You probably don't want to marry. Is it really bad to have children out of wedlock? Would you do it? Have you done it?
I want to have another baby. However, the man that I am with is NOT my husband... and probably will never be my husband.
I do have two children from my first marriage. But I really don't think I want to marry again.
2007-10-13 08:30:41 · 36 answers · asked by Miss Kelly 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
I guess the first question is why you want to have another child.
I don't see a problem having a child out of wedlock, but that assumes that the child will have loving parents to care for him or her.
You've got two children already, which reduces the amount of time you have to give to a third. If you're not living with the man who may be this baby's father, then the child is starting life with one parent instead of two.
It doesn't sound like a great idea. When you consider the state of the earth, and our dwindling natural resources, it's probably better to restrict the number of children that anyone has.
My advice is to do all you can for your first two kids, and not think about having a third.
2007-10-13 08:37:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The religious side of me says marriage then babies, but the real question is do you feel that this guy is long term relationship material? I understand the not wanting to get married again but is this a guy that you would want to have involved in your life regardless if you are dating or not. Having a baby is way more than you and that child and having a strong family unit greatly affects the way children will develope. I know people who do not get married and have children together and they have been together for 15-20 years. Does it really make a difference if there is a piece of paper? Just think about what is best for a child and your current situation. Is it seroius???
2007-10-13 08:40:05 · answer #2 · answered by anyhoo085 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to ask, How Old Are You? okay no lie when I was 16-20 I wanted a baby from someone I prob. wouldnt even talk to more than once a week but we talked and he was cute! But now I am married and thank GOD I didnt have children with anybody else no matter how bad it seemed right. I dont condone children out of wedlock but things happen but if u intentionally do it, then thats ur bus. There are a lot of things to consider and I guess u think since u have 2 kids and ur not with ur husband that one more without being married is okay! Well think about the kids and not ur self.
2007-10-13 08:39:47 · answer #3 · answered by leg1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a baby with my ex husband (I got pregnant,had bay and then we got a divorce) Now I'm with another guy (which I refer to as my husband-we live together,he acts as my sons father and he's better to me then my husband ever was) and I'm pregnant..We planned it and we're both so excited.
I think I just figured that the last marriage failed and I was miserable so why go through it again.
I'm happy where I'm at in my life and even though I do believe people should get married before sex and babies,I just don't think it works for me..maybe that makes me a hypacryte,but it also makes me less judgemental towards other sinlge parents,unwed mothers and father etc...
As long as that baby is loved and cared for,I guess it doesn't matter if the parents are married (especially if they'll just get divorced anyway) or only has one parent or has two mommies or two daddies...thats the way the world is now days..........
2007-10-13 09:20:31 · answer #4 · answered by calebsmom85 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What about all the complications it may cause for the child if you do have a baby out of wedlock. What if you and the guy don't end up living together for the rest of your lives? What if he wants to fight for custody if you don't? But if he wants to marry you, give him a chance! You may not have had a great first marriage but whose to say that your second one will be bad as well?!
2007-10-13 08:45:56 · answer #5 · answered by Nikki L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anymore there is no difference if someone is married or not. There is a such thing as a divorce, so whether married or not, nothing is ever 100% forever. This is just the chance people take. The only difference is that someone will have a different last name then the baby... whether be the father or mother. Good Luck!!! Happy baby making!
2007-10-13 08:40:24 · answer #6 · answered by jerri_k02 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a daughter out of wedlock. We aren't married because he went through a horrible divorce and is very leery. We might someday get married but you need to ask yourself if you want to use this guy to have another child or do you truely love him and just dont want to get married again. If a child is born into a loving family married or not I think thats fine. But if you don't want to get married again because you dont want to marry this guy then dont do it. Remeber he would always be the babys father. Would he make a good one?
2007-10-13 08:38:10 · answer #7 · answered by lily197924 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I know of people who have never been married but have a very committed relationship with a specific person.
As long as you are quite sure you are in a stable relationship with the person and aren't planning on going anywhere, there shouldn't be a big problem.
I don't know how religious you are, but the Bible tells us not to have sex out of wedlock. I base my life on the Bible, so no, I would not do it. My husband and I didn't have sex before marriage either.
But it's your choice, and nobody's place to judge you!
Good luck =)
2007-10-13 09:09:37 · answer #8 · answered by Ethan-Mikyle's Mommy! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have mixed feelings about this... I think its great that single women have babies. However, I do think that kids do need some male figure in their life. I think having a baby with this man would be okay, as long as he sticks around to be involved in the kids life.
This is just my opinion, so I'm not saying either way if this is right or wrong. You do what you feel is best. Only you can make the best decision for your life.
2007-10-13 08:39:55 · answer #9 · answered by Rye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of marriage, you're genetically bound to this person for life and legally bound to knowing them for at least 18 years. If this is someone you can't picture spending the rest of your life with, even as just friends, then you should rethink your plan to make a child with them. Maybe you should be a little more speficic as to what your relationship with thi person is like. When it comes down to it, having a child is a much more serious commitment than getting married to begin with - that little person is completely dependant on both of you, not only financially but emotionally as well. If this isn't a person you can be civil with for the extent of those 18 years then you need to rethink the entire idea. Just my honest opinion.
2007-10-13 08:37:55 · answer #10 · answered by angelunloved 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋