Is he cheating or planning to cheat?

Question

Ok I know this is gonna sound bad but, i kinda set my fiance up on Myspace. I pretended to be someone else to see what he would say. I sent a flirty message to him as the fake girl, to my surprised he responed. In the fake message i sent him said''I seen you profile and I like what I see, drop me a line if you are interested". He responed" I like what i see too, write back when you can spare a little time''. I was floored and so damn mad and very hurt , but i asked for right?We were planning to get married soon also, What should I do ? Tell him its me or keep pretending to see how far he would take it? Or what?
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Answer 1

Well, I would carry on for awhile to see how far he would go. If he's just flirting, then you can decide if you want to work that out, but if he starts getting personal and even intimate then you have a really good idea that he can NOT be trusted. 'Course it's up to you, but that's what I would do so I would know for sure what he's really like. It may prevent ALOT of bigger problems later on.

If it was me, I would NEVER marry him now.

Answer 2

Just be honest. Tell him that some guy sent you some interesting messages and was interested in you on Myspace. Ask him if he has ever received any interesting messages lately from girls. By this time the wheels should be turning and he should be figuring out that the message was from you and not someone else.
If he denies getting any kind of message keep probing and see if he'll fess up. If he still doesn't fess up, confront him and then put off any future plans with him (marriage for example). If he can't come clean with this then what else has he been hiding. This innocent message should not be kept a secret unless he is looking elsewhere, has back up or is not committed to you or any relationship.

Answer 3

He may not necessarily be showing "true colors" here. Young guys can be lured into being playful when they don't think anything serious is at stake.

However, you bring up an important point and one that should not be lost, especially during the engagement period. I would take the risk and confront him with it. Be prepared, however, to face some real anger and embarrassment on his part. If you do this, it's important that you stand your ground and not get caught up in his emotion. Be honest and practical about it.

The fact is, he showed a side of himself that brings his loyalty into question. Stand on that alone. Admit that you tricked him into it, but that he needs to answer this challenge: Is he going to be faithful to you or isn't he? Give him a chance to blow of the steam, but don't stand for a tirade. If he gets out of hand, just walk away and tell him to think about it and get back to you.

If you lose him, you haven't lost much. And, it's better to know now what he's made of. If he's worth keeping, he'll admit his weakness, apologize, and ask your forgiveness. You will have to respond with some firm conditions for your continued engagement.

Loyalty is not an option in marriage - it's one of the cornerstones.

Answer 4

You sound young and unsure of this relationship you're in. You can see how far he will take it if you want to know deep down what kind of character he's made of, but know most young men and some older ones without counseling from more aged and wise men to help them, will flirt or put themselves in compromising situations trying to see "if they still got it". But if you've set this trap you set it because you were unsure about him right off, or you're looking for a way out. Now that the game is under way you have only 2 options play it out or drop it and never look back(ever, or speak about it).

Answer 5

Plain and simple if your are really worried, the way to know for sure is for you to back off of the web talking to him. If you try to do a set-up and actually meet him or stay in the background and hide to see if he shows to meet the MYSTERIOUS WOMAN (which would be you). It may backfire really bad. The only way to really keep an eye would be to if in the future you're worried to get the undetectable "cheaters.com" software and download it. It takes camera shots of everything he is saying to anybody. You can do your own password on it and go from there to check on daily basis who he is talking to. Do that before marriage. The internet makes it way to easy to cheat these days anyway, so don't settle for just any man.

Answer 6

First I would tell him, but also not that self prophecies usually come true. What you have done is deceive him and he has done the same to you (birds of a feather flock together). That said and done, I would seek pre-marital counseling on behalf of BOTH of you as you BOTH have issues to work out.

To play games with someone and then be upset that you found out what you thought you would find is no better than the person that you found out what you were looking for.

Answer 7

I would keep talking because you may find that he is willing to meet this girl somewhere, but you might also find out that it is just talk and nothing more. I get messages now and then on yahoo IM and I talk to them - nothing flirty though - and it is just that I am being nice and polite.
Once you are married he may have no interest at all in that site.

Answer 8

you must have had some idea on how he would have reacted too these things,or why do it in the first place,,,,i dont think it is as serious as you are thinking,it might be just abit off fun too him,or maybe in a sense he knows its you and just playing along...chill out i understand how you must have felt hon,but i wouldnt read too much into it,,its a mans ego at the end off the day,,you guys go ahead get married and have a great life,in years to come it will be a great story to tell the kids xxxx

Answer 9

Men cheat because the rules are suppressing. Women never get used to it because DNA is suppressing. Since the pill, evolution is already making a big difference. Men will now have a hard time dealing with that. Life is short - make it sweet!

Answer 10

No, he'll be upset that you don't trust him and "tested" him...you put it out there you may as well ask a good friend of yours to meet him & see if he's going to go meet her. Might as well find out now right? Guys like the attention that's for sure, and if you just happened to walk in the place when they were meeting, no harm done.