why is she acting like this?

Question

i want to know y my soon to be ex would through her life away. i was working and covering everything and she got rid of me she had to do nothing but be a housewife like she wanted so y did our marriage fall apart. i would appreciate it if she would answer this

Answer 1

Women are irrational creatures, logic is the last thing that controls them

Answer 2

Many possibilities, but only she could answer the question, none of us could.

She may not have wanted to be a housewife. Maybe she wanted an identity of her own beyond that.

Or maybe she thought "happily ever after" didn't include washing your socks.

She doesn't think she's throwing her life away. She's trading it in to have a chance at one more to her liking. Sometimes when people do that, they lose a good thing and regret it later. Sometimes they get exactly what they want, whatever that is.

No matter what it is, none of us can tell you. Only she knows. Or maybe even she doesn't know.

Look, you loved her once, if not now. Talk to her like a person and see if she doesn't respond. See what she really wants, and if it's to be divorce, maybe part friendly and give her whatever help might really be reasonable. Don't go into this thinking that just because you were the only one with an income that she's not entitled to leave with anything more than whatever you don't want.

Answer 3

From your tone of voice, it seems you don't value her life at all, so it's not hard to imagine that she got sick of orbiting around you like a sycophantic satellite. From what you wrote, her whole "life" consists of "having nothing to do" while you go out and work. While it's clear that you were cool with this situation, it's pretty obvious now that she wasn't But, rather than wonder what made her so unhappy, you're completely surprised at her decision to leave you, because you can't imagine there was anything wrong with her situation. The truth is, though, that she's probably just as smart as you are, and if she decided to give up what sounds like a life of leisure just to get away from you, you're going to have to admit that she was pretty unhappy. My guess is that you don't communicate with her very well, or else you both could have talked about whatever it is that made her miserable, before she decided to leave you and you turned to Yahoo Answers. I can tell you two things about women that will probably help:

1. Nowadays, very few women are content to just stay at home and keep house while a man makes all the money. Even if your ex-wife told you she loved this arrangement, she may have been secretly bitter at you about it. Either she felt like you were pressuring her into a Suzy Homemaker role, or she felt like she couldn't be honest with you and say she was sick of it. No matter what really happened, the truth is that, at least now, it's apparent she isn't satisfied with being just a wife anymore.

2. Sometimes, for deeply emotional reasons that women themselves rarely understand, they just feel like it's time to get out of a relationship. If you really love her, you'll understand this, and won't keep pretending that she walked out on a splendidly perfect situation in which you were blameless. If you love her, you'll try to talk to her and understand how she feels, and take steps to build with her a life that will make both of you happy, instead of just you.

In the end, if you try communicating and it just isn't working out, maybe it's better for you to let go. If you're being honest about your marriage, and you really did give her everything she wanted with no strings attached, she had no reason to leave you. The fact that she did, despite all that you did for her, should be a wake-up call.

Answer 4

Sometimes being a housewife, makes a wife feel like a slave. There is no pay involved, sick days, or vacation days. The wife usually will feel underappreciated, almost like it is expected of them to keep the house spotless, the laundry clean, and supper cooked. There are days when it a wife just doesn't want to do it, and will feel guilty if it is not done. All because they are a housewife, and/or a stay-at-home mother.
The way to prevent this is to make her feel appreciated, give her days to just lounge around, and say "thank you" for everything that is done around the home.
It is hard being a housewife all the time. Feeling appreciated is usually all it takes. The working spouse takes the housewife for granted, almost like it is a privelege to stay at home all day and clean. It is a lot harder than it looks, especially doing it day after day.

Answer 5

Most likely because she got bored being a "housewife". Chances are she got bored with the whole relationship- lack of excitement.Maybe you think staying home for u and cooking and cleaning all day and have conversations with kids all day long is stimulating, but more than likely she got tired of being your mother and servant and u were just too selfish and self-absorbed to see that it was bothering her. I'm sure she made attempts to talk to u about it, but u were always too tired or too busy to deal with her.

Answer 6

Thats a good questions.. maybe the first place to start looking is at yourself.

what did you ask her to do?

what did you expect her to do?

how did you expect her to handle it and did you really think she would be content for the rest of her life.

remember people are not all the same, and through out our lives we evolve emotinaly and mentally. So at times we out grow certain lifes styles what ever they may be.

Maybe... i you choose to think about it, is that maybe she was not happy.

remember there are two people in a relationship both you and her... and the sidewalk is not always even nor does it ever stay even . you probably did notice when the change occured. you probably in most cases tured a blind eye when you chose to believe every thing was ok.... wake up

Answer 7

It could be a change of life thing. I'm so sorry for your loss, Michael. It sounds like she needs to see a therapist or something. As long as she's still married to you, you may be able to see to it that she gets the help she needs. Just remember, she's taken enough from you. Don't let her take away your home, money, etc., whenever she decides to leave. A good man like you is hard to find, as she is about to find out. Hang in there, buddy. You're in my prayers tonight.

Answer 8

Perhaps she wasn't getting all that she needed - being a housewife is NOT rewarding all by itself.
A woman needs compassion, respect, affection, purpose, fulfillment, satisfaction (in a lot of ways), and many other things. Women are not one-sided like men. They are complex beings.
Perhaps she had more needs than you were satisfying for her.

Answer 9

you are right. ONLY she would know the answer to this. BUT, i assure you.. there WERE signs along the way. signs you may have chosen to ignore.
if the marriage was truly still working for her & if HER needs {whatever they may have been- quiet time alone with you...a'life' away from being a housewife/mother) were being met. she would not simply throw it all way w/o at least trying to repair it. may u need to SOUL search.
i am NOT saying it is ALL your fault...
because if she was unhappy her RESPONSIBILITY was to discuss it with you to give you at least a chance to repair it.

Answer 10

This is not going to help you much but there could be very many reasons why she broke up with you - there is no way people on yahoo answers can give you a straight and proper answer to your question. There is only one way to find out - ask your (ex) wife!!!

Answer 11

she didn't want the life u had to offer her, maybe she wasn't mature enough to handle mature marriage, and life in the real world, but its not about why is she acting like this, its all about what are u going to do and how are u going to handle it. its often not the hurt that does us in but how we choose to handle it and deal with it. but i do know this, that it seldom has anything to do with us, or anything we have really done to the person, its about their belief system, and character. some people are never satisfied no matter how good they have it or how much u do for them, u just can't make them happy. i do know that marriage is based on promises, and not conditions. she didn't take it seriously. don't take it personally it wasn't about u. maybe life with u was just too easy for her, and not challenging enough for her. they seldom answer why they did it, as they would really just rather avoid any confrontation. the truth to it lies within her, and the relationship she has with herself. its not about u.