For a good few years now, my sexual desire and passion for my husband has pretty much diminished. It wasn't always like this... We both wondered if it was something hormonal, etc. and always believed that something was wrong with me since he has the desire and need to go multiple times a day. Even though I'm not interested in having sex with him per se, I do masturbate and have been turned on by other men.
What do you think the problem is? Can I ever have the passionate, must-have-sex-now feeling back for him that I crave? I know that I'm not dead down there! oh, and yes, he is willing to do whatever I want him to in bed... I'm just not interested - with him. WHAT HAPPENED??!
2007-10-13 09:00:34 · 10 answers · asked by girl 123 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
find a boyfriend
2007-10-13 09:09:38 · answer #1 · answered by Billie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing so I know where your coming from. I want you to know there's hope!! It wasn't that I fell out of love but I just wasn't interested in sex with him. So I had to learn ways to get the passion back. My husband was willing to do what ever as well and for me that was a big step to show me he loved me and wanted just me. I mean most guys would probably just let it go after a while and end up having an affair. Well I realized that there were things about sex I wanted to do but kept thinking he would think I was sexually crazy. So I was afraid to tell him what I fantasizede about . Of course it was with him I fantasized about doing anything with, I was just afraid he would think it was to ...OVER THE TOP? But one day I decide what the hell have I got to lose? If I want to have a great sex life with him then I have to be honest and open about things. So I finially told him and WOW!!! He was like so in to it to. We don't get into a threesome people so don't go there! It's about me and him.
You may be able to get turned on by other men because those other men don't know you or love you the way he does. And you may be afraid to open up to him where as a stranger you can do it and forget it ,kind of thing. So just be up front with him. If you have desires and fantasies weather it's a threesome, or role play or you might want to do a strip tease for him, just tell him. Keep masturbating and if you don't already watch porn then try it to, with him and alone. Nothing wrong with that. Any thing that helps then go for it. GOOD LUCK.
2007-10-13 09:31:38 · answer #2 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For women, and for men also to an extent, sexual desire is twisted up with intimacy. If you don't spend time, don't' talk, on a deep level, not a shallow one, you loose intimacy over time.
I don't think your sexual desire for him will come back until you spend time alone with him talking and breaking down walls between you.
If you go to other men who do turn you on now, the excitement will take you through the first few times, then you'll be in the same boat as you are now.
2007-10-13 09:06:54 · answer #3 · answered by pansyblue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be still sexual if you are thinking of other men. Do you think of others when masturbating. This may seem bad but try thinking about him being with other women it may make you want him more.
Role playing to spice things up could be good too. My wife wrote an article on associated content. I couldn't get the this to submit the link. If interested email me and I'll send you the link.
2007-10-13 10:37:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
oftentimes do no longer study long posts yet you're in the same place i'm. We have been seperated, temporarily in spite of the indisputable fact that it went horribly for the youngsters. the marriage works for us as a new child elevating and economic partnership and that i'm staying for now and made my peace with that. the super situations spent with the youngsters outweigh the negatives with the spouse. yet I do understand the no longer attracted area. we've intercourse at 0.5 the fee you do and purely whilst she initiates it. the different attempt is rebuffed. i grow to be pissed and unhappy on the start yet I moved on. what's helped for me is i'm getting a masters and shifting directly to a sparkling occupation and known jobs. My spouse has gotten activity (which i understand remains a controversy for you) so as long as she keeps it, economic independence from one yet another can finally ensue. Counseling didnt paintings for us and that i'm uncertain this is going to. To many things approximately me rub her the incorrect way and actual we are too distinctive-and stubborn-to alter i assume. Will issues replace? Who is familiar with. i'm waiting till the youngsters are in center college and the two one persons have had jobs for some years formerly making any transformations. till then i'm purely preserving busy. Drop me a PM in case you desire...solid luck otherwise
2016-12-18 06:39:46 · answer #5 · answered by kreitman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is an awsome book I've recently read by Dr. Kevin Leman called Sheet Music. Look it up online or in a book store. Hope it helps!!
2007-10-13 09:14:27 · answer #6 · answered by Tabbitha M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called getting comfortable with each other. Marriage, passion and love take effort, they don't just happen. You have to work hard to make it last.
2007-10-13 09:04:28 · answer #7 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
has he gained weight...do you not find him sexually attractive...
look at the other men that turn you on and see what you like about them and then look at your husband and see if you find the same things in them..
this is normal and it happens to many of us....maybe his physical appearnaces have changed...people often forget to keep up their appearances for their spouses..I think it's very important to keep up your figure for your spouse..
S.exual attraction starts with physical appearance
Often if we like what we see, we want it...it's not different with s.ex
2007-10-13 09:07:17 · answer #8 · answered by Na 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have him portray a role or certain profession... add some spice
2007-10-13 09:30:53 · answer #9 · answered by momof3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
next try body.. choc.,, oils increses your drive .. hope it works for you
2007-10-13 09:11:13 · answer #10 · answered by rpetch007 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋