Please help... Im ready to leave the Marriage?

Question

I need help. I have a problem. I'm not in love with my husband anymore. I had problems with him while we where engage and I'm having again now. When we first met it was like love at first srung. Then he got a job and it resolve around women. Then the car came and being that his job finish late, he would sometime take me some of the ladies. Things got crazy and I assume he was cheating - of course he said no- then a couple month after, he had a girl best friend. We finally broke up and I don't know why I excepted him back but I did and we moved to another country to start another life. Now we're here and we got married + have a baby. We didn't much when we started out, and when we got married we did it quitely. No rings were bought. Its going to be 2 yr in jan. and I.m sick and tired of him. He's rude and hardly helps out with the baby.
He come home at 12 am after work and goes straight onto the computer until 5 in the morning and expect we to get up after a days work o

Answer 1

If you're not happy and sick and tired of your husband. Then leave him. Get a divorce. You can take care of your baby on your own and find someone better.

Answer 2

those questions could be offensive yet they're genuine undemanding problems. how many hours an afternoon does he artwork and how many days a week does he artwork weekends too? Do you artwork and make contributions to the abode? in case you do not and he works his butt off and is derived abode to a multitude then i will work out a huge area of the project there. Do you annoy him with consistent courtroom circumstances? If he works all day and could pay for each and all the charges he shouldn't could do any of the undemanding artwork around the abode. He already has carried out his share on the pastime. If he orders porn that makes me ask your self what you're doing besides. have you ever gained quite some weight when you consider that to procure married and had a baby? have you ever tried to maintain your self on the brink of an identical point of recognition as you have been once you have been married? basically keep in mind the guy you have been while to procure married. Are you nonetheless that very same guy or woman? Do you attempt and initiate off up any sexual activities? attempt utilising a condom? He won't choose yet another baby. i'm not protecting him in any respect, i'm basically asking the questions i could have responded when you consider that i'm not chatting with him. What I constantly tell my buddies is, look on the top effect, what's it you may do to get there. So on each occasion there's a combat or a project, do not constantly respond utilising emotion. Use good judgment. What am i able to declare or do to get carry of the top effect. How am i able to get him to have intercourse with me? (do you may shed some pounds? Is he basically working too complicated? Does he have a erectile disfunction and is basically too embarrassed to confess it?) How am i able to get him to coach us extra interest? (Does he choose a activity with much less hours?) You get the meaning. There are 2 human beings in a dating. do not look at it like he's basically the project, and don't look at it such as you are the only project the two.

Answer 3

I'm sure you know the situation better because you are part of the relationship. However, your story somewhat fits into my and hence I will give you my two cents.

I work around women (80 percent of them), I work till midnight and I stay on the computer after I go to home for a while (Maybe not till 5am but about 1 or 2 hours). I go online because I consider that my down time. During this time, I end up playing games, online banking, etc. Sometimes, I also explore into additional ways of making money such as researching about setting up a business, part time job etc. If my wife is assuming that I'm cheating, then I guess I'm looking at a divorce as well, when in reality I'm looking at improving our financial status.

What I'm trying to get at is, lets not assume that he is cheating, try to understand why he is spending so much time online after work (down time, sleeping disorder, etc) and try to help him over come that obstacle. After all relationship is all about helping each other out by understanding each other.

Granted sometimes situations could be really worse and have to go towards divorce such as cheating, drugs, drinking problem, gambling problem, etc.

I suggest that you evaluat the situation with more facts than assumptions and then consider what would be right for you. That way you will be making a more educated decision.

Answer 4

I never say leave a person but I want to say that your situation is sooo much like mine. I know this is your question but want to give examples, I met my ex, bought him clothes, changed his style from whuuuut to wooooow, let him drive one of my cars when his died and he would come home later and later by the week. I call it brand new when a man changes as his circumstances get better especially when it is due to the woman. It sounds to me like he has no respect for you, same as with me, and when that happens things don't get better. Love and/or respect would bring him home after work or at least call and say hey, i'm going here, be home at this time. Not helping with your child also says that he doesn't view you as a person. If a person loves you, really loves you then you don't have to question it. Most times when they are they don't have conversation or time for you. Every question you ask no matter how innocent they blow up at you or they start an argument to give them reason to leave the house and stay gone to 'cool off'. It will only hurt you trying to carry a relationship on your own. No, don't leave and take care of your child yourself, he WILL take care of his child if you do things the right way but you deserve to be happy, you derserve to be love and you deserve to get back what you give. Imagine if you gave HIM what he gives you. Wonder what would happen if you started to do things that made you happy just going shopping, getting your nails done, a night out with the girls.....he would flip because he KNOWS that you will be home.
Good luck with this and remember be true to you and your child.

Answer 5

I'm sure your job and his is demanding as with a child. Can you both be civil enough and agree to get some marriage cons ling. It might not help but at least a couple times and you Can both say you truly tried ever thing and it is just not going to work. If it is not mean to be then it is not to be. But you both said until death do us part, in sickness and in health for richer or poorer. It si sad to see any one go this way. I always think about my folks they had over 50yrs so did my mothers folks. I know it is not a rose garden in our marriage or any ones for that matter but i have always felt i made a promise I'm going to do my very best to keep it. Come hell or high water. Best to you both, like I said if it is to be then it is, if not then best go.

Answer 6

this marriage is perfect for one thing,
that is to learn from it!
if you had problems when u were engaged,
there could not be a good enough reason in this world, to go on with the marriage.
the only right thing for u to do, is to focus on u'r baby.
and regardless of u'r decision with u'r husband, do not, listen, do not have anymore babies!!!
important! step back and study what u did, and do better in the future, when baby is at 18 years of age.
by then u would have learned, whats right.
and regardless of anyone tell u to live u'r life, it's not only u'rs any longer.
be a mom first then a women later.
for baby's sake.

Answer 7

Your hubby needs to be told how you feel. He is mostly in the dark here. Yes you have brought things up that you want changed but not in a way that he understands. He does not understand you insecurities and he needs to.
Both of you need to sit down and talk about what you both expect from each other and how you can go about achieving this together.
Your husband does love you, this girl "friend" of his, is really just a friend. You feel threatened by her because she is in a position YOU want to be, this open with your hubby, you want him as a best friend. HE does not know this.
Open up to him and not in a demanding way. I think both of you need to make some changes for each other.
That man that you fell in love with is still in there. I think you have pushed him into hiding though....lol.

Answer 8

Sound's like a typical male though. ( jerk man, there are loads of them) Most men don't want to help out too much with babies, they tend to interact with them more when they are a little bit older, like 2 or 3. but if you are miserable, get out. You have to weigh the pro's and the con's, the baby will have to not have both it's parents, biological ones anyway, and it can get messy..

Answer 9

The first thing you should do is talk to him. See if he will go to counseling with you. If not, try going by yourself first. Talking to someone helps and talking to him may make him realize how serious you are. I have been in the same situation and still not sure what to do sometimes.

Anyway, good luck.

Answer 10

Tell him your upset with him as you are his wife and need attention.
Always try to talk things out first.
A marriage counseller would be good.
But also dont live a loveless life.
l new l had no love for my first wife we split up it was just we grew apart.
Now l am remarried very happy now.

Answer 11

I would go with your heart if the love is gone move on,
If you hubby likes the Internet better than you,leave him and the net,