Hello I am 23 years old and married to the man that i have been together for 7 years. I have two boys the oldest being 5 years old. I am a stay at home mom and my life is pretty much my kids and husband. Dont go out with friends or talk to any other adults, my life is my family anf i love them. Dont have any regrets. Today i was reading some messeges from my husbands phone. He is 25 and he is in sales. There was some text messeges that had been under the delete file. It was messeges from a girl that he had known from along time ago. The messege stsrted with him saying how r u doin my love and what r u doing tonight and jsut plain talk but the thing is in all those messeges he calls her my love and hun, which is usually what i call him. HE SAYS IT DID NOT MEAN ANYTHING BUT AS I RECALL I DONT REALLY CALL FRIENDS MY LOVE. Ther was nothing more but that and i feel hurt. Am i wrong?
2007-10-12 13:19:30 · 36 answers · asked by mommielovefun21 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He has never cheated but he is a flirt he says he has to because it is part of his job. he leases apartments and says he has to flirt with the ladies. does it make sense? or am i being too jeloues?
2007-10-12 13:24:11 · update #1
After i spoke to him he keeps on saying that he hasnt cheated which is true that i shouldnt make a big deal beacuse it is not like i found him saying things like lets meet up or anything sexual, but him calling someone my love is flirting isnt ?
2007-10-12 13:34:42 · update #2
Yes#
2007-10-12 13:33:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think you have every right to be upset! HE is a married man and talking to an old girlfriend is a big NO NO. people can be married and have friends of the opposite sex but not an old girlfriend. WHats wrong with him. I know hes young but he got married and has started a family with you. Unless he is busy with work he should be concentrating on his LOVE at home. If he didnt "mean anything " why were they deleted and why didnt he tell you that someone had been texting him.... You may want to not say much right now, but girl keep your eyes and ears open. Also you can set up an online account for your cell phone and check the calls and data. That will put it right in front of you whats been going on. Good luck.
2007-10-12 14:15:53 · answer #2 · answered by deerlady2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well probably wrong for reading his messages in the first place, but since you found something.
This is the way I look at cheating, and my girlfriend knows this and agrees. If I would have worded it differently if I knew you were going to read it, thats cheating. If he calls all the girls luv even in front of you, its not big deal. I personal call girls luv, or honey, or sweetheart etc. Usually because I dont remember their names. But if my girlfriend read that on my phone it wouldnt bug her because thats what I call all the girls.
If he doesnt and thinks he shouldnt have, then its an issue. I dont know his personality and how he is around other girls. Sales people are usually pretty friendly. Good ones always talk in warm tones. I wouldnt find it strange for a sales person to be saying that. If you are a home wife and mother he must do okay at it. So he must be friendly.
It either means absolutely nothing. Or it could mean alot. Im like your husband I call everybody love too. My girlfriend and I were at dinner last night. The girl refilled my water. I said thanks love. I paid the bill and said you were wonderful sweetheart. Thats just how I talk. But I dont know how he talks.
Good Luck.
2007-10-12 13:35:46 · answer #3 · answered by financing_loans 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
unfortunately you are going through what is called the 7 yr itch
The honeymoon is over and the marriage may be also.
No point in contacting the other woman she would lie for him anyway.
Getting pissed will not help you.
Get him where it hurts if it goes to divorce the pocket book I don't know what state you are in but I would at least consult a lawyer and accidentally leave the business card lying out in plain view. Leave the phone book open to the yellow pages and have a couple of divorce lawyers circled in red. Works wonders LOL
It is easy to jump to conclusions and let our minds wonder if the signs are there it is also easy to misread them but if he tells you he flirts to lease an apartment then one thing comes to mind if I was renting from him Sexual Harassment and law suit
2007-10-12 13:49:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not being too jealous. I'd be ripping mad if I found my husband calling some other woman hun or my love. You're his wife, if he says that to anyone it should be you.
He shouldn't have to flirt to do his job. That's BS. He can be friendly and professional without flirting.
If I were you I'd have a serious talk about it with him. Not in a confrontational way, but a calm discussion. How would he feel if the situation were reversed?
Good luck.
2007-10-15 12:18:13 · answer #5 · answered by ciela109 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your right he is wrong. What he mean he has to flirt and is his job. He is a sales.. he can comment on the ladies but flirt around? that is not right.
U have the right to feel angry about the message. Is hard to trust a person after they lie to you. if you already had talked to him about it and he isn't proving you that you're his only one then there is a problem. Well you guys have been together for long. You know as a couple one of you guys or two have to keep up the spark alive. That is how to keep the relationship last. Good luck
2007-10-12 13:32:39 · answer #6 · answered by ceci 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, you are not wrong! There is no reason why a married man should be calling anyone, "my love."
If after this talk you had with him, start looking for signs. Is he being more aware of where he places his cell phone? Does he guard it cautiously for fear you might go through it? When he receives a phone call, does he step out of the room? If so, why can't he talk while you're there?
What were her responses to him?
Be more alert. It sounds like you guys have been together for a long time for two people so young. *If* he is doing anything, god forbid, maybe he feels like he hasn't explored enough. Your woman's intuition is *never* wrong.
If you see any of those signs or anything else that might be of significance, try talking to him again. If he seems distant or disinterested, then there might be a problem.
Good luck and stay alert!
With Love <3
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No, he doesn't *have* to flirt with anyone. If he thinks he has to flirt to lease apartments, then he isn't a very good salesman, and should find another line of work.
But all in all, there's a difference between flirting with customers and flirting with someone you've known for a while (as you've stated it was his friend).
Don't get the two confused or mixed up. It sounds like you're trying to make excuses for him. Don't make excuses, and trust your gut. Because in the end, it's not going to affect you nearly as much as it will your two children.
With Love <3
2007-10-12 13:22:29 · answer #7 · answered by ♫♪ Jukebox Hero ♪♫ 4 · 4⤊ 3⤋
Only you know your husband well enough to know what my luv and hun mean to him. My husband is also a HUGE flirt. It took me awhile to get used to it, but there is a line and anything that makes me uncomfortable he stops. He doesn't even know he is doing it half the time. I would definatly feel hurt and betrayed if this happened to me with or without cheating. Although I have no guy friends and he has no girlfriends, we're both to jealous. Ask him to stop and hopefully he loves and respects you enough to. Anything that makes you uncomfortable should be his top priority. Good Luck
2007-10-12 14:16:02 · answer #8 · answered by taken 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong. Being married, he should have respect for you and your feelings. However, "hun" there is really nothing wrong with him saying that to an old female friend of his. I call all my male friends "hun". It's just a like calling a child or a stranger "sweety", there's not much more than that. However, "love" that is a different story. He who is married, should only call one his love, and that is you. I would get mad if my other half called another female - love. In fact, I would think there is more to it. And then I think of it this way... he has much to lose if he's not smart. Good Luck
2007-10-12 13:32:17 · answer #9 · answered by Butterfly 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Oh my gosh, I am the queen of being heart stopped,cheated on and used and lied to. No one beats what I have been through I am sure. Get smart and do your homework! Get that woman's phone # or a way to contact her asap. She will tell you if there is something going on as long as he has not told her to be quiet and be on the hush hush and if she is a decent woman. Also contact someone at his work that you can talk to, they will possibly help you. As long as you keep buying his "It meant nothing" stories, he thinks he is free and clear to keep doing it. Also you have to let him know that it bothers you and that you are not stupid. I can tell you so much what I have been through and how I took care of his cheating and lying crap. He has to see that you will not put up with it at all.
2007-10-12 13:40:27 · answer #10 · answered by Dana B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm all for marriage and family-been married for 12 yrs. and 2 boys. HOWEVER, What your husband has done is totally inappropriate. I would be livid! I never call male friends Hun or my love and nor ever would I. It would hurt my husband just as i know it would hurt me too. I think maybe your marriage needs both your full attention right now. HE IS WRONG. too late to apologize, damage is done, but he should be on alert from here on out. Please call him on this and never let someone treat you like that. Its disrespectful to you and you marriage. I also get the feeling he's not telling you the truth...
2007-10-12 13:30:41 · answer #11 · answered by rachel t 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋