I'm 30 and engaged to a great guy. We don't often have the desire to go out to bars or socializing much anymore. We go out to dinner weekly and visit friends a few times a month, but other than that we don't go "out, out" anymore. No drinking, hanging out in clubs etc....is this a normal progression? Or are we being anti-social?
2007-10-12 11:01:19 · 14 answers · asked by Why? 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That is so darned normal. You two are not only enjoying each other's company, you are probably content with just being together.
2007-10-12 12:19:32 · answer #1 · answered by black57 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending upon the type of arrangement you have with your relationship, I'd say it is normal. You seem to have bonded with each others company and the urge to "party" is more in line with being with each other. As you grow in your relationship, the weight of life (better known as responsibilities) tends to take the drive of partying further away...NOT that you shouldn't have fun and do exciting things together...just not in the same way it may have been in your teens and twenties.
This doesn't make you old and frumpy either. I'm in my 40's, still think of myself as a fun person and love to have a good time, I just don't feel the same now about even the way I used to have fun 20 years ago. Though I think about it sometimes, I know how it would end up...Clubbin' just ain't the same anymore. Good friends, varied music, and loved ones at a bar-b-que can be quite memorable. Plus spending time with the one you love on those special get-aways can make being a bit older and responsible that much more fun.
Just remember to communicate with your partner. Plan "dates" to go do something special or maybe to re-live some old memories at that special dance club. Don't fret if you've lost interest in past activities...discover those new ones together and enjoy your life. You're by no means ant-social.
Good luck and live to the fullest.
2007-10-12 18:30:12 · answer #2 · answered by n2dfyrigo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your 30, its time to stay home. You don't have to be in clubs and bars to have a great time. As long as your together, then it shouldn't matter what you do. Drink at home, buy whatever booze you like and drink it at home. Plan really cheesy, romantic things to do at home. Play "games", watch movies, take baths together, have candle lit dinners, go on walks, find a hobby you both enjoy, take some classes together, have dinner parties, invite friends over for a fire if you have a fire pit. Dance, laugh, play, have a great time at home. And every once in a while, go to a pub with friends.
My finace and I don't go out, out anymore either. Not that we really did. I have had enough of that LIFE style but we are also expecting our first child together. So that is the high light for us.
2007-10-12 18:21:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL...Welcome to married life!!! At least you're getting used to it now. All kidding aside...it is normal, BUT after some years you might end up getting bored with eachother (possibly resent eachother). Going out to dinner every week or two and socialize is a very healthy thing to do for your relationship. Going to clubs gets pretty old, so not going there is totally normal. Also at some point you'll have children and go out even less for a while. You may want to enjoy things now.
2007-10-12 19:10:42 · answer #4 · answered by DesignDiva1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I venture out once a year whether we need to or not! People inevitably settle down and enjoy each other's company. Once that wears off after about 5 years, you might enjoy more entertaining but you are likely to be involved with children and then you never see the inside of a club again! I don't mind at all. If its what you both like, just enjoy!
2007-10-12 18:08:56 · answer #5 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a good foundation to a lasting relationship.
You've out grown those things. Look for some new things to share together. Hiking or some outdoor activity perhaps? Live theater?
You both may have only been going to those places looking for each other, and now that you've found each other you've come to realize that sitting around drinking isn't how you really want to spend your lives.
Find new ways to enjoy life together.
2007-10-12 18:15:52 · answer #6 · answered by Duck! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's normal? Think back when you went clubbing single....how common was it to see married couples that were "regulars"? I think that is mostly (not always) a singles activity, so it would only be natural you two are gravitating away from it. Find something new you both want to do together. Life changes....just go with the flow.
2007-10-12 18:17:05 · answer #7 · answered by JoyZboyZ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like you want to go out and miss the things the youre doing before, then good thing to do is talk to him and ask him if he wanted to go out also.
Is it because he dont wanna go?
Or it could be you just want to rest - or call it " graduated" from bars and clubs.
2007-10-12 18:11:17 · answer #8 · answered by princessqueen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im 30 but married half and half........going out to dinner is good and visit some together great but clubing not good unless u both dance if not a bar is good then yeah you both are anti-social which i think is you and his world,but you both may get tried of being around each other,but i hope ya'll still have friends
2007-10-12 18:07:10 · answer #9 · answered by bronsonrobertson 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sounds to me like your creating a world for you both, where your not out having to do the club thing, cuz that is just a way to 'hook up'... you have what you need, so you don't have to do that........ You've both matured past that point......... Congratulations on the next step to adulthood..... hehehehe
2007-10-12 18:31:06 · answer #10 · answered by bizzymom38 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋