it took me about an hour to write this much:
Verse: when I felt you touch me,
my life turned into a dream.
it was a feeling i couldnt believe
My heart stayed beating twice as fast.... why didnt my love for you last?
chorus: No one, no one, no one can ever
make dreams last forever,
pretending
wont make anything better....
baby im gonna leave, but we'll pick this back up again
my heart is still to broken to give.....
bridge: I hope you understand, we're still too young to make a plan, but one day our love just may be...........a happy ending
yeah
i havent came up with the second verse yet. So what do you think of it so far? what do you think the title should be? thanx
2007-10-13 02:59:02 · 20 answers · asked by Unknown 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
im 13 yrs old thx
2007-10-13 03:02:39 · update #1
excellent..good job keep up the good work :)
2007-10-13 03:03:18 · answer #1 · answered by ★HigHTƹcH★ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds o.k. The music is what will make it or break it. I would call it "Broken to Give" It's always easier to remember a song when the title is in the chorus (the most memorable part of any song). You want people to remember the name so they can go buy it!
2007-10-13 10:05:56 · answer #2 · answered by Texas Pineknot 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello =D.
firstly i'm not some grammar freak but i guesse you can change to "when i feel you touch me". ?
anyway, the lyrics are looking great..! looks like it's gonna be a nice song, so keep it up girl :) if im you i'd name this song "someday" or "one day" and maybe add the word some time in the lyrics later bcos it's gonna be suitable.. like 'someday /one day we'll be together' kinda thing yea.
good luck for the rest of the lyrics!
2007-10-13 10:06:33 · answer #3 · answered by misseighteen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretty good for a 13 year old. Keep up the good work!
2007-10-13 10:15:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's super good!!! I love to write songs 2. I wouldn't post it on here though because someone might steal it :(.
2007-10-13 10:05:25 · answer #5 · answered by *a little insane* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cool!!xx
2007-10-13 10:02:57 · answer #6 · answered by SUZANNE R 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's pretty good if you post this song in a vedio on youtube you will get 5 stars
:)
2007-10-13 10:05:42 · answer #7 · answered by salma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its brilliant!!
i love it
your title could be:
broken; happy ending; dream
2007-10-13 10:03:29 · answer #8 · answered by Trixx 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
whoa your really good at writing songs, and this is coming from someone who's written almost3 books.
2007-10-13 10:03:21 · answer #9 · answered by musiclover12255 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats great it would of been better if we could hear the music that goes with it
2007-10-13 10:05:14 · answer #10 · answered by sam!!!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good, but I don't know the music so if you could sing it and put the video, it'll be better, but its good. =]
2007-10-13 10:02:07 · answer #11 · answered by =] 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋