my fiancé and I agreed that one night a month, we should each have a "night out" to go to a movie, shoot pool, or do as we wish. I think it's a good idea, as no couple needs to be together 100% of the time. Anyway, I made plans to go out, and he agreed that he would be home @ a certain time to be with the kids while I went out for a couple of hours. He didn't get home until midnight, and by then it was too late for me to go anywhere. I think he did it on purpose to keep me from going out. What do you think and how would you deal with this situation?
2007-10-13 07:24:36 · 12 answers · asked by Ms. GTO 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have "date nights" too
2007-10-13 07:36:48 · update #1
I would go out the next night while he stayed home.
2007-10-13 07:44:50 · answer #1 · answered by Elizabeth J 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would be very careful with this--it sounds like you're trying to keep score on who gets to go out what time, how long each person was gone so that the other gets "equal time." Marriage doesn't work that way. There are times my husband gets more time to do the things he enjoys and I get practically none. Then there are times that it's reversed. It all evens out in the long run.
I think to solve this problem in the future you guys can do 1 of 2 things. Either plan separate nights for "alone" time, that way you're not dependent upon his coming home at a pre-arranged time so that you can go out with your friends...OR hire a babysitter.
And while I agree that married couples don't need to spend 100% of their time together, I think going out separately is asking for trouble. You guys don't spend 100% of your time together anyway, unless you both work together. So you spend all day, at least 5 days a week, apart from each other. Why would you also want to spend evenings apart as well, at least on a regular, planned basis? Sorry, I've been very happily married for 20 years (almost), and my husband and I don't have "planned" nights where we go out without each other. It happens, but not very often, and usually when one of us is out of town.
2007-10-13 14:36:29 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what you mean by having date nights?
If it's just the two of you getting together without the children, then it's a great idea.
I wouldn't let go of the fact that he wasn't home in time without a good explanation.
And, he would owe me two nights. So, I'd go out twice in the same month to catch up on what he deprived me of, on purpose or not! Tougth!
2007-10-13 14:43:07 · answer #3 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
next time give him the time you plan on going out and if he's not home by that time call a sitter and call his cell if he has one, just to let him know that he has a sitter to get home. Also try have a night that you can both go out separate or together. But remember you don't need him to have a night out.
2007-10-13 14:45:38 · answer #4 · answered by Amber L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me and my hubbie have a night out each, every week. I like it because it gives me a chance to do my thing on my own away from home/him/kids.
If you think he is trying to sabatoge your plans, you need to talk to him and figure out why he did that. Or tell him next time he plans to pull something like that he can pay for and provide a babysitter.
2007-10-13 14:41:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't start all that tit for tat stuff as it isn't worth it. Make arrangements to go out again and make it plain to him that he owes you for letting you down last time. If you can get one of your parents as a back up if he goes on the missing list but don't tell him.
2007-10-13 14:36:54 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Dan. Tell the other person not to jump to conclusions about him having a affair.
2007-10-13 14:35:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say you are right. Hire a babysitter and go out anyway. Find out where he goes too. He may be cheating on you and so thinks you might cheat too. So he way layed you.
2007-10-13 14:31:36 · answer #8 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
girl going out seperately if your married is always going to lead to trouble, its safer to get a baby sitter and go out together, or get together with other couples and do the group thing. if you go out with the girls, he is thinking your going to be enticed by single guys (you may not be so lucky,lol) but thats what he's thinking. good luck
2007-10-13 14:32:13 · answer #9 · answered by puertoricout 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Go out tonight and then again next Friday
2007-10-13 14:30:43 · answer #10 · answered by RAINBOW 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋