i have a mentor that i am doing research with in the field i am interested in. there are some other people that i work with and they are all very supportive and encouraging. but this single and most influencive one ruins everything by talking to me in a very humiliating way infront of everybody. its embrassing and can affect my reputation.
whats the best policy to overcome the embaressment?
2007-10-12 15:27:47 · 3 answers · asked by me 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Assertiveness works in very few cases. There are books on verbal self defense. do a search on it there are many books, most by the same person.
Second nothing is embarrassing unless you think it is. i could get on stage in front of hundreds of people and piss my pants and not be embarrassed, I simple don't care "that much" what people think.
2007-10-12 16:19:29 · answer #1 · answered by gdc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a bully, your reactions are encouraging him.
I had trouble with a little sawed-off Captain like that once. The first time I ever saw him, as I walked into the room he said, " S**t, they sent me a G*d-damn rookie!!!"
My reply was level and calm, "SIR, How does trying to embarrass me make me a better officer?"
I had deflected his verbal attack and counter attacked in front of his staff in a way that was proper and polite but forceful. He never bothered me again, I wasn't "fun" anymore.
Decide if you want to wimp along and hope you can survive or stand up for yourself. Depending on what is said, this might be sexual harassment, even if both of you are the same sex.
Point out to the bully that his actions are inappropriate, and do it in front of the crowd. Good Luck.
2007-10-12 23:58:50 · answer #2 · answered by shasinc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to learn some assertiveness training skills. I can't give a good example with what you have written so far, but basically when a person humiliates you, you could ask to talk with them privately and state, "I know I did such-and-such, but this is what I tried to do. If you think I should have done it better, than you could say it (say the better way). The way you correct me hurts my feelings and is embarasses me, and I don't think it is necessary."
2007-10-12 22:47:25 · answer #3 · answered by cavassi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋