Situation is this.
Up until last week, everything was fine (I truley believe it was). Until she said "I dont think I can go through with it, im not sure" I was in shock, the wedding was all planned, by her, it was all her idea, she asked me picked the location the ring, who was coming... her parents paid for it all, we were going to Maritus! Only last week SHE was talking baby names and such. Now this.
After this bombshell, she said wanted to clear her head and left for a few days, didnt say when she'd be back, didnt ring or text me to let me know shes ok. I've been a mess throwing up blood (cos theres nothing left in my stomach) and I find out shes been clubbing, getting hair cuts and just doesnt seem to care. I'm so hurt and confused, didnt see this coming. Now she will only talk about our money matters. She is very "matter of fact about it all". She says she was pressured, but everything was on her terms. None of it makes sense. Maybe she never loved me? Hasnt even asked if im ok
2007-10-13 03:09:13 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Consider your self lucky#
2007-10-13 03:17:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like she's being very inconsiderate. That is harsh but if I were you, I'd start to think of it as she did you a favor. Maybe it's the best possible thing. Now you know she just wanted out of it. Maybe she wasn't ready or maybe she realized you weren't right for each other. Either way, it would have been a lot worse to have gone through with it and find out later she's not the one. I can't begin to speculate why she did not give more of an explanation for it or why she's seeming so "matter of fact" or unemotional about it. You would think she'd at least give you the explanation you deserved. Maybe you should tell her you want one. Tell her that's the least she can do. You are probably better off without her though you are in pain now and it is all so shocking that it doesn't seem that way. I think time will heal your wounds and you'll be able to find a woman who loves you truly and will be more than happy to walk down the aisle with you. She will be at a loss when that day comes.
2007-10-13 03:26:00 · answer #2 · answered by mickeymel9 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry, but thank god she didn't go through with the marriage. It would've been a disaster. She loved you. She doesn't know who she is or where she is going yet. She is a looong way from being ready to get married. It is not about you--it is all about her.
Go eat, sleep and take care of yourself. This is a huge heartbreak and you sure could use some TLC right now. Don't argue, don't defend, just thank her for not ruining your life by marrying you.
I get the feeling that she does a lot of what she thinks people want to get their approval, but really doesn't have a sense of what she wants and who she really is. Let her go.
Hugs to you. It is all such a shock. I am sorry she wasn't dead honest with you. She sounds impulsive, romantic, self-centered and honest. She won't be back.
2007-10-13 03:22:56 · answer #3 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Start by thanking your lucky stars that you didn't get married to this immature and thoughtless creature. Pack it up and move on down the road. Next time pay attention to the type of woman you are getting involved with, pick one who actually cares about you. As painful as it is, this woman did you a favor.
2007-10-13 04:27:00 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but aren't you glad to find out what type of person she is now instead of 3 months down the road after youalready said I DO and then have legal matters with a nasty divorce
2007-10-13 03:30:30 · answer #5 · answered by oh_jo123 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry but HONESTLY it's better she told you before kids and a marriage. so in that respect CONGRATS to her for being big enough to be honest with you and not just getting married then later saying i was not ready. it's so very much better she let you know NOW!. Yes it will hurt and be confusing but i swear in the long run your better off. As far her doing her own thing well all the more proves she KNEW she was not ready to settle down.
2007-10-13 03:16:27 · answer #6 · answered by golly geesh 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
aww I'm really sorry that happened to you! but look at it this way at least you didn't marry her have a few kids and find that she is that way things would have been even worse. I can feel your pain my fiance left me he "cared about me more than anyone else" he just "didn't know who he loved"
love really does suck sometimes she doesn't actually sound all that grown up...I know it sucks really bad right now and you feel like crap but things will get better I promise
it still sucks but eventually you'll get over it. your young you'll find someone better. she doesn't care. if I were you I'd cut all contacts with her and forget about her. good luck love :)
2007-10-13 03:22:09 · answer #7 · answered by Petra 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are killing yourself over someone who is not worth that price--throwing up blood? PLEASE see your doctor and take care of yourself.
This will tear you apart and hurt for a while, but believe me, FORGET HER!! Just be glad you didnt marry her---she was totally false with you!! Just be glad you didnt marry her and then have to go thru a divorce too. I feel sorry for you, I know it hurts--but later on, down the road, you will be so glad that "she didnt happen."
2007-10-13 03:16:27 · answer #8 · answered by skyward 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is very self absorbed, thank your lucky stars you didn't marry her. I know it hurts now but in time you will see that you dodged a big one. Go out and have a good time, don't stay in and make yourself sick. And for goodness sakes, break off all ties with this selfish woman... Good luck.
2007-10-13 03:45:35 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may have been pressured by society or her family, not necessarily by you.
She probably just realized that you might not be the right one for her, so even though it hurts now, consider how lucky you are that you won't be marrying the wrong person.
2007-10-13 03:13:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't really know what to say....other than to just be grateful that she did this BEFORE you made the mistake of marrying her.
It's pretty obvious that her feelings about the relationship aren't as strong as yours...
to quote Jesus (pretty smart guy, BTW), "Shake the dust from your feet-and leave."
There are plenty of good women out there.
2007-10-13 04:15:27 · answer #11 · answered by Ms. GTO 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋