what do you guys think of this song?

Question

if it sucks, just say it sucks. if it needs improvement, just make suggestions. be honest.

i look out my window,
and what do i see?
a big pink flower,
staring back at me.

and i wonder,
how these things,
always happen to me...

Where is my money,
where are my rings,
where is the luck that has to,
bring me these things?

i wnna be famous,
i wanna be rich,
i wanna see little girls lookin' up to me,
and wondering what i did...

i read GL magazine,
(And) i read seventeen,
all these stars, all these people,
why can't that be me?

where are my chocolate truffles,
imported from spain,
where is my suit-wearing chauffer,
with my limosine?

i wanna be famous,
i wanna be rich,
i wanna see fans everywhere i turn,
what's so wrong with this?

i wanna be famous,
i wanna be rich,
i wanna see people at my concerts,
is there something wrong with this?

i wanna be famous,
and i wanna be rich,
bet there's no one in this world,
who wants it as much as me.

Answer 1

Your story is of a driven and maybe pompous woman, but your lyrics don't seem so driven. You aren't emotionally deep enough to pull it off this time.

You need to REALLY want those truffles to convince your audience.

Answer 2

It rather sucked. I'm sorry. It needs more emotion, make it more personal. Right now, it's a song that anyone can sing and understand. Good lyrics make people question, make them ask themselves if they can really relate. Show how you feel, don't just tell us. Good luck.
♥

Answer 3

...that was kind of terrible. sorry.