearance and I don't know what to do . I really want to have a baby but is it smart because he is getting on my nerve can anyone help. I still love him and we are great friends but I can't take this i am in very good shape and try my best to eat right should i just leave him because i feel now he is just being disrespectful

Answer 1

i think your husband has some issues of his own..maybe he's bothered by something..he really has a problem he's not been telling you..and oh please, don't leave him just because he doesn't look like the way he used to..and having a baby is great, it may take off the stress that your husband is giving you but now isn't the right time..fix your marriage first before the baby. the marriage might not end up well and the baby will suffer..talk to your husband..don't just nag about his weight and his looks..find out what's making him so fat, aside from the fact that he's eating too much..he might be really depressed inside or whatever.

Answer 2

If you are asking then NO. It's not fair to bring a child into a shaky marriage in the first place. Your child deserves 2 loving parents.Bring a baby with not "magically" turn your husband into a better man. It may make the situation worse then it is already. What if he leaves, then you have a child and no husband to support you and the baby.
And Honestly did you think your handsome Fiance would remain the same after several years of marriage? If you did you need to get your heads out of the clouds.

Answer 3

He needs a physical. It sounds like he could be suffering from depression. Since he puts off going to the doctor himself, how about you make the appointment, tell him he's going and then go with him. If that won't work, does he have a best friend or a close family member whose opinion he values? If so, see if you can convince that person to talk to him, but try not to make it sound like your only concern for him is how unattractive he's become. Try to show concern for his health. If I were you, I would put off having a baby right now. Once you have a baby and you're dealing with diapers, teething and sleepless nights, whatever problems you had before the baby came become magnified.

Answer 4

Wow no I don't think you should have a child with him. Because I really don't see someone who loves their husband. I read your post and all you did was insult and put your husband down.. I'm certain there are things that have changed about you too. Maybe he is unhappy himself and that is why he is the way he is now. Ever thought maybe your doing something that is making him unhappy? You two need to work on your marriage first off and both get happy there and move on from that.

Answer 5

NO WAY----not yet as it sounds like you are not in a settled relationship yet. And this is important to be settled if a baby is being decided. Constant arguments is unproductive around children. A broken home is the last thing a baby needs , parents should be prepared for the long haul .So if you are not happy then leave him and have a baby with some one you really love and can live with.

Answer 6

Don't have a baby now! If he can't take care of himself, then he won't be much help with a baby. So, you would have two fussy people in your house. I understand about wanting a child. I want one too, but my husband can't give me one and has shut down the idea of alternatives.

So, if your husband can prove to be responsible and take care of himself in the next couple of years, then start a family. I feel for you!

Answer 7

You should not have a baby, you are not even happy in your marriage now, I am not so sure you really still love your husband. Your marriage may not last if you are as unhappy as you sound. You need to work out these problems as a baby will only make an unhappy marriage worse.

Answer 8

Do not have a baby. Why would you even consider bringing a baby into a home where you are obviously unhappy. Perhaps your husband is depressed rather than lazy and sloppy. Rather than nagging him about losing weight, talk to him. Ask if there is anything that you can do to help him help himself because he has to do it for himself not for you and not for family or a baby.

Answer 9

you can post this as many times as you want, Sorry you are not getting the answers you want from your last posting, You are the problem in your marriage. He is not the same man you married, and trying to change him is DEAD WRONG. No you should not have a baby till you try to deal with your control issues. Your husband is going to walk out on you if you do not.

Answer 10

i would not advise having a baby right now when things in your marriage arent working that well...having a baby might just complicate things for the both of you....

have another talk with your husband (i know you are against this after talking to him so many times already)....tell him that you are tired of this kind of life...tell him that you have been patient with him...tell him that you love him and you are worried for his health...tell him you won't stand by seeing him waste away...tell him you'd really like to start a family but you cant bear your child to have a father who only thinks about himself...give him an ultimatum to shape up or ship out...this might jolt him to reality and make him aware how miserable he is making your lives...

i would also advise you to review your marriage...since i am only hearing your side of the story....can it be that you have lost your love for him and you have now realized that you are no longer content with your life with him while pointing fingers at him...best thing to do is work out your marriage, possibly with the help of a counselor...try to save and fix your marriage before thinking of starting a family...