is a man a loser in life if he does not have any children cause children give you a life lesson?

Question

i just don't feel like having kids in my life and my significant other agrees cause we both feel it's too hard and expensive to raise a child in this world from the current pressures out there and what kind of pressure our child will face in the future cause i know the future won't get any better

Answer 1

Congratulations, you are making the right choice. If you don't have children it only proves that you are smart enough to think for "outside the box". It does not make you a looser at all.

Choosing not to have children is called "Childfree". There are "Childfree" social clubs, where you can hang with people that feel the same way, and in some cases get group discounts on adult only activities like vacations, cruses, comedy club events, etc.

I get told that I am, "A waste of human life", communist, gay, and other things. I just show people all the stamps in my passport, and my pictures I took all over the world, they shut up!

Often people will ask where are the pictures of my children? I tell them I have none. They say, "You will when you get older". They are shocked to hear that I am old enough to be their father.

Most of my friends that have kids regret their choice. I tell them it is better to regret not having children, than to regret having them, like they do.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Well, I've really struggled with these thoughts myself. Yes, children will teach you life lessons. Remember that our grandparents thought the world was going to hell in a handbasket too, in their time. Okay, some things have gotten worse, but others better. We cannot judge, we do not have the capacity to see into the future. Children will be better equipped to deal with the world of 2050 or 2070 - we would have a more difficult time.

It comes down to personal preference, really. If you don't want children, don't feel guilty. I was talking to a man today who had two children, and said if he could go back in time, he would not have made the same choice again. Is that just a cynical reaction on the spur of the moment?

I know how difficult the decision can be to make.

Answer 3

You are entitled to your own beliefs.
Having no children of your own does not stop you from having any connection with them.
You are certainly no looser but a person with his own ideas on life. You are an individual and in being so you are different from some.
We all think differently....if we all thought the same as you then the population of the world would be less.
Some people don't think of the repercussions of having children and go ahead anyway...sure it's not easy bringing up children and your quite right ...it is expensive and it's a lifetime commitment. Some people can cope and get over the obstacles but then there are some who feel they don't even want to go there...this doesn't make either of you losers.
I have friends who are childless by choice and they still have children around them...they are Aunts and Uncles and they get to experience the joys and tribulations of children on a shared basis.

Answer 4

Wow, that's full of despair!

Many do feel despair in society, their geneology, and creation of their own life. I was watching some tv show about a DNA test that predetermined if you will have breast cancer. Well, they found it. A family with many early deaths (30's-60's) got tested. The reporter never asked them the question, "Now that you know your gene's create breast cancer, how do you feel about having kids?" I guess if it were me with the bad gene lottery, I might hesitate on having childreen. Then again, I do love life and have hope for a great present and future. I'd say in this situation that 30 years of life is still 30 more than none, & I'm so greatful for my life.

I would say that in the state of despair you have for now and the future that you are making a good choice for yourself. It also sounds as if you & your spouse agree which isn't hurting another's sexuality. It's so painful when your sexuality is attacked by saying "I don't want kids" and the other does.

However, I do belive that life without creation is death itself. I suppose that creation isn't limited to human life. Creation is something that's bigger than we aspire to be (hope) and benefits others without a person gain. I do hope that you find some hope for the present and future and are able to create something wonderful with this short time we're given here.

Answer 5

I have no kids, because I don't want any. I don't feel like a loser at all. Much less, at least, then all these people that I know who have kids because that's what you're supposed to do as an adult - they suck as parents.
You do what you feel like. If someday you want kids you can still have them, and if not, it's your decision and people who call you a loser are probably just jelaous because they in some way share your opinions but didn't have the balls to go by what they want.

Answer 6

Most likely, if you don't have kids it is because you're less sexually active or use contraception more consistently than the average person. Most kids are accidentally conceived as a result of promiscuity or failure to use protection. Not having kids may make you unusual, depending on your age, but it doesn't make you a loser. If anyone is a loser, it's the 20 year olds with 3 unplanned children.

Answer 7

Hell no you aren't a loser in life if you choose not to have kids! That's preposterous!!! If you and your spouse are not ready/willing to have a child than that is perfectly fine. I wish other people would be like you and realize if they are not able to take care of a baby don't have one!!! Do what you feel is right.

Answer 8

Welcome to the new reality. I'm 34, employed, well educated. Very few of our friends are choosing to have kids for lots of resons. Unfortunately the uneducated masses are cranking them out so we're all screwed.

Answer 9

no it jest means that you have thot it throw and probably are more responsible then other people

Answer 10

no not at all.