2007-10-12 15:10:06 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
you can not change them but they might be able to change themselves if they really want to with counseling to see why they feel they must be that way. It may be that this person feels insecure and therefor must be in charge at all times and if it is someone you are involved with, by getting counseling and assuring him that you are there, he may want to change.
If on the other hand he does not see anything wrong with himself and won't go to counseling, there is a good chance he could easily go from controlling to abusive.
2007-10-12 15:23:02 · answer #1 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi there
This is a very interesting but difficult question. Some people unfortunately are controlling by nature due to insecurity. If the person in question is close to you and this is a problem, you have to be strong and show them that you will not be controlled. You need to be disciplined in your approach, but in a nice way make it clear you will not be controlled. They generally rely on the fact that they can control you and once they realise they cant they have become dis empowered and depending how much respect they have for you will have no choice but to recess how they treat you otherwise they will be left with nothing.
Good Luck
2007-10-13 10:24:36 · answer #2 · answered by natasha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it will take as many years to get out, as it took to get there. We tend to pick up these issues as children, as children we don't understand why or how, and how is the hard part. I learned to turn off my feelings very young, so young that one often doesn't remember being any other way, so changing it is hard, because there is nothing to compare it with. So that certain feelings are only words to me, i understand the words and the descriptions of such, but words alone do not bring on the sensations. I know in my case, one can lessen the effect, learn to live with it, know the act of it by daily observance of all around them, but to actually feel it to any depth, i don't believe so. Maybe control issues can be, again, brought under control, but i should think like any addiction, it is always a daily struggle.
2007-10-12 23:16:22 · answer #3 · answered by ferochira 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can fundamentally change a personality, and a controlling person tends to have that hardwired into their personality.Now if they WANT to change, anything is possible. If you're asking if you can guide them toward wanting to change, maybe. It depends how well you know them and if you can push those buttons... in the right order.
If you can't get them to want to, they won't, it's as simple as that. Change has to be decided by the person making the change, not by somebody else who wants them to.
2007-10-12 23:11:35 · answer #4 · answered by mommylicious 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's going to be very difficult to GUIDE someone who is controlling. In general it is a matter of hard-wired temperament...you CAN try to understand precisely what makes them tick. Usually there are two reasons for a controlling personality: either their behavioral type or subtype is that of the "Director", or they are an "introverted feeling" psychological type -- in which case they are not really controlling (they don't fear loss of control), but they fail to respond to the feelings of others.
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Directors
Directors are driven by two governing needs: to control and achieve. Directors are goal-oriented go-getters who are most comfortable when they are in charge of people and situations. They want to accomplish many things-now-so they focus on no-nonsense approaches to bottom-line results.
Directors seek expedience and are not afraid to bend the rules. They figure it is easier to beg forgiveness than to ask permission. Directors accept challenges, take authority, and plunge head first into solving problems. They are fast-paced, task-oriented, and work quickly and impressively by themselves, which means they become annoyed with delays.
Directors are driven and dominating, which can make them stubborn, impatient, and insensitive to others. Directors are so focused that they forget to take the time to smell the roses.
http://www.platinumrule.com/aboutpr.asp
2007-10-12 22:15:28 · answer #5 · answered by Socion 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE TRUE TO YOURSELF. TAKE A TRIP FOR 2 DAYS WITHOUT THE ALLOWING OF SOMEONE ELSE. If you are 18 years of age or older, take a damn trip, get away, rethink your options. You can wish, want, vent, howl at the moon all you want and all it will do is knocking on a brick wall with NO results. Find yourself, get your self-esteem back, focus on yourself, quit trying to make them happy and warm and fuzzy inside. STOP RIGHT NOW!
Take the trip, get away and DO NOT settle for just any person that does not let you be yourself. FIND YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!
2007-10-12 22:38:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
controlling people are also victims of deeper psychololgy like insecurity. they can be helped only if they are willing to open up and address their insecurity issues. Change has got to come from themselves not outside
2007-10-12 22:23:43 · answer #7 · answered by lavagal.com 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wouldn't trying to change them make you controlling?
2007-10-12 22:23:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
not usually . most people like this are are pathological liars as well as a great outward personality. liked by most until they are caught in their deception. I've known several persons such as this and honestly tried to help him. he was my daughters boyfriend. but behind closed doors we did not know how he was treating her . both physical and verbal abuse in the most severe manner . be careful.
2007-10-12 22:21:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
they MIGHT change if you changed your responses, but i wouldn't hold my breath.
the odds are against change.
2007-10-12 22:23:25 · answer #10 · answered by nickipettis 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋