This is a lng 1 but I need serious advice.I am in a serious relationship of 3yrs we hav 1 child 2gether and Iam expecting #2, we agreed we weren't going to have frnds of the opposite sex, due to bad experiences in the pass.Nw this pass june he meets a cousin of his bst frnd, he was talking w her behind my back I found out he stopped talking to her.Its nw Oct he came 2 me and confessed that he had been emailing f frnds frm the pass and new on facebk, he then tld me he sent them emails letting them kno how he felt about talking to them after WE tld them it would be no more of that.BUT they are still on his frnds list and the grl frm June,
2007-10-12 16:21:13 · 16 answers · asked by **Ms.Magic** 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In addition he acts as if he's afraid of commitment. No ring, we don't stay 2gether, and of course being a man of his wrd.I usually don't see him until the wkend, and he has no phone, so he calls me during the wk "when he can". I love him dearly but I also love myself and my kids.
2007-10-12 16:58:18 · update #1
Also he does not want to talk about it. He tld me I shld b glad he tld me.And should let him deal with the issue. I shldn't have any input on it. So WTF???????
2007-10-12 17:07:35 · update #2
From what I have read and experienced in my own 3 year relationship I think that a breakup is going a bit overboard. But if he is not there for you emotionally and you do not get enjoyment, happiness, and friendship from the relationship then it is best to end it in a calm way than in a long bitter breakup. I think you and your boyfriend need more communication and trust in each other. Not allowing friends of the opposite sex just screams that there is very little trust in the relationship. If you have had bad experiences not letting each other have friends of the opposite sex will keep it from happening again. Forgiveness is the only thing that can help you with that since you chose to stay together after what ever happened happened. The relationship can not move forward if there is still bitterness and anger about the incident. I think you and your boyfriend need more communication and trust with each other. You could maybe visit a community counselor that could help you with that for little if any cost since you do have a family with him. I'm not saying that you should stay with him because of the kids if you ready to leave but two parents that love and trust each other are better than two that don't.
2007-10-12 16:46:50 · answer #1 · answered by mellowyellow311727 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry but this deal u made together is unreasonable.
That is why u r having this problem now. Where in the world can you work and live and not have friends of the opposite sex. Platonic friends I mean.
I do not know the reason why u made this deal, but I am wondering who can not be trusted in this relationship.
Even if a partner in a relationship is a player making this kind of deal can not solve the problem. The person will rebel, why the will not want any friend to know they made such a pack. So they will go on as if they could.
And if U want to divorce due to they going back on their word I do not think anyone will see the reasonableness in it., if there is such a word.
2007-10-12 16:37:03 · answer #2 · answered by Analyst 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I went threw some issues with my b/f and some old friends of his who were girls and tryed to ruin our relationship. Its ok to have friends of the opposite sex but I think you need to be able to trust those people as much as you trust your b/f. If he's sneaking around about it then I don't think he has your trust or that he deserves it. Talk to him about it. In a calm way. if there wasn't kids involved then I would tell you to end it. Explain to him how you feel and how what he is doing is making you feel. Commuincation is always needed for a relationship to work. But further more do what your heart is telling you to do. And what's best for you and your children. I truley hope that you are able to figure this out! Good luck
2007-10-12 16:33:40 · answer #3 · answered by pierced_chick123 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ending a relationship is hard and really only the parties involved really know deep down that it is over. if you are thinking about it, that should tell you something. if this is something that you will not tolerate, but he keeps doing it, what will make him stop? can you trust him when he says he won't do it again? would it bother him to lose you? could you be the one to end it? are you two in love with one another? notice, none of these mention the kids...that's because you can't stay in a relationship for the sake of the kids...it only makes it worse for them because they live what you live and if it is unhealthy and unloving...then what is the point? he should respect you and you should respect him and there should be compromise...analyze things first and talk to him about it...don't make any haste decisions. good luck and God bless.
2007-10-12 16:33:50 · answer #4 · answered by jenn4chrisphillips 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rangers ends quiet?! have you ever even been to the two ends? And it of course relies upon on what group you help! And no longer at as quickly as i do no longer think of the Celtic end would be making a track and dancing! no longer for long besides!
2016-11-08 03:53:50 · answer #5 · answered by tameka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, if he's talking to other women (via e-mail or any other way), then he's not very serious about his relationship with you. You've obviously agreed to your end of the deal, but he's not willing to compromise. It's bad that children are involved and that may make it difficult for you to end it. By all means, consider the wants and the needs of your children first. They should always be your first priority...not you and certainly not your man.
Give him one more chance. Tell him you've had it with his cyberspace philandering. The ball will then be in his court. Give him a chance, but don't let him walk all over you.
2007-10-12 16:28:47 · answer #6 · answered by miri-miri-off-the-wall 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's unhealthy to put such ridiculous conditions on a relationship. It's always better to resolve issues rather than make rules so that you always avoid the issue. See what happens when you do. Deal with your insecurities.
Cheating is a problem. Having friends is normal.
2007-10-12 16:29:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you both have trust issues either from the past or with eachother. It's been 3 years and you have 2 babies with him so it may be worth trying to work out these issues. If there is no trust, there is no relationship. It just doesn't work that way. Life is too short to not be happy and I think there is more than just 'one person' you can be compatible and happy with in your life. You have decide if it's worth your time and happiness to stay in it.
2007-10-12 16:29:16 · answer #8 · answered by jenniejoan79 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Divorce should be the option of last resort. After you have exhausted all other options, such as counseling, taking a break, trying to spice it up, family help, discussions, honest self-evaluations, re-organization, etc., then after that it makes sense to look into that last option...
Remember that children are oftentimes the victims of divorce, the ones who feel guilty and confused, and oftentimes resort to self-destructive ways of dealing with it.
2007-10-12 16:27:06 · answer #9 · answered by Adel 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow this question is so hard to answer. i am much older & was not brought up with the internet, it didnt exist. it is so easy to meet someone & fall in love on here (as i have done). these girls could just be friends. you have a child together & one on the way. he may just be talking to them innocently, don't you talk to guys? i kinda think this is all normal, when you have the internet at your fingertips.hang in there & communicate with him. don't throw all you two have together away.
2007-10-12 16:31:23 · answer #10 · answered by carol 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋