Suspecting my spouse is cheating. Considering spying.?

Question

I've recently caught my husband::
Hiding to text a girl from work
Phone records show he's been talking/ texting her A LOT!
Notes from this same girl that say "heart" you.
He doodled this girls name in his school notes.
He's been checking into male enhancement stuff.
He's all of a sudden working out a lot.

He says they're just friends & that it's all innocent. If he's cheating, I'd rather work things out than throw my marriage away. I just can't handle being lied to. I dont have any absolutely undeniable proof. I know that something is going on & because he refuses to come clean, I feel like I'm gonna need to spy in order to have hard evidence that he cant deny. I know it might sound stupid, but I feel like if the truth comes out & he has to admit to things, maybe we can work things out. Because none of his explanations make sense, I've been really suspicious & questioning & its really agravating him. I don't want to push him away any more, & spying feels totally wrong.

Answer 1

Hey don't play his game
U no in ur heart if u think he is cheating.. and if u think so...
then he is!!!
U need to decide if u are going to stay or go..

Most wives NEVER GET the proof.... they just no.
so the ball is in ur court..
remember once a cheater . always a cheater..

U have low self=esteem..?
once u have been lied too.. if is very hard to get the trust factor back..
so make ur mind up ....don't let him make it up for u.. by leaving u.. and u being broken hearted..

Answer 2

I think it's always our first thoughts to want to work it out. I know I would prefer that in my own situation. If you feel like giving him the benefit of the doubt and you're tired of questioning him, you could always install a program called iambigbrother. You can get it for $30 on iambigbrother.com. I just did that on my home computer and , to my surprise, my husband hasn't been on it once. But, when he does get on there, this program will capture EVERY keystroke he types and every IM conversation he has. I don't feel bad about it because I wouldn't be at this point if he hadn't taken some action to make me wonder. This program will even let you see whatever password(s) he may be using to access various emails or other websites.

Good luck. I know this all sucks.

Answer 3

6 months to a year. But it really depends on the reason her spouse isn't sleeping with her. My husband has an anxiety disorder that causes him not to be able to work so he has been figuring out the right combination of anti-depressants for the 8 months and as a result we haven't had sex. It doesn't mean he doesn't love me and I would NEVER, EVER cheat on him. It's just a tough time, that's all. I also think the average would be affected by the many number of women who wouldn't mind at all if their spouse never had sex with them. It's probably a LOT longer than you think.

Answer 4

Do you know why it is bothering him? Because he knows that you are right. All of the signs are there. You don't need to spy. you need to approach her and lay the cards on the table. Honey if he is doodling her name and she is sending hearts to him, then he is already gone. I think that maybe they are both married and that is the reason he keeps coming home to you. I would act NOW before it goes any farther. Oh and if he is looking for something to make his penis bigger, he has already slept with her, some how he is feeling inadequate. If he have not been there, he will be soon.

Answer 5

You know what as hard as this may be you got to do it this wayok it will work. but understand that if he is cheating it isnt your fault at all. OK men are not gonna admit they are cheating unless you have proof.. but anytime you go looking for something youare gonna find it and since you want to be with him and savage this amrriage, do not allow him to know that you suspect him cheating because he is gonna feel like you dnt care if he does cause you are still with him.
start dressing up do your hair just be casual but not to suspicious with him.. when he is home, get ready with out an attitude and go out idont care if its just to the corner store get out like you are going somewhere. Do not question him at all no crazy commnets cause you are pissed. just act realy confident do something different with your self.
Dont let him have the cotrol where you are wondering where he is at and oh is he cheating a woman deserves to be catered to and you can turn this around really quick without him even knowing. just do this for a few days or a whole week you will see
trust me this works!
dont go buy any secret squirrel spy gear just yet because you said you want to stay with him and i respect that you are honest, So yes turn this around so he is thinking about what yu are doing he will forget aboutthe other brod!

Answer 6

I think you should do this. Something I wish I could have done to catch my husband when he was cheating. Do you have a spare key to his car? If so, use it. One day when you suspect he could be going to see her, and you will know this if you are starting to notice a pattern in his irational behavior. Let yourself into his car, and crouch down as low as you can get on the backseat floor. Does he usually ever keep anything in his back seat that you could carelessly throw over you? Like a coat, or gym bag, etc. Even better if you can do this in the dark. My husband used to have his whore meet him at the bar on his thursday nights out with the guys. They would leave the bar together and screw in his car. If i had only suspected this, I could have done that and litterally caught him in the act.

Best of luck to you and I say do what you gotta do to get to the truth. What you are noticing is tons of red flags of a cheating husband. Also, google: clue to catch a cheater

There are whole articles devoted on telling wives what signs and clues to look for if they suspect their man is cheating. And ironically, it is dead on. My husband hit almost every single of those clues, only I didnt know it at the time. If he is cheating, you will eventually find out. They always get caught.

Answer 7

They usually say that if you are suspecting something is going on, then it usually is. The 'signs' you have mentioned would make me think the same thing. I've spyed, and am glad I did, cuz that was going to be the only way that I could have got the hard evidence. I think marriage counseling is the only way to go, cuz if he is cheating and not telling you, he is never going to tell you. I've tried working it out on my own and the unfaithful party has too much crap going on mentally to fess up.

Answer 8

I would never be able to stay if my man cheated on me...I would never trust him again and I would live life wondering and worrying...who wants that? Anyway, I think you should call the show "Cheaters" if you want to spy on him. To work things out you will need counseling for sure but don't be surprised if he does not want to work things out...he is cheating after all and he might want to keep things going with the other woman.

Answer 9

I'm betting he is having an affair. Especially if his behavior patterns are changing. Hiring a private detective can be an expense, especially if you needed for hard evidence in a divorce. Make sure after you take it all, send your ex the bill to pay for the detective...

Answer 10

Don't feel bad about spying.... that is what I would do in your shoes.... sounds like he is lying to you Big Time and I'd bet money he has given her the high hard one already...... I hope you catch him in the act ... when you do just look him square in the eye and say " I hope it was worth it because pay back is a Bit*h"