The new wife contacts me asking information about the upcoming weekend, informs me when they are doing things, plans child pick-ups, etc. In fact, she was the one who told me about the wedding. It's as if she is his manager. She usually ends the email with telling me I should let her know if she is interfering, although I've told her many times it is not her place and that the children's father should be doing the communication. I guess the angry factor comes from him once again taking the back seat and letting someone else do his work and not having any ownership or accountability.
2007-10-13 02:46:22 · 9 answers · asked by manager 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You do not communicate with any of them. Stick strictly to your divorce agreement. There should be no reason to contact them. However, I would think it would be easier to deal with his wife, as you have no history together, so no animosity.
2007-10-20 23:33:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you are remembering why you dumped him now aren't you?
Sounds like he's a little boy who's always needed a mama to look after him and now he's got one.
I suggest you deal with the woman, who seems a lot more concerned with your well being and managing your kids and since she is going to be in his life from now on and is the stronger force she is the one you will have to reckon with not him.
So let her "manage" him, he obviously needs it, and just make sure you and her are on a good footing.
You are probably somewhat a little resentful of this new person as a third person in your "family's" life but let's face it, she is part of the gang now, so rather than make your life miserable over it, go with the flow and speak up when there is something to speak up over.
Before long you might find she'll have the same complaints about the "ex" as you had. You might find it's a good thing she's there to manage the affairs after all and it does seem like she is trying to be considerate of your feelings and work things out with you.
2007-10-13 02:57:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can look at it one of two ways: 1) She's helping him to be accountable and trying to have a relationship with you and the children (because I'm assuming his irresponsibility is one of the reasons that you're divorced?)and you should be thankful. or 2) Tell him that his irresponsibility frustrates you and it isn't fair to his new wife or the children. I would do this with her present and away from the children. That way he's got to give you an answer for his lack of accountability. His new wife will either get tired of it, or she will continue to build a friendship with you and your children. The children will win in the long run because they see two strong women that care about their happiness. Best of luck.
2007-10-13 02:54:31 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to realize that this is the way the man is and it is in some ways better than you have someone with a bit of sense doing the arrangements. I would not keep telling her it is not her place but perhaps mention that you think him a child for needing someone else to do that. Perhaps she feels embarrassed by having to do all of that for him and asks if she is interfering for that reason, and if she gets tired of doing that also, the two of you may become good friends for both having the sense to not continue to enable this man to avoid his responsibilities.
2007-10-13 03:09:23 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he needs a manager. Is he irresponsible maybe he needs someone to mange his contacts.
IS she a good stepmother to the Children, does she treat them like they are her own and involved with them.
Maybe this lady can turn into a friend for you one day. I have a niece that wishes her ex husband new wife was this considerate. All she does is forment trouble between the kids, the dad and her.
I think that you should meet her for lunch and just talk to her as a friend and thank her for being involved.
You now your ex husband better does he need a manager.
2007-10-13 04:20:33 · answer #5 · answered by will_955 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you already know your husband's behavior. So, you shouldn't be surprised. And, it seems, that it may be him that's encouraging the wife to do these things. And it seems that she is doing a wonderful job, in that aspect. It may not be her place, but she is going beyond what your ex is willing to do. I would advise you and her having a 'sit-down". Who knows, you may even like her. Don't let the fact that she's your ex's new wife hinder anything. Don't think of her trying to be his "manager". Think of her having to do the jobs you used to do for him.....then you may feel sympathy for her....lol.
2007-10-13 02:58:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is probably a good reason that he has her contact you. Have you caused problems in the past and are you upset that you can't get your two cents in here and there with him. We have an ex wife in our lives who loves to get her feet in the door and manipulate things......think about it....maybe there is a reason.
2007-10-13 03:25:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well one thing is that you have someone you can communicate with about yopur children I understand that it is not her place to talk to you about your children but think do you really want to have to talk to your ex husband about it?? I hate my ex but I still have to try to communicate with him becasue of our son. I have and had to be the adult in our relationship always.... My fiance will not interefeer with our agrangments and our plans that I have with my son as it is not his place.... I hope you just can continue to communicate with her about your children and have them happy it is not about what you or your ex wants as long as the children are happy and in a good enviroment right?
2007-10-13 02:53:21 · answer #8 · answered by oh_jo123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank God she has your weak,spineless whimp now! And insist HE deals with the things pertaining to your children! Demand it!
2007-10-13 03:20:37 · answer #9 · answered by sandra b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋