My sister-in-law is pregnant - 21 weeks, and there is a chance her baby could have downs syndrome. She is scared to get the test done, as there is a chance of miscarrisge, and her doctor has told her it is too late ot have a termination anyway.. is that correct?? Any information on what she could/should do, would be great.
2007-10-13 01:19:23 · 18 answers · asked by Andy & Renee S 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
She has had many problems with the prenancy... a large sack of blood beside the baby, the baby has a hole in the heart and has enlarged kidneys (which i'm sure these are problems that can be fixed), but now the baby has a extremly flat face, which is a very good sign of D.S. I don't think it is selfish, and i do agree it is totally my brother's & sister-in-law's decision. She is only 20 years old, so her age isn't the problem. I have a 17 month old son myself, and i know what it is all like.
2007-10-13 01:53:41 · update #1
Thank-you so much Preggie8... They are still both very young, and feel that they can't offer that much extra attention to a special needs child. They don't want to bring a baby into the world, that they don't know if they can look after or not.
2007-10-13 01:57:27 · update #2
I Have Been There. For anyone tempted to judge, please do not unless you have been in this exact situation.
My OB did the triple screen rather late, and it came back postive, and we went for an ultrasound, and were offered an amnio due to the high probability of Trisomy 21 (Down's Syndrome) I was very scared, but did the amnio at 21 weeks because I had to know (my husband felt very strongly about not bringing a baby into the world to suffer, and I had my feelings too).
Long story short, the "fish" test (rapid amnio results) came back confirming the diagnosis, and we chose to terminate. Because of the late stage, our doctor said it had to be done as a vaginal delivery, and the baby was stillborn I guess you would call it. That was the worst time period of my life, and no one can judge unless they have been put in that situation - you will never forget, forgive, but if you do it, it's because it's what was right for you.
The amnios are not as dangerous as people think- if you have a trained professional who does them very often and knows what they're doing.
I hope they get the information they need and decide what is best for them. I hope they are seeing a good genetic counselor to see them through.
It's hard to be honest, so please don't judge lest you be judged.
2007-10-13 16:15:12 · answer #1 · answered by CJLopez 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That doesn't make sense. She's scared to get the test done, but willing to get an abortion? I'm sure that the test would be much easier. You said that there's a chance. The baby is probably normal, and even if he/she isn't, I believe that down syndrome kids are some of the sweetest kids on earth. If she decides to do the test and she can't handle a child like that, then she should consider adoption so that someone else can enjoy her/him.
2007-10-13 01:30:38 · answer #2 · answered by pebbles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on where she is in the world. I've heard of abortions being done as late as 24 weeks in some places. She should get the test done - at least she'll know one way or the other. I, personally, would have a termination if I knew for sure I was carrying a baby with a disability. She has to make the choice that is right for her and her family and not be bullied into making a decision one way or the other. She needs unbiased counselling (ie not from a christian/religious organisation but someone who will lay out the facts for her and not judge here whatever she decideds) as soon as possible.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for her that it's all ok and she won't have to make a decision. What is the risk based on? Her age? A previous test?
2007-10-13 01:27:45 · answer #3 · answered by The Kelda 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Down syndrome can be a really terrifying thing to have to think about. Everyone wants a "normal", healthy baby. Is it more scary to know the truth or to be in the dark about it? Personally I would want to know. I had the test done and thank God I'm not having a down syndrome baby. There is always a chance of miscarriage, but is it more rare after the first trimester. 21 week is too late. Sorry.
To everyone else that posted a response to this: shame on you. Judgemental much?! They never asked your opinion on abortion. When you find yourself in this situation think of how you are going feel.
2007-10-13 01:53:38 · answer #4 · answered by Preggie84 1 · 4⤊ 1⤋
All of you are against terminating that pregnancy. Do any of you know what that really is, The Down's baby. They look so cute, and they smile and they dont often understand what is going on around them. My Best friend was pro-life, even after she was told the baby she is carrying is Down. She said the same things all of you are saying. Well, she is a changed person now. She loves her son very much, but she is very sad to look at other babies. Her son doesn't participate in kids activities and doesn't understand it. It is like he is 6 month old forever. Do you think she wanted that life for herself or her son? She didn't know. And you dont know.
2007-10-13 02:39:44 · answer #5 · answered by zvezda911 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
With all due respect, I hope it's too late for termination. Children with Downs Syndrome can and do live tremendous, wonderful, loving, productive lives. I've known several children with Downs Syndrome.
She should get proper medical advice from her doctor, seek secondary opinions if she's not sure about his advice, and do a lot research. She's probably mostly scared from the unknown.
Best of luck to her and her family.
2007-10-13 01:37:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think Long and Hard before doing or telling anyone else to do that. When my daughter was pregnant for her first son they told her that they thought she was going to have a baby with downs. And she might have some decisions to make. They did an amnio. And found out he didn't after all. She had already decided she was going to have him either way. And he was born completely normal. Good Luck
2007-10-13 02:23:46 · answer #7 · answered by peanut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most states....getting a late abortion is against the law. She needs to ask her doctor about some organizations that can help her if the baby does have down syndrome. Plus, she could talk to parents with kids that have down syndrome and find out how they felt and dealt with the situation.
2007-10-13 01:37:29 · answer #8 · answered by September Sweetie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it truly is an enticing question, and one which I actual have had earlier with others. there are a kind of spectacular mom and father obtainable which could have and love their toddler even with Downs, and then there are those which couldn't cope with having a baby with that incapacity. i'm one among them. I hate to admit it, yet i'm. i'd not cope with the issue nicely in any respect, which does not earnings the youngster, or my different children in besides. So i imagine i can make the heartrenching decision to terminate. To the moms obtainable who do it - they're spectacular human beings, with spectacular skill.
2016-10-09 03:40:25 · answer #9 · answered by veve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look im sure the reason they test is a way to let parents know and give them a choice if they want to abort, these people r being very judgemental, i bet their kids r all healthy and thats the reason they put their bit in
im a mum of 4, every scan i had was scary, i thought of the possibility of something wrong and i would have liked the choice to decide what id want to do
my babies were all healthy, thank god, id never want to b in that spot, but whoever is,, i support them all the way, xxxxxxxxxxx
2007-10-13 03:25:46 · answer #10 · answered by ROCKMUM LOVES BOWIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋