her fiancee begged my mom not to be there and we gave in. his parents appeared and gave her a diamond ring. the fiancee said his folks didn't want us. i don't know why. after the 'ceremony' my sis come home in tears and said she felt like a meat decorated with jewels.
his folks are not superior to us in any way. he is totally dependent on his parents. anyway they got married. everyday she seems distant and confused. she talks only money with us now and disrespects us a lot. suddenly she called and asked for 'her assets' to be given to her. now she's on a trip with them. me and my mother we fear that they are after her inheritence (dad died just before marriage). he keeps totally secret all his financial stuff with his family and wants to know all about ours. she started accusations that me and my mom we are not able to handle our finances.
we fear that she is subtly taken advante of.
the worst thing is to see her like this.
she's always uptight and fights a lot without reason.
2007-10-13 06:37:12 · 11 answers · asked by sarah kay 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Since you can pinpoint the beginning of your sister's aberrant behavior to the coincidence of her engagement to her now-husband, it's reasonable to conject that her association with his family is somehow the cause. Sadly this type of thing is not particularly uncommon, but if it helps you to know this, people usually revert back to their normal selves after life kicks them in the a s s a little bit. Trying to figure out exactly why won't do much for you except frustrate you, because ultimately there is no good reason to turn your back on your family. But we've all been guilty of it to some degree at one time or another, and it invariably passes leaving us humbled enough to see who's really got our backs. So, let it ride for now (and maybe just accept it as an annoying rite of passage you sister just has to go through to get over). When life has dealt with her sufficiently, she'll be back, and you'll get a better sister in the process. As best as you and your mom can manage, continue to be there for her...good luck in this endeavor.
2007-10-13 08:55:24 · answer #1 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, I want to say I'm proud of you. It sounds like you've gone through alot and matured quickly. Don't ever let anyone put you down. Second, do what your heart and mind feels is right...but always thinking about your daughter, who is most important. But thinking that you might end up divorced again isnt a great way to start off another marriage. Maybe you should talk to a counslor or somebody who can help with these fears. Anytime you get married or start a relationship with someone you are taking a risk. But you always hope for the best not the worst. And of course you know that. But maybe getting everything out in the open will make it easier for you. When YOU feel it's right to get married, then you should. It sounds like you found "the one" this time. God Bless and Good Luck!!!
2016-05-22 05:53:24 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time you and your mother had a good, old fashioned, talk with "Mrs. High N. Mighty." She has some outside influence pressuring her to get her inheritance now. Tell your mother she should say, "A person receives their inheritance after the benefactor has died and I'M NOT DEAD, YET. You won't get yours until then and, if you keep acting like you have since you married, there won't be one." Be smart and DON'T reveal any financial information regardless of what your sister says. Tell her that if she is coming to argue and fight, to stay away until she gets her head straight.
My son married a greedy pig and she thought she couldn't wait. She had pressured him to ask for his inheritance and he refused. One day while visiting she worked up the courage and said to me, "I want our inheritance now. if you die way up here, out of state, we won't get anything." If you had been standing nearby you would have seen fire coming from my eyes. I stepped up close, shook my finger in her face, and said, "You have your share of my estate; you got 2 children out of my son's body and that's all YOU get." A year later she divorced my son and took off with a worthless deputy sheriff.
2007-10-13 07:25:59 · answer #3 · answered by Laredo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So your sister's fiance's parents gave her a ring and they got married. Then your sister came to your Mom's house announcing she wanted her assets.
Did your Mom ask sis was assets she was talking about? Might be time to remind sis that even though daddy is no longer around, he and mom's stuff still belongs to mom and not her.
If you are living with mom, helping to care for mom and her stuff, great. If you continue to live with mom, she may give that stuff to you for helping her out. That would be none of sis's business.
Sis allowed you and Mom to be cut out from an important part of her life, her engagement part. She is further distancing you from her life and allowing her fiance and his family to control her. Protect your financial well being from them and her. Just keep your love open to her.
Being a loving sister and a loving Mother of a foolish woman doesn't require you to be as foolish as her.
2007-10-13 07:00:17 · answer #4 · answered by Wendy G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yo, that stinks! It looks like they are hiding something or obviously keeping something secret, but there is no excuse for any side of the family to be kept out of such a special celebration. There is something really fishy going on. I would suggest you guys put aside your anger and grudges about the wedding for another time and try to support your sister. She is still family and sooner or later she is going to need the help of people who truly care and love her. Its just a matter of time. Thats life. Its important that you guys be there for her. I think she'll come around. Good luck.
2007-10-13 06:53:19 · answer #5 · answered by puertoricout 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It certainly doesn't sound like the typical girl meets prince charming and lives happily ever after. All you can, and must, do is protect your assets and keep all your personal information private! You would benefit from an attorney's advice!
2007-10-13 07:21:08 · answer #6 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A. Protect yourselves both financially and emotionally.
B. Try to help your sister if you don't have to violate A. above.
She is old enough to take care of herself, just be there for advise as things unfold.
2007-10-13 06:43:51 · answer #7 · answered by GoodGuy53 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, I lost my brother to a women like this. We were very close and I miss him but he fell under her spell and as far as I know is still with her today. I wish you luck and peace
2007-10-13 17:44:14 · answer #8 · answered by coolmommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your suspicions sounds about right
time to button up about your finances
cut her out of any estate planning that your mother has done
and put her assets in a trust
excluding your sister
2007-10-13 06:50:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep your info to yourself, when asked just say hey thats private. if she is getting taken for a ride there really isn't much you can do.
2007-10-13 06:42:31 · answer #10 · answered by paula t. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋