The pop of my gum
The sound of Anza pencil tapping
The beep of Jessicas cell phone
Timmy's kicking Steven
Steven's bothering Austin
Brendon's making an @ss of himself
I turn to Jess and smile
She knows what I'm thinking
Finally the bell rings
Thank freakin' god
And the heavens above
I can finally get out
Of English class
NOTE: This is a poem I'm going to attempt to write in my friends Yearbook, you don't know who these people are (unless you're in my school)...so judge it on the flow and sh!t like that...not the meaning..
2007-10-13 09:32:13 · 9 answers · asked by ♫♥░Kelze is like WOAH░♥♫ 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
it reminds me of those street poems in artsy poetry clubs!! lots of feeling an personality, onlee loolsy restricted by the rules, i love it, when i read it aloud i see the loose rhyming structure. usually i might advise to find a wider vocabulary perhaps to be able to have more werds in ur arsenal to rhyme weth but i liek it jus as it is :-} ♥ i wd love to have a poem liek that in my yearbook
ps: shes asking for critique of her poem!! X//D how is that not a question?? yahoo has a poetry section right? Jesus, Mary Joseph.
2007-10-13 09:53:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should really tone it down on the "gay" stuff. It's a powerful poem, but "gay" doesn't sound right in some parts. Put this in the English section of Y! Answers.
2016-05-22 06:26:36 · answer #2 · answered by syreeta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i give it a 3 out of 10
2007-10-13 09:36:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I like it, your poem reminds me of what I'm usually doing in my English class.
@->-->-
2007-10-13 10:24:48 · answer #4 · answered by Chimpanzees? Monkey. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yah i like what joey said *smiles* u could almost turn it into a rap song an put it to music *tickles u* good work kid!!
2007-10-13 10:16:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
it really doesn't have any rhythm...sorry... I did like the content though. Not a bad poem, just not my style.
2007-10-13 09:37:47 · answer #6 · answered by me 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry but, Yahoo Answers is for people to ask questions. Not to show off poems. If you dont stop putting poems on Yahoo Answers, I'm going to have to erase your account and all of your saved stuff on Yahoo. Sorry.
2007-10-13 09:53:30 · answer #7 · answered by Yahoo Answers Police Force 1 · 0⤊ 6⤋
Very cool!
2007-10-13 09:35:34 · answer #8 · answered by lolita 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha i love it. its very to the point and has great imagery.
2007-10-13 10:46:17 · answer #9 · answered by nybabyblu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋