Friend trouble please help me?

Question

Ok the problem is, i have frend at school but 2 of my friends are friend with eachother so we are all friends but they had a very big argument the other day and it has been going on for weeks, i spend time with both of them but when i spend time with one the other thinks i'm ignoring her, then friends start talking about things behind backs (i am there best friend) and when i go to the other one for a chat they say what have they been saying about me but my other best friend told me not too tell and this is just getting out of hand and i am pulling my hair out, is there anyway i can stop this because i hate being half the target and when i say i am not listening to this they get grumpy with me too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE i am so sad :'(

Answer 1

What usually happens in these cases is that the three-way friendship eventually dissolves. (Or at least it is never as close as it once was.)

My advice is to be friends with both and try not to comment negatively on the other one. I can think of two times in my life when a similar situation happened to me (one only recently). There was the usual venting about the "third" friend but then we realized that our one-on-one friendship was strong without him -- and perhaps getting stronger without his presence. We now communicate about things important to us individually and things we mutually are interested in at the moment.

So there's always a silver lining to every cloud out there in our lives. A door closes and another one opens.

I have to tell you though that I have learned to be very careful about having too close of friends who also know one another. That sounds sort of drastic if not strange, but let me tell you, it has made my life ever so much easier and enjoyable. It's really one thing to have a bunch of casual friends surround you and a few close ones and quite another when you have too many close friends who all know too much about you.

Good luck to you and your friends. And always be on the lookout for another friend. It seems we can never have enough since life is so changeable.

Answer 2

The first problem is your written composition. There is a reason that we use punctuation in our sentences. It tells people where one idea ends. We use capital letters at the beginning of sentences so that people can tell where a new idea begins. This carelessness makes it quite difficult to decipher what you are trying to say. But I will try to answer the best I can. Your two best friends had an argument and are now trying to get you to participate in it, but you don't want to. You should tell them each that their behavior toward you is making you sad. Tell them that you want to be happy and have fun with them. Tell them that you are not going to carry any tales or messages from one to the other. And tell them that if they cannot be pleasant to you, that you will go find someone who will. Then do it, even if you have to spend your time listening to the radio. Don't let them steal your fun.

Answer 3

I'm afraid this is quite common, and you may well experience this later on as a grown-up.

Your friends are being selfish towards you by making you stuck in the middle. You should explain to each of them how it makes you feel, so thay have an opportunity to change their behaviour.

The next option is to stop hanging out with them both until their arguments come to a close. It's unfair of them to treat you this way - at the moment they're not behaving like friends.

Answer 4

That's the problem with having a "three-way" friendship. If I were you, I'd separate myself from them until they:

a) decide to grow up and be good friends to you instead of talking behind your back and acting immaturely

b) make up and become friends again

You can confront both of them and simply say: "Listen. I'm friends with both of you and I am not going to stop being friends with either of you just because you currently hate each other. If you can't handle that, then it shows me that you really don't value my friendship."

Answer 5

I kinda had this problem. not exactly cuz I was one of the friendds..and my BEST friend was in the middle. But all I can say is tell them you don't want one talk about the other one and when one talks about the other than just dont be their friend cuz that means they will talk about you too when their mad at u. But in my real opation I think u should just dump them both. They both spread rumors not a good mix.

Answer 6

ok i think i can it happened to me too,(not kidding) ok u have to do is just make them both meet eachother at same plach which they liked the most then when they reach there and see each another talk to them but together,then make them realise that one time u three were bestfriends,and all good things it will make it smooth

Answer 7

Let them talk about it so that it will be solved... tell both of them to stop it because it hurts others not just themselves... i hope you can figure it out soon... if you need more advice mail me at [e-mail] stay happy

Answer 8

take both of them to some place lonely tell them to argue as much as they want.......then when they finish tell them to apologize to each other......if they say no......make them understand how important their friendship is and also tell them that they cant break this friendship because of a stupid arguement.................it might work

Answer 9

well if they were really good friends..they wouldnt be arguing...and if they were really ur friend they would'nt have u in the middle of everything..tell them to grow up and act their age!