I have a friend whose wanted to file for a divorce to her husband. I was thinking if her decision is right. They were 20 years appart in ages. She married the guy when she was 21, and shes aware that theyre not going to have kids as he have been fixed. Now that she realized that she wanted to have a kids, after a few years of being married, shes thinking about a divorce to find another man and have kids. She said shes not happy and wasnt sure if she still love him, the hubby was really really nice to her, he didnt do anything to her, its just he cant give her a kid so I feel sorry for her hubby as he is old now and needs a companion, I just found out last week that he needs a lot of surgery and the house that theyre living wasnt him anymore, it will be my friends house after the divorce. He used to be the primary financial before, now that my friend is divorcing him, he needs to move out after the divorce. Is divorcing him is the right soulution?just wanna hear a opinion. thanks.
2007-10-13 12:36:11 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My friend and her hubby didnt talk about adoption i told her bout that options but nope! she dont want it. Because her hubby deeply inlove with her, he said a word that hes still watching her to make sure that she will find a guy who will treat her nice. I felt so sad when I heard that. :(
2007-10-13 16:05:57 · update #1
FYI: I just listen to my friend and give advice/suggestion if needed. I never put my self in the middle of her situation cause I knew she knew what shes doing and what she think is right. Just wanna hear any opinon from somebody else here. thanks.
2007-10-13 16:10:01 · update #2
I think your friend is selfish and stupid. You should avoid being her friend, the way she acts without remorse and moral stature, you can't rely on her and have confidence.
A true parasite.
But maybe the poor man is still better off without her, she might put the wrong medicine in his food to get rid of him.
What a jerk.
Poor kid to have such a mother should she ever find some sucker to get her pregnant.
2007-10-13 12:45:50 · answer #1 · answered by GreenEyes 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure this is children issue? i think there is more to meet the eye. If the reason is having kids, then your friend is not telling you the truth. She know what she is getting into by marrying that guy, And knowing he has a house, and he is much older. Are you that sure she is that innocent? Are you sure she has no one waiting outside? If your friend regrets marrying him, she should divorce him now, but do the way she came in. Empty handed. Love has nothing to do with having kids or not, it's a mutual feeling between two sincere adults. Sorry but i think your friend has more than 1 reason for a divorce. Stay away.
2007-10-13 13:15:00 · answer #2 · answered by bundy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI,
I have to agree with those people that responded who think she was just getting her hooks into what she thought at the time was a free ride.
It doesn't sound like she has discussed adoption or any alternatives with him, just decided she's not happy and she'll try moving on to someone else she can take advantage of.
Hopefully you are wrong and her husband will be smart, get a good attorney and keep the house himself.
As to whether you friend is right, she may be doing this man a big favor by leaving him. It sure doesn't sound like she's doing anything for him by staying.
The only thing I can add is the thought that since he was old enough to be her father, I guess he should have been old enough to make a better decision about marrying her in the first place.
2007-10-13 13:12:25 · answer #3 · answered by Grannie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My opinion is that it is between the two of them, and if I were their friend, I wouldn't want to be responsible for urging a course of action. Academically, I think he used her by marrying someone so much younger. He knew there was too much age difference for a proper physical, intellectual or
emotional relationship. His chickens have came home- or what comes around, goes around. You can't blame her for wanting a family, but she should have thought about that earlier. My guess is she has someone waiting in the wings. She was looking for a father figure when she married. Now , when faced with responsibility, she wants to escape. She should not jump into another relationship, or even jump into a divorce. Some counselling would be a very good idea.
2007-10-13 13:05:12 · answer #4 · answered by choo-Choos Mom 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No one can really answer that question except for your friend. Divorcing someone because they can't have any children isn't a reason for divorce especially if she knew this prior to marriage which I am assuming she did. If she doesn't love him then that is a different story. Staying married to someone who you aren't truly in love with isn't right either. But she has to realize that she shouldn't get the house. It was his prior to their marriage and it should be his. But what do I know I am not a lawyer. I actually feel sorry for her. If I left my husband, he can have everything.
2007-10-13 12:50:50 · answer #5 · answered by Just Want To B Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whats up, once you adult adult males were given married, i assume that you recited some type of vows that stated something about, "more desirable or worse", top? nicely for the time of any form of "worse" situations or situations at the same time as issues at the prompt are not perfect, it truly is the time that a married couple could educate the affection they say they have. My chum, in case you haven't, take a at the same time as to positioned in writing precisely what you want to say for your spouse, I recommend truly destroy it right down to your self first. Then talk at the same time with her. once you've already finished that, then truly ask your self when you're waiting to make to flow in route of divorce courtroom. it isn't honest of me to say that you should divorce her, it quite is an particularly own decision. i wager you should ask your self, how deep is your love for her? How lengthy are you going to put up at the same time with her habit. also, undergo in techniques that she will be going throught something own herself. perchance she is scared or stress out herself and purely would not understand precisely a thanks to certain it? you're the guy and has the guy it is your interest to often times carry the marriage at the same time as issues get rocky. Make any and all efforts to strengthen your marriage; which could recommend giving her some area, many times speaking her, or perhaps marriage counseling. My factor is this, in case you actually love your spouse and favor your marriage, ascertain you're leaving no stone unturned , so once you should split of divorce her, you'll understand that you gave it your all.
2016-10-09 04:23:33 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do not think divorcing him is right in ways and i think it is right in ways the poor husband think about his feelings here and also your friend should be happy with him she married him anyway but really just because they can't have a kid? I also think it is right because you said she is not happy. your friend is in a fix here. you made a good choice in staying out of the middle but are you sure you know she knows what she is doing?
2007-10-13 16:19:45 · answer #7 · answered by Fruiti Patuti 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. First, life is short and if you are not happy it's not fair to you or your spouse to remain married. She should talk to him about that, next leaving someone because they can't give you a child is wrong on so many levels because of the options out there, then thinking of his health, it is not especially nice to leave someone who is sick but it is no where near fair to stay with someone JUST because they are sick. It must be tough, thinking of leaving someone that has been good to you and hasn't hurt you that is why I think they should talk, it could be that he feels bad that he can't give her children as much as she does. That opens the door to other options. I hope this goes well without anyone getting hurt. If they are financially able to get a sperm donor they could go through the pregnancy together and the child be a part of her for them both to love.
I wish them so much luck!!
But please, remind her (as I have recently learned) finding a man that treats you well is almost never done. My finance loves me and our son to peices but he is the silliest, goofiest person I have EVER met. I have contemplated leaving him hoping to find someone with more confidence and "Im the man" type of personality but what would I give up to have that? A man that loves me and all of my crazy ways. For me, that's a noooo brainer. I could end up with a smoothe, confident abuser, cheater, person with no respect for me, anything so I choose to stay with what is good.
2007-10-13 12:53:28 · answer #8 · answered by betterthanhers 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, that's kind of shallow. To divorce a guy just because he can't have kids. The guy never did anything to her. Why can't she just adopt for now or go to a sperm bank? I just think divorcing an old man just for that reason is kind of mean and heartless.
2007-10-13 12:41:29 · answer #9 · answered by **Mystica** 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
she is focusing on the one thing he can't give her, instead of all the good in him. he is getting old and sick and she just doesn't want to deal with him anymore, so she has decided to kick him to the curb before he becomes a burdon to her. i would say she is selfish, and its sad for him because he needs someone and it will be hard for him at his age to find another. the real reason and only reason to divorce someone is betrayal, and abuse, other than that the reasons she has aren't good ones.
2007-10-13 12:59:54 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋