Long story short: Im American, I met a guy from Bangladesh that works in a store close to my house. We had instant attraction for each other. After months of flirting we started casually going out. Whenever we seemed to get too close emotionally, he would pull away. I could tell he was hiding something. After 2 yrs. he decided to tell me he was getting married. I was heartbroken for months.
We would argue constantly whenever we talked because I had already fallen in love with him. In recent months he has been flirting with me & wanting to come back around. He came over my place 2 weeks ago & we both told the truth about our lives. Come to find out he has been married for the last 6 yrs. & his wife & children cant come to the US because of VISA issues. We made love that night because we both still have strong feelings towards each other. He's been giving me money & asking me to come around more but I dont want this. I love him soo much, and I dont know how to let go.
Please help!
2007-10-13 01:55:53 · 15 answers · asked by cinnamon 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Darling, don't get yourself deeper in that mess.
Not only is he married, but he has children. He was supposed to prepare their arrival.
Don't do this to yourself or to his family.
I know how easy it is to advise someone to do the right thing and how difficult it is indeed to actually do this thing.
I can certainly understand that you fell in love with him. But, ultimately, he'll have to choose a side.
Will you be able to live with yourself if you were to break his children's heart.
He was in the wrong for leading you on, even if he felt attracted to you and possibly fell for you, but he should have backed down, because, by sleeping with you, he had made it even 10 times more difficult for you to forget about him and let go.
Babe, do let go. There are other men, and if he were to be with you, he'll have done the right thing and leave everything behind.
You can't be satisfied in being second best; You can't hurt a family, now that you know; He is not YOURS to keep. Let go.
xxxx
2007-10-13 02:39:51 · answer #1 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what keeps these forums alive...
You didn`t make love, it felt that way to you because you are in love. He on the other hand used you for sex, and he cheated on his wife.
This is like real estate, when you have an offer in hand, you don`t let it get away..He did this to you, and will continue to until you realize he may seem to love you , and he has strong feelings , but only because of what you gave him.. a night of passion.
Let him go,NOW , and find another. You are wasting your time:
Think of this: His wife (the one he slept with and truly loves,the bearer of his children) and kids (the product of their intense love for one another) cannot come to the US. He is working at a store, for what purpose? They can`t come here, so he is saving enough money to go back home to his true love, the one he has the strong emotional bond to.
One day when you go to see him, and you will, he`ll be long gone, and you will have wasted your time on a man already taken.
2007-10-13 09:11:03 · answer #2 · answered by I tell it like it is 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What does love got to do with it? Until you did not know about his marriage you were a victim but after you find out and still love him ......you are a home wrecker. You are no more poor sole. Don't be stupid. This love is not going to go anywhere besides think about his "wife and kids". He is not a good husband, a father and also not a good lover. I will still put all responsibility on you because you asked this question.
2007-10-14 09:48:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't love him, you love the man you thought he was. What you now have is a liar, cheater and deceiver; look at the facts, not the emotions you feel. He was wrong to have deceived you and allow you to fall in love with him, without any thought of how much it would hurt you when the truth eventually came out. Doesn't this show you how self-centered he is? Take your loving heart and allow it to heal and be given to someone worthy of it.
2007-10-13 12:03:42 · answer #4 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard when you fall in love with someone who is already taken and it doesn't seem like he is going to divorce his wife or he already would have... as the saying goes... if they'll do it WITH you, they'll do it TO you. How would you feel if you learned there were others? It may hurt now, but in the long run you will be better off if you walk away!
2007-10-13 09:21:49 · answer #5 · answered by Cathy M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl drop him! What in the world?? He sounds more like a suga daddy than a real man. The relationship can't go anywhere. Take your heart out of it before you get hurt worse. Just walk away and DON'T look back. Cut him off! Don't even be his friend. Friends don't lie about stuff like that!
2007-10-13 09:21:38 · answer #6 · answered by Skeater_2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All i can say is put yourself in the other womens shoes. What makes you think he won't do it to you one day if you take him from her. He tells you he loves you know but how many of your ex's have gave you that line and now they are your ex. I would use the guy (if you need too) and leave it as just sex but if you think your going to be his next wife, honey you will be the one he cheats on eventually.
2007-10-13 09:02:07 · answer #7 · answered by Ms. Rosa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hunny just do it walk away and do not look back!! He has lied to you from the beginning you don't want or need someone like that, he is a jerk he cheated on his wife, what makes you think that is he did divorce he would not do it to you!!
2007-10-13 08:59:47 · answer #8 · answered by Wendy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I will move on.(a) he lied to you that he is married which means he is unfaithful to his wife and you never know that he will do that to you one day.(b)may be he just taking advantages from you because you are american citizenship so that one day he can sponsor his wife and family and leave you.I think you better move on.Even though you love him very much I think you deserve more.
2007-10-13 09:19:56 · answer #9 · answered by tiger baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love hurts...but you seriously need to let this guy go. It sounds like he is treating you like a prostitute, giving you money and telling you to come around more? He lied to you, he's cheating on his family...enough said. You know what you need to do, you have to do it.
2007-10-13 09:02:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋