This happened to me with both co-workers and schoolmates. She and I are flirting and playing around for a while until one day she says "Oh, my boyfriend/husband bla bla bla..."
Don't they realize how much pain they cause the guy? I could have spent my time and efforts wooing some girl who was actually available, dammit.
2007-10-12 16:06:42 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
I agree with you here, it is inconsiderate. She probably looked at it as harmless fun because there was plenty of teasing, not touching, going on.
I myself am guilty of teasing, but at least I make sure the other person is aware that I am taken the moment they meet me. If they want to carry on teasing with me, then that's their choice.
If more women/men in relationships were that considerate they'd save people a lot of heartache.
2007-10-13 00:17:14 · answer #1 · answered by Alice 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is NOT only women who do this. And as I have always said, and believe: when in a relationship, I am NOT dead, so i can flirt but CANNOT touch anyone else. Innocent flirting will hurt no one. If you don't like the one you are with to flirt while you are together, then let them know up front. How are they supposed to know unless you tell them? It is human nature to flirt. My ex-husband and I would make a game of it--see who could flirt the most/get the most attention, etc. NO, the flirting is NOT the reason we divorced. His abuse and cheating is the reason (the flirting had NOTHING to do with his cheating). Just because someone flirts does NOT mean that they are going to cheat. And if someone flirts with them, it lets them know that they are still desirable to others, which means they feel all the more desirable towards their mate (bf/gf/wife/hubby).
If you are getting upset over flirting, then it sounds like you are the jealous type. This will destroy a relationship faster than pretty much anything else. Learn to control your jealousy and you will find that someone out there for you. Also learn to live a little and flirt a little, have some fun. It will spice things up in your relationships.
2007-10-12 18:43:58 · answer #2 · answered by honey 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
According to evolutionary psychologists, women are not strictly monogamous by nature, contrary to popular myth. Most males fall into the category of alpha and beta and both types provide things that the other cannot or is not willing to. So women continue to seek, or at least express a desire to seek, these things from both types of males regardless of which type she has "settled down" with. The alpha males will provide offspring but be unwilling to provide materials and vice versa. The flirting is just a behavioural indication of this natural tendency to always be seeking one or the other.
2007-10-12 17:32:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
because flirting is a normal healthy form of human interaction. Most people in relationships or not will flirt especially with new people that they enjoy being around. Frankly many people flirt without concern even to their own sexuality, gay men flirt with me constantly, etc.
2007-10-12 16:17:03 · answer #4 · answered by vegan_geek 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
As painful as your experience was you can still take the good from the bad. In otherwards you can take this as a lesson to apply to your life. Girls do flirt this is quite obvious but why....The answer is simple. Guys encourage them, wether they like it or not. If you so much as look at a girl in a way they can misinterprate they often recieve it as a compliment and attempt to (reward) you for your praising glance by a gesture of sexaul approval.
2007-10-12 20:58:14 · answer #5 · answered by Truth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've seen it happen before and I'm guilty of doing it to, but for me, it was never my intention to lead the guy on or anything. After being in a relationship, sometimes girls don't feel as wanted or as attractive because they are now in a committed relationship, but when I talk to co-workers and we have a good time and laugh, I don't tend to mention I have a boyfriend just because when I do, guys act different around me. They become all serious and quiet and don't get along with me in the same way but I'm not flirting, I'm just trying to have a good time with my co-workers. Other times, it happens because it feels good to know I have another guy who isn't my boyfriend being attracted to me and trying to flirt, but it was never my intention to lead anyone on. But now that I know the guys side, I will surely stop... haha..
2007-10-12 16:19:35 · answer #6 · answered by MiM 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Oh, it is just fun to flirt and human and harmless, too; unless taken to a far degree. Lighten up. Everyone likes to admire and be admired. It means nothing.
Women are not the only ones; who would we flirt with if not for you, unless the women in question are lesbian? Don't be so serious. If you find out a woman is not available, take it for what it is: harmless fun, and she may be attracted to you and is letting you know that: however, it does not mean she does not like you. You can move on, knowing that women find you attractive!
2007-10-12 17:18:10 · answer #7 · answered by hopflower 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Smile. We flirt because it is an indication that we are alive. We do not mean anything by it. It is a type of personality. So, you have no control over it ( just like the color of your eyes )... The problem is: you are taking it way too seriously. Relax and flirt back without any double meaning. Lighten up,would you!
2007-10-12 17:43:16 · answer #8 · answered by ms.sophisticate 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why do men in relationships still flirt?
2007-10-12 16:35:56 · answer #9 · answered by RainbowGirl 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think many people who are in relationships, men as well, still flirt. I think they do it to see if they're still desirable.
2007-10-12 16:10:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋