i'm a christian and everything, and as of right now (almost15) i don't plan on having sex anytime in the near future. but i was wondering, does it really matter? do you guys out there really care if your future wife is a virgin?
2007-10-13 04:23:49 · 23 answers · asked by Not-so-angelic (MWAHAHA) 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
yes is it very important. at least it is to Christian guys like myself. I will only marry a girl that has saved herself, and I am saving myself for her.
2007-10-13 06:10:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 4⤋
Most guys don't care, we just don't want to know details if you know what I mean. (We never want to be the first, there's too much pressure to make the first time a "magical experience." But we don't want to think you've had better either.)
As one of the "parent types" around here, with 2 marriages and a lot of divorced friends worth of experience I can tell you this. When a marriage goes bust it's usually about one or more of these 3 things. who does how much housework; who spends how much money; or who wants more/less sex than the other person in the marriage.
I'm a Christian too, but I have come to think that there should be a "1 year trial" before marriage, to see if any of those 3 things will be a problem before anyone makes a lifetime commitment. So keep that in the back of your mind if anyone tried to tell you "save it for your wedding night."
2007-10-14 06:56:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on your views and everything! Do what you want, don't feel pressured to have sex early, but don't deny your natural urges if you find yourself in a happy relationship and wanting to have (safe) sex.
Most people no longer save themselves for marriage, and even in the past when it was more important, and in some cultures, a lot of people still don't!
Most guys shouldn't care if the girl is a virgin or not if they like her, most people aren't virgins at marriage now anyway so I expect most people don't care. It really depends if you want to get married or not and if you believe sex is an important part of marriage or not (see if you're compatible) and if you trust that the guy won't have had sex or will never cheat on you (and I could never trust a guy like that)
2007-10-14 06:41:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No...
I have a brother in laws brother and his girlfriend been happy together since 15 and now in 30s...
Compare that to all the stars marriages which end up in divorce and hating each other in a few years or months then fighting over money
Marriage does not improve things or result in happy ever after a good half break up most in a nasty way.
All that matters is you like and fancy each others, are well suited, pregress together and like ding similar things sex wise.
Plus you are assuming you meet mr right straight away... what if you never do or dont till 45 and after menopause, or till30 or miss out as no good at dating or kissing and mess it up as having had no practice.
how do you know if you are suited sexaully withotu being sexaul and finding out what you both like.
ie he may be into type up and pain gmes and stuff involving pee.
you may not be.
maybe something you like and he will hate.
Also why miss out on all that teen partying and dating fun?
people dont want to make out in cars and cineama and spin the bottle later in life or have fun dates playing stuff etc. when older...Do you see older people making out like couples your own age... etc
2007-10-14 04:54:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you don't know in advance who your husband will be and what his value system will be, saving yourself is really something you do for yourself (or for God if you beieve that He expects you to remain a virgin). As long as you feel that it is important stick with it. But as a matter of fact, in most of the Western world the majority of men would deem other qualities more important in a wife than her being a virgin in the wedding night.
2007-10-13 11:29:30 · answer #5 · answered by cyranonew 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously there are diseases and everything out there that make sex seem pretty risky. (it can be!)
I've seen both sides. I was NOT a virgin when I got married and am not ashamed about that at all. I do have friends who waited and now they are in their 30's and wonder what it would be like to be with someone else because they don't have anything to compare to. It's not always realistic.
In the end, it is YOUR choice.
2007-10-13 12:24:53 · answer #6 · answered by itsallgood 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In todays society it doesn't matter, the average person has something like 7 sexual partners. Saving yourself, the state of virginity and marriage are all just human creations, they dont really matter. At least not to me, I couldn't care less if my future
wife is a virgin, i don't expect it.
2007-10-13 23:14:17 · answer #7 · answered by Dylan 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i belive in saving yourself not neccasarilly for marriage but until your in a commited and loving relationship were u know both parties (the boy and the girl) care about one another enough to take precautions and responsibility for sex im 17 and im still a virgin me and my boyfriend have been together almost 2 years we love each other very much but we both feel the time isnt right for sex we both have to much going to have a baby (and i know with precautions that wont happen but as always the negativews out way the postives)
2007-10-13 16:35:50 · answer #8 · answered by Bookybell 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I told my daughter that she only has her virginity for as long as she decides, and that she can only give it to one person. So if her first time is over in 8 seconds(teenage boys aren't known for their stamina), and then the guy pulls his pants up, and runs out the door, that is the memory that she will have for the rest of her life. Of course it only gets worse if pregnancy happens. If a girl can wait that long, then she sends out a message about strong she is, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. A relationship is supposed to make you stronger, and if you have proved how strong you are, then you will be that much farther ahead. Absolutely, it matters.
2007-10-13 21:39:27 · answer #9 · answered by D G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to marry a very religious guy, then yes it might matter to him.
But to be honest, it sounds like you are already having doubts.
If you're the kind of girl that wants to have sex before marriage, or if you want to be with a guy who will accept you no matter what... I say nah...
The guy I'm with loves me more than anything and I definitely was not a virgin when we met : )
It depends on what you want, and in turn... What the man you want to be with wants... Your values should be aligned..
Hope this helps!
And don't worry...
Times change... That's a very old ideal and in my opinion it keeps you from truly enjoying life.
No, you don't need sex to enjoy life,
But I'm so grateful that I had sexual partners, because geeze I definitely wouldn't want to be stuck with some of the guys I've slept with before...especially my first. They were terrible!
Now I'm with a beautiful and understanding guy who knows how to touch me and make me feel good.
But who knows, you could find that right away!
Good Luck!
2007-10-13 11:32:02 · answer #10 · answered by 1110011100 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
As a women let me explain it to you this way. Giving yourself to a man is special. Why share it with someone who really in the future don't care. All religion aside, its a respect issue. When you get married and you come to your husband as a virgin its a special gift. Save it!! Don't give it away.
2007-10-13 11:28:39 · answer #11 · answered by Michelle 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋