I don't want to celebrate Christmas...?

Question

I don't want to celebrate Christmas...in the way that we, as a family, have always celebrated Christmas.
My kids range in age 16-25(w/spouses as well). I have 2 grandbabies.
I used to go-all-out, with food, gifts and decorating...christmas cheer...etc.
I want to celebrate spiritually....but that's it.
My feelings have been like this for a few years now, and each year, the feeling gets stronger...and I just don't want to do it.
How do I explain to my kids that I just don't want to do Christmas?

Answer 1

Understand and explain that "Christmas" does NOT celebrate Christ; "Christmas" celebrates the pagan Saturnalia. Jesus was not even born in December. Nearly all so-called Christmas customs dishonor Christ.

(Jeremiah 10:2-5) This is what Jehovah has said: "Do not learn the way of the nations at all... 3 For the customs of the peoples are just an exhalation, because it is a mere tree out of the forest that one has cut down, the work of the hands of the craftsman with the billhook. 4 With silver and with gold one makes it pretty. With nails and with hammers they fasten them down, that none may reel. ...the doing of any good is not with them."

http://watchtower.org/e/19981215/article_02.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/20001215/
http://watchtower.org/e/20041215/article_01.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/19981215/
http://watchtower.org/e/rq/article_11.htm


By contrast, it's tragic that the one holiday Christ actually *DID* ask Christians to commemorate is entirely ignored by almost all of Christendom. It is, of course, the Memorial of Christ's death, sometimes called "the Last Supper" or "the Lord's Evening Meal".

(1 Corinthians 11:23-25, NWT) The Lord Jesus in the night in which he was going to be handed over took a loaf... Keep doing this in remembrance of me.” 25 He did likewise respecting the cup.. Keep doing this... in remembrance of me.”

(1 Cor 11:24, 25, NEB) "Do this as a memorial of me.”


Christ Jesus himself personally celebrated and explained the significance of that Last Supper to his followers (see Matthew 26:26-29). Christians who commemorate the Last Supper have done so on the same Jewish calendar date as Jesus did, Nisan 14, which generally falls between late March and mid-April. Interestingly, Christians in the centuries immediately after Christ's impalement were sometimes called "Quartodecimans" which literally mean "Fourteen-ers", because the early Christians were well-known for this true holy day.

How would Jesus feel to learn that the holiday he commanded was widely ignored, while his so-called followers chose to celebrate a pagan false god and their own traditions of men? We don't need to wonder.

(Matthew 15:6-9) You have made the word of God invalid because of your tradition. 7 You hypocrites, Isaiah aptly prophesied about you when he said, 8 ‘This people honors me with their lips, yet their heart is far removed from me. 9 It is in vain that they keep worshiping me, because they teach commands of men as doctrines.’”

Learn more:
http://watchtower.org/e/lmn/index.htm?article=article_08.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/rq/index.htm?article=article_11.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/20041215/article_02.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/20011115/article_02.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/20050101a/
http://watchtower.org/e/jt/

Answer 2

My mom had this feeling also so what she did was tell us that the only gifts that we can give each other are gifts that we make ourselves. There is nothing that any of us need, because we are all quite well off, and it seemed that our cars were always full of gifts to bring and to take back, that in turn made our houses full. So what we started to do as a family is make something for everyone from our heart. It ends up being like an old fashioned Christmas, and each of us has found new talents and hobbies by doing this. It has been a big hit and it gets the children involved in making gifts also. I call them gifts from the heart and hands of the people that love me. People that hear about it and see it think that it is the best idea. This way we have more time as a family and to focus on the real reason for the season. We always read the story of the Birth of Christ our of the Bible after we have attended Church and before we have opened up our home made gifts. We also have a Happy Birthday Jesus Birthday cake. This helps the children understand from the time that they are little what the true meaning of Christmas is. What a better way than gifts of the Heart?

Answer 3

I understand how you feel after many years of providing love, nurturing, and entertaining the entire family. It is really hard work and sometimes one feels unappreciated in spite of the family's protestation to the contrary. Might I suggest if you are Catholic, go as a family to mass Christmas Eve and then have either a nice breakfast or dinner after mass. This way you will not be responsible for all the preparations of dinner, super cleaning the house, of decorating with a large tree and all the rest. Don't try to buy everyone in the family a special gift, but give gift certificates instead. That way everyone can purchase what they want or need. The gist certificate will go much further since there a plenty of sales after Christmas. This might not sound very loving or caring to your family, but now after hosting the event for many, many years you desrve to be treated to something special. Let the children take over and help. Just my opinion. May you have a very blessed Christmas, stress free of course.

gatita_63109

Answer 4

Have a heart to heart talk with your kids. If you say nothing, then they might get this idea that they didn't get gifts because they were "bad" or bc you are angry with them. Another thing to consider is perhaps you are having other problems/issues in your life and it really isn't about Christmas. Consider getting some counseling. Counseling isn't a "magic bullet" that solves all problems, but it might help you organize your thoughts and feelings better. Another approach is to still celebrate Christmas, but on a smaller scale. Buy ready made Christmas foods to save you some time. Keep the decorating simple. Just put up one Christmas tree and not a really big one. Some ppl wear themselves out putting a tree in every room, climbing on the roof to put up the Christmas lights, etc. See if you can have a secret Santa system-- everyone pulls a name out of a hat and buys that person a gift. Less stress, less money spent on useless junk that ends up in the closet and everybody still gets a present.

Answer 5

You can still have the 'traditional" Chrstmas you've always had and still have the spiritual Christmas you want. The two don't necessarily conflict with each other. My family has always had both. We go potluck with the food so no single person has to do all the kitchen work and the kids do the last minute decorations on the tree etc. The Jesus in the manger arrangement has always been the special attraction for the kids as they are the ones in charge of setting up everything. Grandma, (you) can sit back, relax, reflect on the things going on around her. What she doesn't want is to be a scrooge.

Answer 6

With your youngest at just 16 years old, you've only a couple (one can hope anyway!) years left with kids at home for Christmas. If I were in your shoes, I'd make every effort to still make it special for any kids still at home, (talk to the one or ones still at home and ask what they think too! At that age maybe they feel the same way you do!) and then let the grand babies' moms come up with a new tradition- as the grand babies get older (and more keep coming!) their Moms will surely appreciate you passing the torch to them. My kids are 6 & 8 years old, and it's a battle at every holiday to try to live up to my mother in law's traditions and expectations... when all I really want is to make it special and non-hectic for my own young kids- Preferably going to bed in their own home on Christmas eve and waking up full of joy and excitement Christmas morning seeing what treasures Santa has left for them... and if this year he remembered to wipe his feet before tracking snowy white boot-prints across the rug.

It's hard to know by the limited information you provided just what part of the way you've always celebrated you no longer wish to continue-- spending a lot, lavish decorating, (Do you have a Chevy Chase Christmas Vacation house?) Competitive gift giving, or just the pressure of fitting everyone in on that one day and making it be like the pages from Martha Stewart. We've stayed home the past three years on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but made other arrangements for spending time with the extended family either before or after the actual holiday. (although I do like to get the gifts out to be put under the recipient's tree on Christmas Morning.)

Good luck and here's wishing you Happy Holidays no matter what you decide to do.

Answer 7

I think you should tell you kids, just like you told all of us. Maybe someone else would like to host the get together and you can be a guest for once. Start a new tradition of doing something more spiritually with your family. If they are into it then great, if not, then it's up to you to do it. Your kids are old enough that should understand your feelings and respect your wishes.

Here's an idea, instead of gifts, write each other a poem or a letter telling how much you mean to each other. Maybe you could do a potluck dinner instead of you doing everything. Each person could bring their favorite holiday dish.

Answer 8

It is hard to celebrate Christmas in a spiritual way cause society, and sometimes the way we bring up our kids, has influenced to celebrate for the wrong reasons! Your kids are probably used to the secular traditions! Just like my kids! But we always tried to include in the xmas holiday the real reason we have Christmas. The celebration of Christs birth.
There are many things you can do to head back towards a more spiritual Christmas, although you kids might not agree. You can go as a family and help cook and serve at a shelter or local senior center. You could go to rest homes and provide lap blankets or just spend part of the day visiting with them because many of these seniors have no one to visit with. You can go to church together as a family. You can have a buffett style dinner. You make a turkey and each other person brings the side dishes and desserts. Make the day about Christs birth and what he gave to us not about giving to each other with fancy or expensive gifts. Either do home made gifts to each other or just cards. Or have each person write down things that they were thankful growing up and you can make copies for each family member. At the table, have each pperson say what they are thankful for. A great gift is promise cards that can be used thru out the year. For each person write down things that would be helpful to them and you promise to do it for them. Wash the car, babysit, one day of house cleaning, transportation. Things like that! MEaninful, useful and homemade! If you want to decorate, make it more about, manger scenes not christmas trees and fancy decorations. Play your gospel christmas music and read christmas stories. This all would probably put your kids into shock! But if you have children with their own homes, they can celebrate the way they choose on Christmas eve or early Christmas morning in their homes and then come to yours! I commend you for wanting a more spiritual Christmas, and it will be hard to change the way you do Christmas. Hopefully, you have a supportive husband and kids who will help implement your ideas. The little ones, grandkids, and their parents probably want to have gifts for the kids and of course it is hard not to get things for them. The anticipation of watching the little ones scramble for the tree and gifts is something I always enjoyed. But I am sure that you being a grandma, give things to the grqandkids thru out the year and on birthdays! So they really arent missing anything coming from you! You can do it on different days- it doesnt have to be on Christmas. I guess what I am saying is you can have your cake and eat it too! Society has put so much presure on people to celebrate this special day by spending phenominal amounts of money and mostly secular ideas and activities. Best Wishes. Stand strong in your desires and beliefs. You can still have a wonderful day filled withthe spirit without becoming a fuddy duddy hum bug.

Answer 9

My grandmother has 8 grown children with so many grandchildren there isn't even an official count! She gives each of her children and their families $50 to spend however they please. It isn't much but she is on a fixed income. Since all the children live in different areas of the country those who live near her stop over at her house and bring her dinner. My suggestion would be (and this really only works if the kids live near you or they are okay with this) to put everyone's name in a bowl or hat and draw names each year to see who will host Christmas. Each family brings a dish to pass. As far as presents are concerned do what my grandmother does and give each family money. Just buy small presents for the younger kids. Now that each of your children have families of their own it would be nice of them to host Christmas and take some of the burden off of you.

Answer 10

Why don't you suggest to them that it might be fun if they all chipped in and cooked for the whole family and cool it with so many gifts. Explain to them what you have been feeling about Christmas over these years and how you want to handle it. Have a Christmas Tree party so that everyone helps decorate and have it be fun for the kids. Don't serve any liquor or wine if you're uncomfortable with it. Make a Christmas punch or hot mulled cider for all. I think a change of pace might convince them that Christmas is really about one thing.

Answer 11

Hi
I understand so well what you feel, but let me tell u a story...I have a friend that lost a son a few years ago in christma's time. It was horrible as you can imagine. He was in a coma for several days and passed away after thanks giving. She was devastated and I tried to be there always, tried to listen her crying, tried to "listen" her silences, tried to somehow make her feel less in hell. She has 2 more kids and at that time the girl was only 12. She was a very quiet girl who suffered without daying a word. She didn't have her mother's support because my friend couldn't cope with anyone pain, even her daughter's. years went by and Christmas was over in that home...no celebrations at all, no joy.
What im trying to explain is that celebrating is good when we have all our family togheter...enjoy that! celebrating wont take away the spiritual part of christmas, it only increases its value. thats my view only. think about it. I hope I helped somehow. teresa