I don't understand..My ex husband (before we got married) encouraged me to have a career etc..but when we said "I do" He changed and wanted me to be at home....
Why does it seem that men want a career woman type to be a housewife after marriage?? Is it a challenge to change her or something..or an ego boost????
2007-10-12 15:48:58 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I divorced him...just curious..so I won't make the same mistake again
2007-10-12 15:54:54 · update #1
I read my question again and I still didn't see something stating that being a housewife was offensive....
I asked why some men change their view...
Read first please..
Thanks...
2007-10-12 16:07:50 · update #2
This was not the reason for our divorce..
2007-10-12 16:13:13 · update #3
Perhaps these men are traditional (old school). They want girls home to watch the kids instead of having the kids rattling the cage at some day care center. Perhaps he's a controlling man? Or perhaps because his parents did it that way, he wants to do it that way because to him that's considered to be the highest standard of living. It doesn't make sense because it's a dual income society. If he's not making six figures, he could be hurting if it's just one income.
2007-10-12 18:48:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
I know you said no women, but I have to pose YOU a couple questions:
A. You obviously talked about it, but he changed. Why are you still with him? What else did he lie about?
B. Why do women take offense to being a housewife? I don't have any children, so I work now. But if we had children, I would love to be a housewife. It doesn't make you less of a person or mean you're not an intellegent person.
I hope you and your husband can work it out. You should definetly let him know that HE agreed to you working, and you wouldn't have married knowing otherwise. You just need to get it through to him that that's not what you're about, and if he wasn't honest with you, and can't accept that, then maybe you shouldn't be together. But I hope you guys work everything out. Every couple is different and has different views on how the relationship should be, and I hope you both find something that makes you both happy.
2007-10-12 15:56:56 · answer #2 · answered by BlackDahlia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband says: pursue a career, and if this guy isn't the right guy, it will be apparent soon. One of the big issues young couples have is finances, and if you can bring $ to the table to stabilize in preparation for kids and to have career experience in your field, it's beneficial then and after the kids are born. (It makes it easier to go back to work if you choose to, once you're degreed.) He also says the act of pursuing a career will also expose you to a wider variety of men and life experiences in general. My take? Working was great. Being a mom is absolutely the most difficult and demanding job I've ever had. It's also intensely rewarding. It's like playing Galaga, though: there are challenging stages, where like the bee things in the game, they just keep coming at ya, lol. It's awesomely rewarding, but I've found that if I don't work from home or stay artistically developed, I go crazy. The people I see day-to-day are all under 12, some are in diapers, all get sick and barf on me, and I haven't peed alone in 7 years. JK...I truly haven't slept more than 6 hours a night in that long though.
2016-03-12 20:59:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That really wasn't fair at all of him to change his mind on the matter after marriage. You were probably right to dump him as there may have been other instabilities in his character.
Men are proud beasts. Some like the 'arm candy' of a successful career woman, but feel threatened by their wife's achievement after saying "I do".
Alas, you married a small man. Live and learn.
2007-10-12 15:58:43 · answer #4 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First, in part of your question you state it's some men, and in the last part you state "..that men". You had it right the first time, it's some men..not all. I've seen this before, it's mostly ego..some men have to be the breadwinner because they don't feel like a man if they don't "provide for the family." Their are men out there though that just want a partnership in life, not a person to worship them. Keep your chin up and keep looking...
2007-10-12 15:55:10 · answer #5 · answered by jimstock60 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I don't feel that way at all. I'm trying to see some $$$ flow in.
I'm currently the only one in my household with a full time job, seeing my lady through nursing school. It's a struggle when the household composition is 5. When she gets out of school and finds a job, our household income will double! I'll be so delighted when that day comes. Take a little pressure off a
brotha. She'll probably be making a good bit more than me at that, and it'll all be good.
I wanna HAVE something.
2007-10-12 15:53:31 · answer #6 · answered by SoulDawg 4 UGA 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
OK this is EASY! He is a smart man that knows one thing, if ever something happened to him, and you both have children, he has a woman with confidence and bright future who could go on and survive just fine and raise children. I don't know if he is an officer or firemen but it is always nice to know, if something EVER happened, GOD FORBID that you would be ok. It would tear your world apart but you would get through this. I just realized you said EX! Be glad you had a husband who made sure you were educated first, imagine life if you had NOT been! I'm real sorry that I didn't realize that earlier, but I think it's A VERY GOOD IDEA! to educate yourself first and maybe he was hoping you would be a mom? I don't know, but I am real glad you did finish school FIRST!
2007-10-12 16:00:26 · answer #7 · answered by darlin 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some men like the traditional family makeup. Call it Father Knows Best, or Leave it to Beaver existence, but there is a lot of stability in the traditional family makeup with Dad hunting and gathering, and Mom nurturing the kids. Unfortunately we've drifted away from that.. Anyway, your ex (and you) should have talked that issue through before you got married. It is a huge deal to agree on that. The real problem is you guys didn't communicate about it before hand. When you meet the next Mr. Right it would be wise to seek pre-marital counseling to make sure you've reached common ground on the major issues like this one, whether or not to have kids, your religious beliefs, etc.
2007-10-12 16:02:08 · answer #8 · answered by ready4sea 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I had the same situation and got divorced over it..he is still a jerk to me and always puts me down and always says I will never been anything..but I was when I meant him and gave up everything for him to make military moves over and over again. I never understood how someone who is breed and trained to have such a strong open minde about anyone can do anything in life keep his wife in a box. I would love to know this answer too but dont have one yet..thank goodness I am not catholic because divorce was my last resort.
2007-10-12 16:23:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Funny, I had the opposite problem. My wife had a full time job when I proposed. Soon afterwards we had a kid and she decided staying at home was better.
I can't say that I blame her. For the full time job that motherhood is, I have to say that she finds enough time to keep up with her soap operas while I'm at work.
Oh well, it really does work out the best for us both... It just wasn't what I was originally planning.
2007-10-12 15:53:08 · answer #10 · answered by Crypt 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋