My friend got asked to a dance by somebody she doen't like. How can she reject him without being rude. Is there an excuse or lie she can possibly say that might sound sincere?
2007-10-13 15:38:26 · 46 answers · asked by baigen1067 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
A simple "no thank you" is all that's required. Lying and/or making up excuses is much more rude and inconsiderate than simply saying no.
EDIT
I would also add that once she's said no, she shouldn't go around making a big deal about the fact this guy asked her out. That will just make the guy feel humiliated.
2007-10-13 15:42:22 · answer #1 · answered by Justin H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is nice that your friend wants to let this guy down easily. We have all faced rejection at one point or another, and it is not fun.
She could say something along the lines of "I'm sorry, but my friends and I had planned to go to this dance together. But you should ask (Name of Other Friend), I think you guys would get along well!"
Pretty simple and direct.
Hope this helps!
PS- Make sure the other person she suggests to him approves first. You don't want him to have to go through the same thing again!
2007-10-13 15:50:13 · answer #2 · answered by Brittany 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without being rude, she can say no, thank you. If he persists, then be a bit rude. Life's too short to try to make up excuses, just be honest. If he asks the first time, that's a polite no, if he asks again, then tell him you really don't want to go to the dance with him, and please do not be hurt.
2007-10-13 15:41:56 · answer #3 · answered by Leopardlady 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the funny thing about excuses is you dont need to be honest, you just need to sound sincere. considering peoples feelings is an important part of communication regardless of whether you plan on being friends with them in the future, because being mean about it can earn you a bad reputation. (people dont tend to want to be friends with meanies). if they are both going to be there, the best thing to do would have her say, i think you're a good guy, and (if theyre friends), you're definately a great friend. i just dont like you that way. im sorry, (and as long as he acknowledges she does not like him), lets hang out sometime. (this doesnt mean they have to hang out. its just to be nice) ;)
2007-10-13 16:00:58 · answer #4 · answered by net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hurting him by saying no now would not be as hurtful as going with him and being miserable, which he would pick up on. We are under no obligation to please everybody in life. My favorite saying is : I cannot tell you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for success, which is to try to please everybody.
Women have been trained to think of others first, but eventually that becomes resentment, etc. Do you think, if she asked a man who didn't want to go with her, that he would say yes, just to please her? Men have been trained differently, and we women have got to learn that we don't our time or anything else to anyone else. Have you ever heard the phone rind, and think you HAVE to answer it? Programming! Just because someone is free to call us doesn't mean we are free (or want to )talk at that moment.
So, your friend will learn a valuable lesson. She will survive saying no. He will survive her saying no. And how to do it? Many ways, such as "I'm not able to go, but thanks for asking". She doesn't have to be rude, just honest.
2007-10-13 15:46:22 · answer #5 · answered by dutchlady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really flattered but - insert truth here - not going, going with someone else, you are nice but I just am not interested right now. She can reject without painful comments. Just takes a little tact and hey, who knows, in a few year ---- she may end up being interested so it pays to not burn any bridges.
2007-10-13 15:42:11 · answer #6 · answered by Cash 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless she is not going to go to the dance, there is no painless way to tell him no.
Perhaps Just tell him you appreciate his interest, but there is someone else you are hoping is going to ask you to the dance.
Just anticipate that if you leave the door open like that, he may ask again.
In any case, treat him like you would like to be treated in that situation.
Good luck
2007-10-13 15:43:14 · answer #7 · answered by rorzzz09192007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she could say, "Yes i'll go with you, but only as a friend." It works, but it probably isn't the best thing to do. Perhaps you could say "sorry, I already have a partner" or something along these lines. Well I hope this helps!
2007-10-13 15:42:42 · answer #8 · answered by @NG3! B@bY <3333 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is critical that young women speak the truth, even at the risk of hurting feelings...why you ask? Because young men need things spelled out for them. If she says "I'm planning to re-arrange my sock drawer that night, so I can't go with you", the boy will not get the clue.
2007-10-13 15:41:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem. I told him it was because I didn't have a dress (which I didn't) so I didn't lie but she should just say "no thank you" or "I would rather just go with my friends this time." She doesn't need to explain herself. If she doesn't want to go she doesn't have to.
2007-10-13 15:42:51 · answer #10 · answered by *My_Oh_My* 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋